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I wonder now when things went so wrong... when I became the mother from hell and deserved the hatred and disrespect of my elder children. It must have happened during one of the many times I gave up my career for them, my hopes and dreams of a future bright with promise, love and laughter. I tried my best, but it seems that it was not good enough and never will be, not for them and not for my parents. I begin to believe it is too late and that there is nothing more for me to do but move on...
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I guess you're right. Thing is I've changed so much. I was so strong and had a very good career, then in 2005 things changed and so did I. I'm now agoraphobic and my memory's the size of a flea. I'm getting better day by day but sometimes for every step forward there's two backwards and its frustrating for me as well as for them.
I love them unconditionally and I know, deep down they do too, it must be frustrating to see me so different and at times, so weak...