Chunky_Moose

*Throws a snowball at anyone who's active here*

My char was jailed for being an accessory to murder since he was Jiub (the Cut-throat)'s best friend...

Oh, that might just be the Annoyingly On-fire Snowballs of Burningness

Well, backtracking a bit. It was probably the Evil Randomly Exploding Ostriches of Doom that destroyed the previous almost sane line of RP...

"Cheers!" Hits Sogenda with a very large hammer that can't actually miss

"Ow, *censored*!" Has-Big-Axe exclaims, "That hurt!" Has-Big-Axe then went on to punch Sogenda in the jaw

Putting on his camo, Has-Big-Axe cleaned the scope on his rifle. He loaded and cocked it. *CLICK CLICK* Peering down the scope, he could see the distant figure of covenant2 wielding some an AT-4. Has-Big-Axe breathed out and squeezed the trigger, the rifle kicked but the bullet flew true, through covenant2's forehead. Has-Big-Axe ejected the casing and another round smoothly clicked into the chamber. He waited for covenant2 to reincarnate himself in some way.

...but he quickly runs back to the registry office to get his name changed back to Has-Big-Axe because it sounds better. He throws a snowball at Iluvarin on the way back.

(That last post was me, sorry forgot to log in)

Has-Big-Axe wandered through the infinite empty expanses of space wandering what his mysterious masters would try next. He watched an unusually shaped fortress get built, get demolished but then get rebuilt. He wandered towards the gigantic pair of scissors stuck in a dog turd, all made entire from snow. Time and Space, aware that their Argonian plaything would have multiple lightyears to travel to reach the fortress, zoomed him towards it and within seconds he was there and knocking on the great snow gate. It crumbled slightly as he knocked at it. "Hello? Is anyone home?"

Has-Big-Axe's mysterious masters, Time and Space were at work once again to entertain themselves with their little Argonian plaything. Space whirled around the disorientated Argonian and suddenly he found himself alone in the middle of space, somehow able to survive in the freezing emptiness and he looked around. The mysterious masters has done this to their plaything many a time before and Has-Big-Axe sighed. "What now?" He watches as a Blessed Uber Cow of Speed zips past him and blasts a distant planet with its snowzooka. Has-Big-Axe sighed again, Blessed Uber Cows of Speed were a sure sign that his mysterious masters were really having fun. Any more, and the masters would be lending their powers to mere mortals soon. Trapped in his bubble of space and time, the Argonian watched the creation of a certain galaxy, a certain star, a certain solar system, a certain planet and wathced in dismay as the inhabitants of the planet bowed down and worshipped a...Bosmer? and a...Breton? Has-Big-Axe sighed again, he mentally went over how the masters had fun 'whirly space, huge battle, blessed ubercow of speed, lending mortals power...' he paused as he had forgotten the next one... "OH *censored*!!' The Argonian shouted when he remembered..."Not the Randomly Exploding Snow Ostriches of Doom..." The Argonian dejectedly walked around through the emptiness of space, a feat that somehow his mysterious masters had granted him the ability to perform. An ostrich made from entirely snow walked out infront of Has-Big-Axe. "Hiya" it said. On its forehead was a number. It changed constantly to being a completely different random number. The Argonian looked up at it and replied, "Hi, how are things?" The ostrich opened its beak to reply but suddenly the number on its head changed to 0. "Uh-oh" said the ostrich and it exploded in a shower of snow. Has-Big-Axe walked on in his gloomy mood, multitudes of the ostriches were appearing everywhere as far as he could see, multitudes of explosions too.

Time and Space were obviously giving there favourite Argonian plaything no respite and a huge yellow conjured snowball hit him full force in the side of the face. "OW!" he said, "Whoever threw that is going to get one right back at them!" With that, he scooped up a large ball of the suddenly appearing snow infront of him and liquidly went to the toilet on it. "Right then, who threw that?"

