ov3rwhelming Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Ok, I know this isn't really the best place to put this, but it's the only forum I belong to. I have known this girl for over 2 years, she came in the middle of my freshmen year in high school. In the beginning, I didn't have any feelings for her, but during sophomore year, she had something really bad happen to her (which she still hasn't told me), and she did something stupid as a result. The entire school was giving her a hard time about it, and I really felt bad for her. I felt she needed someone on her side, to let her know it was all going to be ok, you know what I mean? Well, at first, I was just a shoulder for her when she needed one, and all that, but as time went on, I developed stronger feelings for her. She has told me herself that she really needs me around to give her support. After a while, I finally manned up and told her how I felt. At the time, she told me that she did like me, but couldn't date me or anything because she had feelings for a different guy (who didn't share them with her). However, we continued to talk and everything, and she started saying things like I love you, and things like that more and more often, and when I spoke to her on the phone, she giggles and laughs more than called for. Now, she asked me to call her, and made me promise that I would before she would leave me alone. Judging by her more recent behavior, I think she might like me back, but I'm not sure. Any help would be much appreciated. Girls are complicated :confused: . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michlo Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 No. No. No. Stay friends only. She has problems to work out before she will be healthy for YOU. Right now you are a crutch in her life. I know it sounds cold but this is not a good situation. You can be her friend but if you take it further, I assure you, you are asking for trouble and hurt. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philosopher101 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Most women i have known, were convinced that lightning would strike and they would find their perfect man. Well as far i known from the times i have had in realtionships, soul mates don't exsist. At least not in a cinderella - prince charming kind of way. Watch any sitcom and you will see the secrect to true love is a host of arguments, and a positve lets try again attitude. I don't want to seem as if this couldn't possibly work, for it could i only wish for you to be carefull, less though be castrated. On the brighter side consider the following... (don't tell us think first) Why do you like her?How does she feel about soul-mates or true-love?Have you actually done something with her? a school project? a movie? a concert?Is she worth waiting for? In the end remember that girls are not complicated, they simply want chocolate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
humanbean234 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 This question is easily resolved with a standard-variety Shasta Daisy (which may be found growing wild, or may be easily purchased from a local florist for under US$5.00). 1. On plucking petal #1, questioner declares "She loves me"2. Petal #2, questioner declares "She loves me not"3. Repeat this cycle, alternating declarations, until only a single petal remains. The final declaration will indicate the state of the girl's emotions towards the questioner. (Alternately, entrail-reading may be performed, but an adult goat is typically more expensive than a daisy; thus I recommend method #1 for this type of divination.) Or better yet, you can just call the girl like she asked you to, and ask her if she wants to go see a movie; Watchmen is coming out soon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philosopher101 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Should you be unable to find a daisy use resses pieces pulling one out at a time.M and M will give you shady results. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derkins Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Who know really at the moment just keep things the way they are. Don't make a move or nothing wait it out and see where it goes. SOme guys hate doing this they want to know now but what I do know of relationships its never good to run into them head on with out lookin first. Give it more time and I say if she keeps acting like this then mabye.Oh and dates as friends is a very good idea something simple and not to expensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dezdimona Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Now a womans perspective. Some of what you got was good...First that you were there for her is good. People do stupid things which they later regret. It human! People will always pick on those they perceive as weak and helpless. Ignor them,they're idiots. Its only natural for her to now turn to you after you've been there for her. From what you've written its possible that her feelings for you have turned, but you need to keep those words in perspective. I say "love ya" to all my friends on line and off, do I love them as friends... Yes I do. The words 'I love you" can mean different things to different people. Does she still like this other guy? is she now turning to you because he doesn't return her feelings for him?....Be very careful! Is she turning to you because she really likes you,or perhaps to instill jealousy in the other person. At your age I know its hard to distinguish what true love is. My advise, give it time see what happens, continue being her friend and don't be afraid to ask her what she means when she says "I love you". She may really like you and she is confusing like and love. Don't set yourself up for a big letdown. Stay close to her but stay aware of what and how she perseives your relationship to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted269910User Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 How I see the situation is that she's clinging on to you, which isn't really a desired effect, if you want to date her seriously. I would suggest you try and sort out her problems and get to know eachother even better.(If she hasn't told you about "the issue" yet, it likely means one of the following things; she hasn't finished dealing with it herself, she's afraid you'd hate her if you knew[by the sounds of it, it could have even been rape, but that is just one of the, worst, possible scenarios.], she doesn't trust you enough to tell you about it, OR she simply wants to shut it all out of her mind.) I suggest, like the others, to give it more time and take it steady. Don't rush into things and make sure she is at a "normal state" before getting all serious. You might end up being hurt, if she simply uses you as a 'stepping stone' to get over her problems and then dumps you once she's better. You don't want to end up being her 'brother' however and you should make sure she understands your feelings, but also that you <>want her to get over all her problems and be on a normal state or that she is currently in her normal state<>, before heading into a real relationship. If she disagrees with you and throws up a tantrum or the like, you'll know she wasn't serious with you in the first place. ===> Civilized conversations can quite often clear lots of things and if she isn't able to have one, you'll know she isn't ready for a real commitment. I'm not going to give you advice as what to speak of or go to anything specific as I don't have her backgrounds etc. and I'm not too fond of meddling with other people's affairs. Quick edit; I would suggest that you're not too oblivious or blunt when you're talking about her personal stuff, as depending on the person, it might make her mad. What a relationship needs is mutual trust and honesty, to be able to grow into something greater than a bypassing infatuation. If you're worried about whether she is ready to make a real commitment, you should be able to discuss it with her and share your concerns and see if she is able to assure you she is perfectly fine at the moment, and in the foreseeable future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ov3rwhelming Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Thanks for all the feedback. It's nice to hear what other people think about something sometimes. And to answer your little questionnaire:1. I am still not able to pinpoint why I like her, but I think it is because she has a lot of things (in her life) in common with me and we can relate, and I want to be able to help her through her hard time (a personality trait of mine).2. I don't think she believes in the whole true love or soul mates thing, but I am only guessing based on her personality, because she hasn't actually said one way or the other.3. We haven't done anything together yet, but it is still fairly recent that I told her how I felt.4. I really do think she is worth the wait. I can't really say why, but I just love even being around her, it just makes me feel better when I talk to her. Also, before the recent developements, she almost never said I love you, or signed off with a <3 and things like that.And if I was simply a stepping stone for her, I don't think I would be hurt too badly, and would probably still try for the win. :wink: and a mental note: chocolates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philosopher101 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I'm not kidding chocolate in its chemical makeup is meant for the female heart.Somethign to do with magnesium. I'll have to wikipedia it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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