Hilarious Things in MW

[Crim, The Red Thunder]

thanteros, what's your ram? I tried something similar, but i had no problems. (and i have MINIMUM ram for running morrowind GOTY on Win98) but dont crash when i did that... havent done it in a while though...

 

Try changing the threadload option in the .ini.

 

Secondly, do i assume you are trying the FPS optimizer? That could help some when moving that fast too. (granted, the screen still skips tremendously, but its better then nothing.)

 

Funny stuff... the translation for the icarian flight scroll. and here it is:

 

FROM THE EARTH TO THE AETHER...AND BACK

 

I laughed till i cried when i saw this one... (can someone make a mod which adds a book containing the daedric alphabet in-game? Alt-tabbing out to view my copy of the alphabet is rather annoying, and causes system crashes on occasion.)

Also funny is:

 

THE NINTH BARRIER CANNOT EXIST!

 

From the scroll of the ninth barrier. I have yet to find these, but the editor says there are 6 guaranteed in the game.

 

in any case, someone asked where to see the mating guars. I *THINK* its between some of the manors that lay between seyda needn, ebonheart, and suran. (it has been a *L O N G* time) And i think it is also somewhere near the fields of kummu, but i could be wrong there. Secondly, there is a quest attached, where 2 guys were seperated by said guar. Bring a spell that casts invisibility on TARGET. (not yourself.) and make sure you can cast it. There's also a book (close to the guar) that is listed as 'mating habits of the guar' dont know whats in it... wait:

 

Observations made on wild kagouti in southeastern Morrowind.

 

Kagouti do not seem to travel in large packs, as previously believed. Perhaps they group into larger packs when mating season is imminent.

 

Females seem to be dominant sex. Males will bring gifts of food in exchange for mating advantage. Males sometimes attacked.

 

Loud vocalizations heard exchanged (believed to be from males), especially at night. Fascinating.

 

Males do not seem to engage in physical confrontation for reproductive rights. Some posturing, but no conflict.

 

All kagouti display increased aggressiveness during mating. Must be careful not to be seen.

 

Mating kagouti found to be increasingly territorial.

 

 

This is the only one i can seem to locate about mating animals... i dont think it's horny guar, i think its horny kagouti. So the horn is what enters the rear. Huh... i learned something today.

Note that there is no human around and neither of the quest related people are related to the book. Guess what happened to the writer!

 

And someone mentioned that Daerirs miracle looked like a bulleted list? It's a poem. Heres the translation.

 

Miracle of Daerir

 

Ride the storms, lest they ride thee.

Consume the red sands, lest they consume thee

By the one from the dark waters

By the one who was first in the deep waters

By my will I cleanse myself of the red sands.

 

The quest at the Gateway inn is pretty good to. The note you are given is hilarious. I have sent notes to dumba** people like this before... stupid people too... no common sense. Anyway, here's the note:

 

*Certification of Ghost-Free Hospitality *

 

By Authority of the Super Extra Very Sovereign Council of Mages Without Digits Within Bowels

 

Hereas the Gateway Inn and all its dark and secret places have been found to be completely free of spooks, boojums, snarks, spectral goats, revenant toiletries, or cannibal vampire anchovies,

 

Muthsera Mistress Dunmer-from-Far-Away Mage-Lady, Lord High Inspector of Hostelry for the Town of Sadrith Mora aforesaid, does pronounce the Gateway Inn free and clean of all otherworldly, hostile, and malign entities, with the exception of the profound and displeasing odor that arises from the Prefect of Hospitality, which, despite the preternatural magnitude of its offensiveness, may well derive from altogether more mundane sources.

 

Signed,

 

Muthsera Mistress Dunmer-from-Far-Away Mage-Lady

Representing the Super Extra Very Sovereign Council of Mages Without Digits Within Bowels

 

 

I also started signing my name like that on EVERYTHING I WRITE. EVERYTHING.

[NinjaSalad]

There was this time I was in a tomb and I was fighting this guy, and when I hit him he went flying accrose the room while laying on the ground.

 

Has this ever happened to any one else?

[Crim, The Red Thunder]

Huh... i had something similar happen once, i died, and when they cut out to 3rd person view, my body hit the ground, and the shalk that killed me as well as my dead body started heading towards the south, my body outracing the shalk, but the shalk most definitely following it! Weird.... i geuss it was hungry!

 

Got Orc?

[Jenlyn Fayre]

LOL!! These are great posts, everyone! Keep them coming! I had no idea so many funny things were in MW!

[NinjaSalad]

I once made a spell will all the elimental damage and weakness to them all in one spell will an area of 50, I was able to drop like 14 people with one shot, looked very cool

[Gabbemaster]

Once when I was in an ancestral-tomb, I stood near a pillar, and fought a Skeleton using hand to hand combat. But the funny thing is, that when i turned the

camera-angle to the left, it zoomed in so that the pillar wouldent be in the way. And that resulted in a verry funny scen, when my carracter was looking at me, and still fighting in hand to hand combat, but not against the skelleton, against the computer-screen.

 

It looked verry funny :D

[Crim, The Red Thunder]

Ninjasalad, What magnitude? A 1-50 spell for all elemnts + raw magick (damage health) on target costs 98 MP, and a 100 skill in destruction still wont let you cast it with 100 success... just 90 something...

