My character is a Xivilai (added from Race Balancing Project) named Baphomet (as in that goat beast). He has horns and white hair, green skin and red eyes. He was thrown in jail for peeing on a guard. The guard got angry, threw him in jail and later killed himself because his wife left him because he smelled bad. His wife later joined the Mystic Dawn and was named Else God-Hater, of all people. Before that whole urine trouble, Baphomet was accidentally conjured into Mundus by Annoying Fan's twin brother who really didn't know what he was doing. Probably tried to summon a Daedra Seducer and spelled something wrong or something. Baphomet, being the Xivilai he is, merely kicked the kid in the balls and stole his collection of wine... which he later got drunk off of and ended up peeing on Kermit God-Hater (Else's former husband, she divorced him because he smelled bad. Not because of the Xivilai whizz, because he always smelled bad) Somehow Emperor Uriel Septim VII had a dream about this Xivilai that led to the old dude handing him a nice red amulet and telling him to go give it to Jeffrey or whatever in some Weener Priory. Baphomet doesn't really have a good memory and didn't remember to write what Uriel told him down onto his Journal. He also never bothered going to Kvatch to see what the fuss was about and really would prefer walking around the countryside shooting at deer with his bow and drinking excessive amounts of beer, wine, ale, mead, or anything. He moved into the Imperial City Waterfront district and paled around, drunk, with his neighbor Armand Christophe and later joined whatever guild or club or whatnot he was running after handing him a book from some poor fellow whose house he broke into and murdered in order to steal some more wine or beer or whatever. So his most recent hobby is punching anyone in the face that calls him "Dunmer" or "Ash-born". This often leads to scuffles with the guards, who end up wondering why the hell they turn up naked and why their criminal suddenly has no bounty (lol... console commands). This character is also enjoying a second play through of the Integration mod, mainly because he hopes to eventually find another Daedric chick to lock horns with... because Apronice, my previous character, screwed that up and ended up drinking so much wine and skooma in despair that he found himself flying off of Dive Rock at 900 miles per hour and died when he hit the north wall of Cheydinhal. He died many times before, but this time was absolutely hilarious and had to be his final end. My previous characters that frolicked in the realm of Cyrodiil include Apronice - the most pale of pale white albino Altmers around, Arlia, a female Argonian whose statue of heroism in Bruma ended up depicting her naked while holding the Fork of Horippilation and some other dude whose name I forget, a male Argonian that represented my first play through of the game.