Has-Big-Axe's mysteriously cruel but nevertheless helpful and useful allies, Time and Space observed the hurting of their Argonian plaything from the nothingness in which they resided. Allowing the strangest things to happen to their plaything also involved protecting him from getting hurt or killed. This time around, this involved million upon millions of explosive snowballs. They suddenly and without warning hurtled through Space and destroyed the pathetically weakly built ion thingys - Time and Space are entities beyond mere technology so they do not care to understand it. The snowballs also surrounded the red, gooey mess left behind by the death of Elwe and encased it in ice so that his remains will drift through space for the rest of Time's life and serve as a warning for hurting the playthings of Dimensions. Has-Big-Axe meanwhile, safe from the ion thingys -he's Argonian, lizards aren't known for their amazing grasp of technology- looked for more food and beer. "We've run out!" he said, slightly irritated

OOC: Yes yes yes, let's all take the mick out of the English language until we have to use it for something useful...not that anyone ever does... IC: The Argonian suddenly stopped munching on the food. "My name's Has-Big-Axe? What's yours? Take your time to reply if you want" Saying that, he immediately returns to the beer and crisps, almost biting Mojlnir's hand - but just preventing himself from doing so - as Mojlnir brought more crisps. The Argonian had by now accelerated his eating to such a speed that his armour (OOC: yes daedric stuff, look at the RP place to find out what other stuff i happen to carrying) was visibly bulging and increasing in size. Suddenly and without warning, the supply of food and beer ran out. Has-Big-Axe screamed, "NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The mysterious forces, unable to grant that wish, give him a small consolation. Has-Big-Axe the Argonian - OOC: who looks nothing like a moose!!!! - suddenly appears a by his side. "Hi" he says before rushing straight at the beer and crisps and gorging himself on it. As a disembodied with at least some decency and manners, i will spare you the gruesome details of how several pounds of crisps and many gallons of beer were consumed by a shortish and slight of figure Argonian in a matter of seconds. EDIT: OOC: Oh and btw, the plural of moose is moose...not meese (ha, don't be silly)

OOC: I'm actually RPing an Argonian... IC: Swiftly asphyxiating in the vacuum of space, the Argonian suddenly finds himself in yet another metal-lined corridor. "Oh, i'm getting sick of these corridors now" Before his thought had time to come to a rational conclusion, he was interrupted by an extremly bored looking robot, "Hi, I'm Marvin" it said, "I rescued you because i had nothing to do, could you please kill me now?"

Munching away at the banana walls, Has-Big-Axe suddenly finds himself munching through the outer hull of the ship. "Oh *censored*"

OOC: Looks at the spyhole where Peregrine would normally look through... Hi there! Well? Pretty please? Can we start a thread in The Wilderness that is just a kind of go around exploring RP instead of a tightly storylined RP?

OOC: Peregrine, *quitely whispering 'be-in-a-good-mood-be-in-a-good-mood-be-in-a-good-mood' over and over again* We are going to leave the tavern now. If somebody else appears, they can RP in the tavern but we are going to be outside of it. I hope that's ok IC: "I understand you wish to see your son. I have never had children myself but i think i can understand you" Has-Big-Axe tried to look empathically at Elsuch (OOC: sorry i keep spelling ur name wrong but i dunno the alt-codes for those accents) but unconciously, his eyes kept darting to the staff lying on the table. "Anyway, let us proceed, you lead the way...i'll carry the staff, i don't want it tainting you too"

The mystical forces, bridging the void in space bring a voice to Has-Big-Axe. Has-Big-Axe, finding his way to around the deck that he is on briefly notices the pink flying shape of a Blessed Cow of Uber Speed whizz past him. Himself having depended upon these divine creatures several times in the past, waves to it as it flies past and blows a kiss. The mystical words of "Get a life" appear suddenly in his mind and he feels the blow of a divine slap. Because of the slap's divine nature, it was forceful enough to send Has-Big-Axe flying sideways and into...wait, no...through a wall. Having recovered his senses after several minutes of lying dazed, he notices that the walls are made from soft banana flesh. Realising that he hasn't eaten for days, he takes a bite from the wall that he was just hurled through. 'Hmmm, tasty' he thought, 'better than those silly bananas in that Universe of...' His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden huge explosion.

Has-Big-Axe listened intently to the tale and silently nodded. He looked down slowly to his hands. He kept his eyes closed until his hands were directly infront of his face and opened his eyes. He cried out loudly and fell to the ground in terror. Red runes, still faint but growing brighter were clearly visible on his hands. He held his hands closer to the staff and the runes on both hand and staff glowed fiercely. He picked up the staff, giving him a momentary feeling of immense power, and hurled it through an open window. He sat down in his chair and glanced at Elsuch, "Problem solved" Seconds later however, Has-Big-Axe clutched his head and collapsed to the floor groaning. After a few more seconds of writhing on the floor, he suddenly jumped out through the window and moments later came back in through the door with staff in hand. He looked defeated and placed the staff back down on the table. He sat down, leant back in his chair and drank heavily. "It looks like that we shall have to destroy this staff...or myself...or both..."

