50 replies to this topic

[Rhydderch Hael]

Not the funniest assassination— but the coolest. During Cassie's ascendency in the Dark Brotherhood, she was tasked to kill Alval Uvani, Mister "I'll Turn Your Bones to Ash!" himself. From the schedule, Cassie learned that Uvani travels from Bruma to Leyawiin on Sundas. Well, it was Loredas when Cassie picked up the dead drop, and she was in the area of Leyawiin. No need to go out and hunt the fellow down— she'll wait in ambush and watch him walk to his death.

Cassie made the intercept on the Yellow Road, south of the Panther River bridge at a point where the curving road straightens out a ways. Cassie sat herself in the middle of the road at one end of this lane and waited for Uvani to approach. She was armed with a 40-shot enchanted Ebony bow and a few Daedric arrows. Cassie wetted a round down with a Journeyman-level Damage Health poison, nocked the bow and zoomed her sight downrange.

Uvani was just moving into view, and from a zoomed perspective— that's quite a distance away. Cassie waited until Uvani's path carried him into the center of the lane (ensuring that he was approaching Cassie straight-on), elevated her sight to the best estimate for range and loosed the shot.

Red fumes surrounded Uvani. He'd been hit. From Cassie's long-distance view, she saw him draw a dagger and begin running towards her. Uvani took about three strides before his knees buckled and his body fell backwards onto the scrabble.

Casandra Serein took him down with a single shot at a range exceeding one hundred yards— a stealth kill in broad daylight. It was a thing of beauty. My only disappointment was finding that the arrow disintegrated on impact, making it impossible to gauge the fall of the shot. A hit is a hit, nonetheless. It was the longest shot Cassie ever attempted— the fact that it hit (and moreso, it was a one-hit kill) made it an amazing highlight to Cassie's dark career.

I'm trying to imagine it from Uvani's end: he's walking along on a sunny road to Leyawiin, listening to the birds chirping and humming his favorite John Denver song into the breeze. And suddenly this Daedric arrow comes whistling down from the clear sky and slams into his gut...

[LlamaSprinter]

I was in the waterfront just minding my own buisness and walking around when i saw an orc leave his house. Luckily i had been doing roof jumping and got up my acrobatics. I jumped onto a roof and leapt closer to him. AS he passed i loaded up my bow (In sneak attack) Jumped off of the house (still unseen) and shot him right in the head.

[CJD]

I was on the dock, in Anvil looking for a fight, so I sneaked up behind this guy, something the worm, and punched him in the back of the head, he yelled assault, and took a step forward, and fell of the dock. He went under water, and tried to swim thru the dock. He just drowned. haha. oh, and the guard who should have been there, had a mysterious arrow, thru his neck, wonder what happened. mwahahaha!!!

[MovingSalad]

Witht he "RM Fights" mod installed (at leat I think that is what the name is) the mod makes barfights available by adding NPC's named "deadbeats" these deadbeats will fight eachother (and you will then have the choiuce to intervene) but normally I take a seat and watch. The occasional deadbeat will miss his mark and hit one of the real NPC's made by bethesda, they of course, start to fight. Strangely enough the High elf "Hirtel", the guy that will confront you early on in the main quet at kvatch, started to fight an orc deadbeat, the fight carried on outside, I did'nt bother following them because another giht had broke out inside the tavern. When I steped out the door though I was staring a ta a pair of legs, Hirtel's legs, I moved a bit farther out and turned around to see hirtel's body embedded in the awning on top of the door, his head spasming in and his feet dangling in front of the door. The orc simply shrugged and went back into the tavern.

[LlamaSprinter]

Funny. How do the barfights start?

[MovingSalad]

Funny. How do the barfights start?

Well, many differant ways, the mod also adds useable weapons like stale bread, beer bottles, forks, etc (These weapons are spread out across many differant taverns, but do not overwrite any of the xisting misc or drinkable items, so you need not worry about that. Back to what you said, you may attack one of the drunkards on sight and they and every other "deadbeat" will start to fight eachother (although, if you target a specific deadbeat, the other deadbeats will not go hostile towards you, unless you make a move against them) But I have also been to fights and the "deadbeats" will fight without me intervening or start it in any way, all of the sudden one of them picks up a fork and hits the other over the head with it. I don't have much experiance with it so I could'nt tell you.