 

Not so much funny as it is strange: A skeleton always falls to IT'S LEFT, regardless of which attack you used. Furthermore, if you use the slash attack (cut across the middle) which moves from the SKELETONS LEFT to the SKELETONS RIGHT, he should fall to his right (away from the blow), but he falls to the left instead (falling further into your sword... stupid idiot!)

[Abramul]

If you use a Drain Health spell to kill a Bonelord, the robe stays intact.

 

And someone mentioned that Daerirs miracle looked like a bulleted list? It's a poem.

OK, taught myself Daedric. For some reason, the Daedric Y doesn't seem to have a character, but it does have a blank space...problem with the font?

 

Most scrolls simply say "WOE UPON YOU"...might be UNTO, though.

 

P.S. It's upon, but there's also an exclamation mark at the end. Missing in-game, though

[Crim, The Red Thunder]

here's a link to answer that question. Or you can just read the excerpts of what i put here. But if you follow the link, then you can get ahold of the FULL alphabet, including the missing 2 letters.

 

Daedric Alphabet

 

hope that helps. And for those who cant reach it, here:

 

This set of letters has first appeared in TESL: Battlespire, circa 1997. In Battlespire, it was a major gameplay feature and possibly a copy protection device, too. Since the celestial academy of Battlespire was taken over by Daedra, the font was dubbed "Daedric" in the Battlespire manual. However, in TES: Morrowind this font is widely used throughout the game by locals (Dark Elves, that is) - it's not exclusively Daedric anymore. In TESA: Redguard there was (to my knowledge) only one instance of Daedric usage, in the spellbook in N'Gasta the necromancer's laboratory.

 

The Daedric font for Windows (in TrueType format) was put together by Scribe of Black Marsh. This font is also available on the Morrowind CD, and on numerous Morrowind sites as well.

 

(refers to the font included with morrowind, which it uses in order to do it's scrolls and such.)

 

Another set of fonts for this script has been composed recently by a fan called Dongle, and it's called "Oblivion". It comes in several versions, features the "X" and "Y" letter, and contains punctuation marks, unlike the "Daedric" font.

 

(This refers to a font available for download on the site, and the guy who did these is more or less right. Smarter then Bethesda anyway.)

 

The "XY" saga

The story is complicated here. The Battlespire manual didn't have these two letters. The "Daedric Runes" font, consequently, did not feature these two either. In the initial version of this very page, "X" and "Y" were omitted as well, with an appropriate disclaimer. Ken Rolston of Bethesda once said: "The missing 'x' and 'y' were, I think, a mistake we decided to perpetuate."

 

Bethesda's internal version of the Daedric font contains both "X" and "Y", apparently. It's just that they've decided to include the fan-made font on the Morrowind CD instead. No one knows if the internal font will ever be released as it is. After some research, Qwerty (and not only him) have divined the look of "Y" from the game, from the banner that hangs outside the tower of Tel Fyr:

 

[missing space to remove an image on the sight... probably should see the pic though...]

 

To the best of my knowledge, there are no instances of "X" usage in either of the Elder Scrolls games.

 

Help came from Gary "GT" Noonan of Bethesda. He sent Dongle the Fontwright an image with the whole Daedric alphabet, X and Y included. There was one little issue though. The alphabet was somewhat incompatible with the version of the letters that was formerly deemed official. For example, the new "D" was a mirror image of the old one, "H" lacked a prominent stroke on the right, "J" was a mirror image, too, and lacked its flat top, and the letter "Y" looked nowhere like the one on the Tel Fyr banner. Despite these discrepancies, Dongle went ahead and updated his "Oblivion" font with the newfound "X", and Tel Fyr version of "Y". This is what we feature here, in the chart above.

 

We tried to contact Dongle with this issue, and here his reply:

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Yep, I did all those changes on purpose.

 

For my original Oblivion I based it solely off the banners in Vvardenfell. You may consider it a regional writing style, if you like. One of the devs even explained it as such. In Morrowind it's a publicly known lettering style, vs the secret cipher used in Battlespire. Adam Pyle's font was based on the cipher, mine's based on the Vvardenfell style. Note that neither are related to the Daedra Princes, so calling it Daedric is probably just tradition.

 

I literally spent weeks collecting every banner texture, or anything I could find with lettering, from the game CD. The letters "D" and "J" on the island of Vvardenfell are always a mirror image of the Battlespire ones. "H" is always missing that middle extension, "U" is always more rounded at the bottom. I reproduced that faithfully in my font.

 

Here's a couple of banners to illustrate what I mean:

 

[another pic, with an ingame banner including the 'strange' letters.]

 

 

 

 

==+=+++=+=++=

 

and that's about it. If you want to learn a lot more about the daedric alphabet, and get LARGE pictures of the alphabet, drop by the site. Save it. Use it for reference, till i can make an in-game book that 'teaches' daedric. (you still have to memorize it yourself though :P )

 

And if you get the 'new' font available on the site, i think you can also alter the files in the editor to use it, so it would include punctuation, and the missing letters.

[Abramul]

Ummm, I already memorized it. Took 10 minutes, fortunately the previous owner of my map had seen fit to write in the names of the various Daedric ruins. Also, my system font is now set to Oblivion. Excellent way to improve retention.

 

Anyhoo, you can lead a Frost Atronach to lava, but you can't make it melt.