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Darksun45230

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Status Replies posted by Darksun45230

  1. Darksun45230
    Ever since my squire was beheaded in combat, I was shocked to learn that flashy pectorals no longer win engagements! What sorcery is this? After much internal debate, I shall seek a legendary smith to forge a legendary weapon worthy of my reputation.
    1. Darksun45230

      Darksun45230

      My trek through the wastelands was met with a cheery pack of Coyotes. After fashioning a pelt out of their hides, I sought a healer for my exposed organs -- finally coming across an old Shaman woman. The last thing I remember was sipping her delicious tea. When I awoke, I was working in a brothel. Will update after I stop crying.

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  2. Darksun45230
    Ever since my squire was beheaded in combat, I was shocked to learn that flashy pectorals no longer win engagements! What sorcery is this? After much internal debate, I shall seek a legendary smith to forge a legendary weapon worthy of my reputation.
    1. Darksun45230

      Darksun45230

      Escaped my imprisonment after the town I was arrested in mysteriously burned down. The arsonist was described as manly, shirtless and bald. Surely this handsome rogue must have realized that the noose displayed over his cell was meant for him.

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  3. Darksun45230
    Ever since my squire was beheaded in combat, I was shocked to learn that flashy pectorals no longer win engagements! What sorcery is this? After much internal debate, I shall seek a legendary smith to forge a legendary weapon worthy of my reputation.
    1. Darksun45230

      Darksun45230

      Once I explained the constable that horseshoes I borrowed were needed to forge my legendary weapon, he allowed me to search his cells for more materials. Oddly, when I tried to leave the lock had jammed. I shouted for aid, yet my pleas were not heard. Will update when I secure my escape.

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  4. Darksun45230
    Ever since my squire was beheaded in combat, I was shocked to learn that flashy pectorals no longer win engagements! What sorcery is this? After much internal debate, I shall seek a legendary smith to forge a legendary weapon worthy of my reputation.
    1. Darksun45230

      Darksun45230

      In my adventures, I chanced upon a fisherman village wherest a man is rumored to make weapons of great might. Sadly, this man is actually a horse and what he smiths can't be wield before crumbling betwixt my magnificent fingers. Gross.

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  5. Darksun45230
    Flashes my petorals at lovely hostesses as they pour mead. Surely, this is the night I find the courage to approach one of them.
    1. Darksun45230

      Darksun45230

      Alas, as I bed the Maiden I realize she not a woman, but a scarecrow made from straw wearing a second-hand dress. Zero f*#@s given.

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  6. Darksun45230
    Flashes my petorals at lovely hostesses as they pour mead. Surely, this is the night I find the courage to approach one of them.
    1. Darksun45230

      Darksun45230

      After a trying many-a-trials on treasonous trails tonight I shall bed the illustrious Hydrian the Appalling for twenty gold ingots. A steal compared to the fifteen hundred Leshian the Mildly-Attractive asked for!

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  7. Darksun45230
    Flashes my petorals at lovely hostesses as they pour mead. Surely, this is the night I find the courage to approach one of them.
    1. Darksun45230

      Darksun45230

      Moore the Clunky has volunteers a ballad in my honor! With a name like that, I am sure my name will spread through the land like wildfire!

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  8. Darksun45230
    Flashes my petorals at lovely hostesses as they pour mead. Surely, this is the night I find the courage to approach one of them.
    1. Darksun45230

      Darksun45230

      Sleeping with the stallions tonight after learning from a local shaman that being around horse hair will grow mine back. Bronzed fingers crossed!

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  9. Darksun45230
    Flashes my petorals at lovely hostesses as they pour mead. Surely, this is the night I find the courage to approach one of them.
    1. Darksun45230

      Darksun45230

      Alas, my hand groped her thigh by mishap and I walked away with another welt on the side of my chiseled chin.

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

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