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For the guys! Legitimate or illegitimate sons! What our fathers didn't tells us.

pre-marital sex pre-nuptual sex marital sex sex and more what to do sex and more what not to do

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#11
Pagafyr

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My experience was trying out for a boys quire , and my voice cracked during it.

 

I used to sing all the time before the change ... then didn't again for 20 years ... ?

 

I played other instruments though ... trumpet , guitar , drums ,then mostly bass .

 

The first sign of becoming a man, the voice cracks.  Ah choir!  I got dropped from the school singing group when my voice changed too.  I panicked though, I thought I had a bad cold in the throat.

 

Ah ha ... "Choir"  I knew it didn't look right , thanks for the correction.

 

Did you play in the school band?  Or start up a band outside of school?

 

I played trumpet from 6th to 8th grade in the school band.  And the band teacher asked who wanted to try out for a boys choir ... so I gave it a shot since I had done some singing in church and school plays , plus quite a bit of singing with my mom and she would play the piano.

And honestly I don't remember my voice cracking during that try out ( which was just me and the teacher)

But this kid who was sort of a bully to me through those years ... mentioned it later cuz he had been hanging out side the band room door.  Making fun of the way my voice cracked.

 

That episode didn't really bother me though , at least It's not an episode I was traumatized over.

Not like using the toilet stall in the boys room at school , then other boys coming in and harassing for it.

Needless to say , 40+ years later , I still avoid using public toilet stalls.

 

But anyways , I also quit playing the trumpet then , and started playing guitar , because I was getting into heavy metal music , drugs / alcohol and growing my hair long.  Couple years later I switched to bass then started playing in garage bands.

 

 

What I wish I would have been told as a teenager , would be to take care of my body.

Work smarter not harder.  I got into construction trades , and treated my body like a fork lift.

Doing the He man thing .  And my dad had sort of demanded it of me.

Took me till my late 30's to realize the damage I was doing.  But it was to late by then , plus old habits are hard to break.  Needless to say , I ended up needing back surgery by mid 40's.

 

 

My talents were suppressed by already established older siblings and elders.

 

I would dearly love to be able to go back to age 11, or 12, and retain my current knowledgebase........ There are a LOT of things I would do different. :D

 

I broke the mold I was pushed into when I learned to build the mod I shared.  I wouldn't have uploaded it if I even began to think as though it were ungodly to still think and do as we desire or may.  I recommend you find any of your talent you wished you could change if you were only 11 or 12 and do something with it now.

 

I don't know if you will have any idea of how scared I was when I was preparing to share the mod I built.  I think my inner fears were partially why I failed to be able to share it in 2004.  Since then, I must have exorcised my fear of Mom and/or Dad insisting on me showing them my work before they would even let me share it at school, much less then with the world.  The way I sensed the older children and the attitude they shared made it clear they didn't want a black mark on their ghostly white perfectly clean clothes.  Even before I was old enough to color inside the lines I was trained not to upset them.  



#12
Skagens

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Sex.

 

Males behavior according to your own opinion and what civilization has drummed into your heads concerning today's, not the past's, today's man's real responsibilities when it involves sex with a woman?

 

If I died in battle and before I went off to war I had a wife and she gave birth to my son???  And you were his grandfather, uncle, male cousin, step-father, or a man helping out while his mother did her best...

 

What would you tell my first born son about his strange new sensations and thoughts when his sex drive begins to interrupt his daily thinking?

 

Interesting. I'm not quite sure. If he grew up in this time, I'm not sure I would say anything. Youths today read so much and learn so much from social media nowadays. And as far as I've understood it, everyone watches porn, even though porn alone is not a realistic sense of how normal sex is conducted. It's a tricky question, I suppose I would have a conversation with the mother beforehand and perhaps both of us would sit down and basically let the boy ask anything, nothing hold back, anything at all related to sex or biology in general. I think a complete openness and being clear that there would be no judgement whatsoever would help the boy feel more at ease.

 

Or!  What would you tell your first born son about his strange new sensations and thoughts when his sex drive begins to interrupt his daily thinking?

 

I hadn't realized I may end up asking myself this very question in a few years.

 

Again, I'm not quite sure. My own fathers strategy was to avoid the question altogether and just leave me be. I suppose it worked, I have yet to make some poor girl pregnant (to my knowledge). Perhaps the same thing I'd have done with your boy. The mother and I sit him down, let him know there will be no judgement no matter what is asked or discussed, and be completely open. Let him know whatever is happening is completely normal and it's nothing to be shameful about.



