Deleted14262969User Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Before I start: Since I wasn't sure where to post it I post it under general discussion. Now onto the topic: I'm writing a fanfic and befor posting it to any other side I'd like to know what do you think of it. It's kind of short, but hey everything has to start somewhere :tongue: Since I'm not English writing english-style is kind of problematic to me. But I do my best to avoid the so infamous " Block/Wall of text" :smile: So let the story begin :D Also I'm sorry for not upoading the orginal file, I'd prefer to make corrections / expand the chapter first... So here it comes: Prologue He felt something. It was distant and close at the same time, strange and familiar. And just after a while he recognized it : cold . He felt cold on his skin. But if he could feel it then... The spell is wavering! A single thought shot through his mind. And this single thought was enough to wake him. His eyes opened rapidly. He raised his massive head and blinked a few times. He heard some faint sound but ignored it at first. It wasn't until a sting of pain shot in his front paw. He looked down to see a small thing stuck in his skin. An arrow most likely. He raised his head and saw a bunch of Nords cowering in the corner with one stupid enough to aim at him. He growled. " Gelum hin zun, lir." The man's expression changed to that of confusion but he didn't withdraw the arrow. In fact he pulled the bow's string even harder. "Hi dreh ni mindoraan daar tinvok dreh hi? Kent Zu'u nuft daar guttal tinvok do hin?" The man didn't budged but his nerves gave up and the hand holding the arrow started to shake. " You are brave for a worm, you know. You and those friend of yours will make some fine servants." He snorted, amused. His voice ranged throughout the halls. " We will not serve you, you overgrown lizard!" The man with a bow shouted. The dragon went silent before asking " What is your name, mortal?" " Why do you care, lizard?" he growled. He laughed at his bold reply. " You see it doesn't make any difference to me whether you'll serve me in life or in death. I'm a necromancer, you see. So make your choice! Serve me in life or in death!" He roared. " To hell with you monster!" He narrowed his amber eyes and gave a low growl " Foolish choice.." He raised to his all four and shouted: Yol Toor Shul . A fire consumed insolent creature within minutes his agonized screams continued for a while until his twisted and burned body hit the floor, only to spill into the ashes. His gaze moved toward the rest of fallen fool's companions. There were five at least and all trying to escape his wrath. He took a deep breath and shouted: Foh Krah Diin. And all those fools who dared to dwell into his prison were frozen to death by his ice breath. He pondered over his situation. The seal holding him in place was wavering, yes. But he didn't know whether any of his once-brothers were still alive. He was too weak to break totally free and he needed to send someone to investigate. His gaze returned to the five dead bodies. Siil Aaarl Daal! * He watched calmly as his new puppets rise and turn toward him. " Hi los nu ko dii suleyk, sahlag ulfah." He saw them desperately resist to kneel but the thu'um of his voice was stronger. " You are now my eyes and ears in this land until I won't be free of this place once more. Now go, find the Dragon Seal and return with it to me. He watched them leave. And couldn't help but give out a cold laugh. This world wasn't ready to face him again, yet. But he shall have his revenge. ___________________________________________________*Siil Aarl Daal- A non canon necromantic shout made up by myself. It translates literally to : Slave-Soul-Return: Your Thu'um orders the soul of slayed warrior to return from grave.Forever binding it to its body and your will until the power of your Thu'um won't be silenced. Gelum hin zun, lir- Lower your weapon, worm.Hi dreh ni mindoraan daar tinvok dreh hi? Kent Zu'u nuft daar guttal tinvok do hin?"- You do not understand this language, do you? Must I use this guttal language of yours?Hi los nu ko dii suleyk, sahlag ulfah- you are now in my power pitiful creatures . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saurusmaximus Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 A dragon necromancer? What a nice idea! Having read the prologue, I'm intrigued enough to keep reading. Other than a few grammatical errors, you're off to a good start. On a related note, this would be a good idea for a mod :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted14262969User Posted January 20, 2015 Author Share Posted January 20, 2015 A dragon necromancer? What a nice idea! Having read the prologue, I'm intrigued enough to keep reading. Other than a few grammatical errors, you're off to a good start. On a related note, this would be a good idea for a mod :laugh:thank you, sorry I didn't got a notice, anyway the story will be continued here-> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10563096/1/Darkness-Rises Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBawb Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 A very interesting read, I quite enjoyed it. How long did it take you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted14262969User Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 A very interesting read, I quite enjoyed it. How long did it take you?About an hour to write it down, although the getting the opening scene right and climatic... About 3 days, if I remember :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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