Anyone have friends that purposely strike u where u hurt most? A few people claimed i dont care about them, that i drain sanity and how thats why my ex left me, why he hates me. Truth is.... I care for all my friends deeply. Being filled with emotions all the time: love, anger, loss, depression. Emotions are irrational and that is insane to the logical mind. Even though they hurt me, I still love them, even my enemies and my ex. For the first time in a long time, I...love who I am. I can finally forgive all those old grudges I had against my family. I am James, I suffer from Autism/Aspergers, and I refuse to be told what or how I feel. I have been told today by a friend I trust deeply that I am full of love, and that is the source of my misery. He is right. I am full of love and I am miserable. I screwed up in the past, but... I wouldn't change it, for it has made me realize the importance of what I had, and what I have left. I am sorry to those I have hurt on this road, be it of accident or design. I am sorry to those I have lied to and hurt deeply. Sorry, I had to rant. Now....now I feel better.