#13
Pagafyr

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Sharing and gaining the trust of another man's son to get them to open up and ask a stranger for advice, even in their mothers company, is something I would think might be a problem too.  Your approach is sound though.  I am very tough about what I give freely, wisdom must be sought or giving it up tends to be howling into the wind.

 

If you're inclined to wonder to gain insights, like I did, those you do get to open up, and share with, will be fortunate to have received your wisdom. 

May your own life be filled with the joy of having a family and being able to be together through thick and thin.

 

Thx.  



#14
Mktavish

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I guess the pertinent time to discuss it would be when they start having hard on's for no reason in class.   That is the apex of embarrassment imo.

Of which the easiest way to broach that subject would be just to blurt it out {tactifully} 

Then pass it off as "no worries" like I said ...

 

I try at every juncture to pass along what I view as wisdom I have learnedIt's never a wasted efffort @%$!

 

What I have found is more important than the information you are trying to convey ...

Is the tone in which you convey it . At least give them a better chance of actually listening for possible absorption.



#15
Pagafyr

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Good.

 

My apologies for my posting a bit more confusion.  I have become aware of a tooth that has been, like a slow heated pot of water to cook a lobster in, I never realized the pain I was slowly getting distracted by until yesterday when the tooth literally sank down when I bit down.  I am receiving care for today.  I was told at the emergency room to get to a dentist today.

 

Wouldn't you know it.  It seems to be just my luck, with dentists.  It's Washington's Birthday and all the Dentist offices are close.

 

I am going to take a knock out pain pill now.  I've been able to bare the pain a bit longer after taking the Antibiotics to see if it would reduce the swelling gums too.

 

The discovery that I won't see a dentist, and might not even get the work done the same day, because of dentist's protocol in the U. S. of A, I am taking one of these knock out pain pills so I can get a good nights rest.

 

I hope I can function by morning, enough, so I can get to the dentist to see what they will decide.  Will I get it done when I go to the office because it's an emergency, or, have to go with getting X-Rays and then another appointment. 

 

I only got enough of these Knock out Pain pills to last me for one or two day if I need to take more a day.  Seven days if they are potent enough to set my level of comfort back to acceptable.



#16
Mktavish

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Ouch ! your tooth sank ?  That doesn't sound good !  Never had mine do that before ... they just raised up throwing my bite off due to gums swelling.  Which I have had 2 molars pulled since it was that or a root canal.

But speaking of teeth and wisdom ... I just lost my first wisdom tooth a few weeks ago.

Upper right , which had been loosening and tightening for a few years.

And I guess caused me to get periodontitis .  Which the second dentists I had been going to said I should get it pulled.  But the previous dentist I had gone to , put a filling in it.   So I wanted to keep it.  After 2 courses of antibiotics ... the tooth just fell out on it's own.  And luckily the hole closed up on it's own in just over 24 hours.

 

So I have been kind of wondering ( tongue in cheek ... lol )  Do you get wisdom from those wisdom teeth being in , or when you lose them ?

Did I just lose 1/4 of my wisdom , or have I been dumb as rocks for more than 2 decades having all 4 in ... to finally gain my first quarter of wisdom at nearly a 1/2 century of age ?



#17
Pagafyr

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So I have been kind of wondering ( tongue in cheek ... lol )  Do you get wisdom from those wisdom teeth being in , or when you lose them ?

Did I just lose 1/4 of my wisdom , or have I been dumb as rocks for more than 2 decades having all 4 in ... to finally gain my first quarter of wisdom at nearly a 1/2 century of age ?

 

Hmm?  :hurr:  Between waves of the audio wa wa effect,  o_O with rumbling because the flow of blood vessels being squeezed nearest to the ear become unblocked when opening the mouth to yawn;  :blush:  the wise dome teeth arg best in then, they resonate making it so we would can hear what we say better, to allow us to realize what we say next could become the old foot in our mouth.  Giving us better hearing when we talk, and probably better hearing so we can hear our conscious advising us not to lie to the Blue Fairy, and finally, the more of the wisdom teeth we have makes for better chewing on leafy products when we have to eat rabbit food  :yucky:  until we are well again.   

 

Of course, when I think about it, if they made us wise being in why did we forget to keep them spotless, flossed, and rinse with salt water twice a day making it so they fell out?    :wallbash:

 

I have to take another fever reducing pill with pain reliever stuff in it so I ddddaaaaaaddfa tart ffflaggging an d make mis steaks tiyppinng  :yucky:

:tongue: l






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