OOC: Amber, i understand you but some eloquence would be appreciated...Also, Fishystick, Has-Big-Axe is the real name, i explain how i got it somewhere, i think it might be in the introductions thread... IC: Has-Big-Axe took the the drink and sipped from it before attempting to explain to Elsuch the feeling of touching an evil artifact. "It felt..." he trailed off as he looked at the palms of his gauntlets. An imprint of the runed staff had been silently and magically burnt into his gauntlets. Certain runes glowed a dark red colour, the same colour as the staff. Has-Big-Axe sat looking at his gauntlets in horror. He got his drink and spilled it all over his gauntlets in an attempt to wash off the daedric runes from the daedra scale gauntlets but the imprint did not fade at all but grew deeper. He held his hands up infront of his face and watched as the glowing grew faintly but visibly brighter. He ripped his gauntlets off and threw them onto the table next to the staff. He watched as soon, the runes covered the whole of both the gauntlets and glowed brighter than on the staff. Then, to the horror of them both, the hard black scales of the gauntlet softened and started peeling and releasing a fine red mist.

Has-Big-Axe looked at the staff in horror and rose to his feet. "So you do still have it!" he said shocked. He leant closer to the staff and looked at the finely carved runes on its aged wooden surface. The staff still had a faint glow that emanated from it just as Has-Big-Axe remembered and he stared at the staff, transfixed to the spot by his curiosity and fear. Finally, his curiosity overcoming his fear, the Argonian picked up the staff and held it in both his hands. He passed his hands over the rune-covered texture of the staff. He took a step back and closed his eyes and let himself sense the huge enchantment that the staff bore. Suddenly, Has-Big-Axe made a violent swing with the staff through vacant air but beneath the table a rat erupted in flames and its charred corpse fell against Elsuch's feet. Elsuch looked shocked but Has-Big-Axe calmed him and unslung his axe. He cut the dead rat into pieces with his axe before slinging it back onto his back. He then took up the staff again and gently tapped one of the halves of the rat's head. Has-Big-Axe and Elsuch looked on in horror as the charred pieces of rat magically joined back together. The blackened rat stood up on its legs and shook itself and a layer of soot fell from it revealing its dirty grey fur and then it scurried off into the darkness of the tavern. Has-Big-Axe, trembling with fear, put the staff back down on the table. "I didn't think that i could do it" he said in a quavering voice, "I am not a mighty necromancer but...but..." Has-Big-Axe trailed off and collapsed into a chair.

OOC: Don't worry about your spelling, as long as its intelligible. IC: Has-Big-Axe returned the hug and sat down with his sujamma. "We really underestimated that necromancer didn't we?" he said smiling and shaking his head, "Crawling through his sewers and dungeons was bad enough, but reaching the inside of his castle..." He trailed off and his smile disappeared, "Friend, do you remember the horrors that he created? The horrors that we faced and defeated?" the Argonian's face took on an even graver look and he said frowning to Elsuch, "The staff. The enchanted staff. The enchanted staff that caused the Scar. Did you take it? Do you still have it? Or was it...um...what's her name....er...the Bosmer maid, the one that helped you carry me to the dwarven healer that took it?" OOC: Sorry if that is a bit hard to read through.....

OOC: Plz do remember me, i will 'freshen up ur memory' to help you along IC: Has-Big-Axe stared at the Bosmer in silence for a moment. Then the Argonian began to slowly remove - with difficulty - the heavy plates of his cuirass until he could place the whole thing on the ground. He then removed his shirt and turned around to reveal the Scar on his back. It was more than just a normal scar though, which the Argonian had many of. This one was quite obviously orginally a gaping hole that had healed with the aid of powerful magic as well as ancient dwarven machines. Small spheres of yellow metal were visible in the Scar, barely covered by thin layers of scales. "You were with me when we fought him. Do you not remember still? We killed him together! Can your drunken Bosmer mind not find the strength to remember?" OOC: Yes, i am being ridiculously vague but you ca develop it.