HELP WANTED.
Designer (s) of chocolate products wrappings or containers. Must be taseful, attractive, and appealing. So must be said wrappings and containers designs.
Apply: dezdi's as yet unnamed house of delights. Or in this thread. Only the most delicious and subltley suggestive designs will be considered.
Remuneration will be chocolate currency. Your choice of denomination. Fringe benefits offered re: arrangement with dezdis as yet unnamed house of delights.
WE ARE AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES EMPLOYER WORKING TOWARDS A BETTER TAMRIEL
I would like to apply:
Name: The Goddess
Address: Tamriel
Qualifications: Known to have eaten tons of chocolate in my time...both in candy and .....other..formats.
Can flirt with customers and convince them to purchase more chocolate. I can make little heart designs or Oblivion designs on the chocolate. Can moonlight at afore mentioned house of delights.
Please contact asap as I need a job. Not much for the Champion of Cyrodiil to do now. Will do anything including desplaying chocolate in the window...scantily clad in only pumps and the chocolate of the day.
Dear Ms The Goddess,
While your application doesnt quite fit the terms of the advertised postition vacant, there are some aspects of it which are intriquing, to say the least.
You say that you have vast experience of the consumption of chocolate, and that is good. One should always bring points of reference to any occupation. As to 'other formats' , one may only hazard a guess as to what this could possibly refer to. We should be happy to discuss these with you should you be called for interview. Having your full CV laid out for us would be most helpful in this respect.
Though there aren't any openings in sales at the moment, your suggestion of placing yourself on display, as it were, and clad , as it were, as you say you would be prepared to be does give us some pause for thought. Perhaps we haven't explored, as yet , all of the potential marketing ploys which are to hand, as it were. And you may have just moved us in another direction, re this, all together .
As luck would have it , we are in the process of enlarging , slightly, our bay window. This was going to be the street side showcase for our exotic selection of goods on offer. We had planned to have just the usual attractive display shelves showing these off.
Your 'new' concept, however, has brought up something and our perspective has been enlarged, so to speak. So we may just have to give it some further consideration.
Of course we should require further correspondence with you detailing just how scantily you are prepared to be clad. We hope that you would not object to supplying us with photos of yourself as described. Purely for reference only, you understand.
As to the pumps: there may be health and safety, and food preparation bylaws which must be taken into consideration. These are, however, minor details and we are sure that we may put these to one side and reach some accomodation with you, should your application be successful.
Thank you for the interest you have shown in this position. Should any other positions come up we would hope that you would see fit to apply for those as well. We can not, unfortunately, help you with your offer of 'moonlighting' at dezdi's as yet unnamed house of delights. We recommend that you contact dezdi directly and she will take you in hand, as it were, for she is very hands on.
Yours most sincerely,
Chesto, Sole Prop., Tamriel Exotic Chocolates and Patented Wipes for Adventurers.
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