But if you are interested in getting this mod you'll probably want the No Phsycic Guards mod, which I highly encourage you to get. This mod makes it so that the NPC's cry for help or "Robbery" will only be as far as their hearing distance, which adds lots's of realism to the game.

[Rhydderch Hael]

... He went under water, and tried to swim thru the dock. He just drowned. haha. ...

You know, this is exactly how I dreamed about finishing the Mages' Guild mission "Ambush". I want to lead Falcar to some pool of water inside the temple, knock him into the drink and cast Paralyze on the sucker until he dies.

It's the only way, folks. Any other method would be an affront to the gods of irony.

[MovingSalad]

In the DarkBrotherhood I had to kill "Somebody Hoar-Eye" in the mountains near bruma. I did this by using my high acrobatics skill and leaping piece by piece down the mountain as Hoar-Eye followed me, he hurt himself the whole way down until he died of it, lol.

[loach]

Well, I can't say I've had such luck as some of these tales being told, all very interesting,
and I am reminded of an assassination mission that had me rather confused for a bit.

I was assigned to kill a certain woman, and arriving at the small farmhouse where she lived
I am thinking this will be the easiest job ever, as the woman is of advanced age and
obviously isn't going to offer any difficulty.

However, after sneaking up and firing my traditional poison arrow directly into her stooped
elderly back, she does not fall over dead as expected, but runs over to me and attacks
as if it were merely a bee sting. Well, surprise or not, I had a job to do, so I pulled
out a dagger and commenced fighting. Obviously, she realized then that she had no
chance, so she turned and ran away. However, I was amazed at the speed at which
this lady ran! I, a qualified assassin, trained highly in ways athletic and acrobatic,
at the height of my physical condition, watched in pure disbelief as this withered
old woman outran me by a large margain.

It all ended poorly as she made it to the road and contacted a passing guard due
to her uncanny speed, and I was forced to expose myself to more danger than I usually
care to in order to complete my assignment. The job was completed of course, I pride
myself on never failing a mission, but I shall long remember that woman and her
amazing run as a reminder to always expect the unexpected. :ph34r:

[CJD]

Well, I can't say I've had such luck as some of these tales being told, all very interesting,
and I am reminded of an assassination mission that had me rather confused for a bit.

I was assigned to kill a certain woman, and arriving at the small farmhouse where she lived
I am thinking this will be the easiest job ever, as the woman is of advanced age and
obviously isn't going to offer any difficulty.

However, after sneaking up and firing my traditional poison arrow directly into her stooped
elderly back, she does not fall over dead as expected, but runs over to me and attacks
as if it were merely a bee sting. Well, surprise or not, I had a job to do, so I pulled
out a dagger and commenced fighting. Obviously, she realized then that she had no
chance, so she turned and ran away. However, I was amazed at the speed at which
this lady ran! I, a qualified assassin, trained highly in ways athletic and acrobatic,
at the height of my physical condition, watched in pure disbelief as this withered
old woman outran me by a large margain.

It all ended poorly as she made it to the road and contacted a passing guard due
to her uncanny speed, and I was forced to expose myself to more danger than I usually
care to in order to complete my assignment. The job was completed of course, I pride
myself on never failing a mission, but I shall long remember that woman and her
amazing run as a reminder to always expect the unexpected. :ph34r:

you should have changed to the bow, and filled her full of arrows, til she hit the ground running, the guards? oh man you don't know the half of it, my character is a lvl 255 assassin, and every guard is 255 as well. interesting battles.


another one of my funny assassinations was when, I was in Leyawin, going for Adamus Philida *wink*
I was behind the rock, and fired my arrow, just as he got out of the water, the guard looked at him, then at me, and the arrow struck Adamus in the neck, he died, and the guard, just casually walked away, he returns to the same spot every night, until the uhh...incident. mwahaha