59 replies to this topic

[Tom2681]

You want irony?

By attacking the small village of Helgen, Alduin the World-Eater inadvertently saves the life of the only person who can stop him (aka: you).
Without Alduin, you would get your head chopped off & he would be free to destroy the world.

Oh, and Skyrim would be a bit of a ripoff.
*Bethesda Softworks presents*
*Skyrim*
*Carriage ride*
*Character creation*
*Chop*
*The end*

[Moraevik]

I needed a good laugh, Tom, and you gave me one. And you're right -- that IS the biggest irony in the entire game.

I have another one. The Civil War is over. Ulfric is dead. Windhelm is in ruins (or was until I installed a mod to fix it -- yet another failure by Bethesda to "clean up" after a quest). Would you believe there are people all over Skyrim, including in Windhelm, itself, who still talk as though the Civil War is still raging and Ulfric is still alive and a force to be reckoned with? I wonder where they were during the siege, anyway?

Oh, by the way. I have the rank of Legate in the Imperial Army. I outrank every single Imperial soldier and guard in Skyrim except for my fellow Legates and General Tullius. They still treat me like trash with comments like "Stay out of trouble, Khajiit!" Too bad the game doesn't allow me to throw them in the brig for a few days for badmouthing an Imperial officer. Ah, the joys of playing a game that the developers forgot would be played after their own little parts of it were finished.

[Rossum]

My current character is a redguard vampire and I've found a few ironic things:



Random Passerby: Your skin is like snow, are you afraid of the sun or something?

Me: It's broad daylight and I'm black! What is your problem?!


Then I joined the companions primarily so that I can have easy access to someone to feed on. Imagine a vampire joining the companions (a group of elite warriors, some of whom are also werewolves) so that he can drink their blood as they sleep. Its actually a lot easier to feed off them than to find people sleeping at inns or feed on bandits.

Plus there's the whole thing where I kill dozens of people a day and clear out bandit camps but can't drink their blood unless they are asleep (Yeah, I could probably get Dawnguard but I don't have the money now).

Right now I'm pretty much a mage specializing in restoration (with archery and sneak... plus stuff like smithing and enchantment). I can go around during the day because my mage robes let me replenish magika and I use that to heal myself. I would make a pretty good healer if anyone asked for my services.

Also got Meridias beacon and intend to clear out the necromancer who set up shop in her shrine. Its not necessarily ironic that a vampire is helping a daedric prince who hates the undead... because I hate them too.

[Obliviongamer91]

After finishing Dawnguard, I visited the Thalmor in their castle (Sun something). I summoned Durnehviir and giggled watching them running for their miserable lives while yelling:
WE ARE THE FUTURE! WE ARE THALMOR.
Made my day.

[MidbossVyers]

My current character is a redguard vampire and I've found a few ironic things:



Random Passerby: Your skin is like snow, are you afraid of the sun or something?

Me: It's broad daylight and I'm black! What is your problem?!


Then I joined the companions primarily so that I can have easy access to someone to feed on. Imagine a vampire joining the companions (a group of elite warriors, some of whom are also werewolves) so that he can drink their blood as they sleep. Its actually a lot easier to feed off them than to find people sleeping at inns or feed on bandits.

Plus there's the whole thing where I kill dozens of people a day and clear out bandit camps but can't drink their blood unless they are asleep (Yeah, I could probably get Dawnguard but I don't have the money now).

Right now I'm pretty much a mage specializing in restoration (with archery and sneak... plus stuff like smithing and enchantment). I can go around during the day because my mage robes let me replenish magika and I use that to heal myself. I would make a pretty good healer if anyone asked for my services.

Also got Meridias beacon and intend to clear out the necromancer who set up shop in her shrine. Its not necessarily ironic that a vampire is helping a daedric prince who hates the undead... because I hate them too.

Well, in Princess Resurrection (Kaibutsu Oujo), Reiri the vampire is appalled that phoenix Prince Severin unleashed a zombie apocalypse to further his plans. Although, it does make sense as there would be less food around if there was an outbreak.

[LordSarcasm]

You're walking down Mainstreet in Whiterun in full daedric with a weapon that can absord the soul and life force and sets them on fire and carrying a box of loot you just took off of a dragon and little miss mouth shows up and spouts "I'm not afraid of you even if you are my elder!" Then you're tempted to use a fear spell or dismay shout on her.

[Peccadillo]

Here's an odd one from my PS3 version of the game, which was not an ironic purchase, just a very bad one. I encountered a Vigilant of Stendarr on the road to Winterhold, so I quickly killed him for his sweet, sweet loot. I was a necromancer, so I revived him as ironic punishment for condemning the dark arts. However, the real irony occured when we were attacked and he summoned a Flame Atronach.

[Giaomerta]

Galmar: Your words give voice to what we all feel, Ulfric. And that’s why you will be High King. But the day words are enough, will be the day when soldiers like us are no longer needed.
Ulfric: I would gladly retire from the world, were such a day to dawn.

Ulfric doesn't live up to his promise with the rise of the Dragonborn and his/her Thu'um.

[Lachdonin]

I'm running around, looking for Iron. Find a bandit camp (Heated Salts or some-such) under attack by a dragon. The Dragon notices me after a few passes, and i'm forced to shout the thing from the sky and stab it in the face.

As the dragon is being consumed by flames and i am in the process of devouring its soul, the banits run up to me screaming "I can't wait to count out your coin!".

I mean... seriously, i just slaughtered and ATE a dragon, and they still try to kill me...

[Rossum]

I mean... seriously, i just slaughtered and ATE a dragon, and they still try to kill me...

They must really want to go to Sovngarde.