ov3rwhelming Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Ok, i just posted a topic on whether a girl liked me or not. Well, I decided to ask her out. However, the first opportunity I was given was to prom, and I asked her. She said she would love to, but then after when my brain caught up with my heart, I realized I can't dance. AT ALL. The only dance I know is the "slow dance". Now what will I do? I have about 2 months before prom, so I have time, but I don't know where to start. Should I look for a local place and get lessons, get them from another female friend, or ask her to help me learn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michlo Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Umm, everyone told you in the other thread to take it easy, to remain friends. You chose to ignore that. Why would we now give you further advice? :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vagrant0 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 First, if you're Caucasian, you'll never dance good, so you kinda just need to accept that. Don't get me wrong, there are some Caucasians who "think" they can dance, and there is nothing saying that non-Caucasians aren't automatically good dancers either... It's just that several generations of polka and square dancing have pretty much bred out the dancing gene. It's science, look it up on Wikipedia. Second, ignore all that. Dancing is really all about how good you "know" you are. It's 30% physical, and 75% mental. If you can't put forth the impression that you know what you're doing, and are having fun doing it, most of the battle is practically lost. As anyone who has seen Mr. Glowstick in a nightclub (you know, THAT guy) would have seen, it's all about presentation. In any other setting, he would look like a total retard, but as soon as he gets out on the dancefloor, he's the king of techno. This applies to all other forms of dance, but is most noticeable in this case since the particular dance is often performed by people who would otherwise have no redeeming qualities, no offense Mr. Glowstick. Third, it's Prom. Most of those people who are going probably havn't even dated, much less held any kind of conversation with a member of the opposite sex for more than 5 minutes. As things go, unless you're attending some godforsaken highschool, much akin to those featured in those over popularized musical movies that every girl (and some boys), between the ages of 10 and 16 (I would hope not much older), most won't know how to dance either. Instead it's usually 2-5 hours of awkward gyrating that has caused just as many physical injuries as emotional ones. Best advice would be to look around in your area to see what kinds of dance clubs are available (legally) within your age group, and plan a few trips between now and then either with friends, or with your prom date. Although yeah, a dry run can occasionally end badly, and break your prom plans, it tends to make the whole experience less foreign. Besides, contrary to what might be perceived by looking at your peers, or what you see on TV, or Movies, prom more often ends up being less about any sort of connection, and more about a relationship of mutual benefit. By agreeing to go to prom, all she's likely saying is that going with you is better than going alone, or that agreeing to go with you serves as a good reason to offer up if she is asked by someone else. More often than not, people just end up going as friends. Oddly enough, this is also why one can usually get a few phone numbers at prom if they know how to work things. But since you aren't really looking for advice, and will probably do whatever you want to do anyway, ignore all this, calm down, and remember that women NEVER make sense when you are actually trying to have a relationship, it's like a little crazy switch flicks on the moment you even consider showing real interest. The more you want it, the less she'll make sense, the less you want it, the more predictable she becomes. This is why the assholes of the world can always have a girlfriend or two, they don't show particular interest, so they can read a woman from a mile away, and know exactly what to say when they want to say it. But meh, ignore all this and just do whatever. Seriously it's no big deal, your current social life pretty much ends after highschool anyway, once you go away to college, even if it's local community, you can just reinvent yourself as you see fit. **The above post was meant to be comical, but still valid. Please don't judge too harshly, I'm not a racist, or a misogynist, and respect women for all the crap they have to go through, it is just unfortunate that so many end up batshit crazy or incapable of holding even slightly intelligent conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AReaver Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 id ask her to help you learn so you both get a feel for it and its another chance to get closer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michlo Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Well I happen to be one of those Caucasians who can dance. I always have been able to and it isn't just that I "think" I can, I've been told many, many times. Some say it is due to me being gay but since Vagrant isn't keen on adding to his list of prejudices, I'll not go there. ;) I agree that it is really all about relaxing and having confidence. One doesn't have to be crazy on the floor to be able to dance. Just listen for the beat and comfortably move your body to it. Unless you're going to a formal bash where there will be structured dancing you'll be fine. Don't think about what your body is doing, focus on the music, the ambience, the girl(s), etc. Being British I never had a prom but after being here 17 years I always thought these were a big deal when it comes to who you take, implying more than just a friendship so I still advise you DON'T go with her but I'm sure you'll have to do what most of us have done and learn the hard way about life's pain. :P Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vagrant0 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Being British I never had a prom but after being here 17 years I always thought these were a big deal when it comes to who you take, implying more than just a friendship so I still advise you DON'T go with her but I'm sure you'll have to do what most of us have done and learn the hard way about life's pain. :P Good luck.The dancing thing being from heredity was a joke, shouldn't read into it too deeply, hence the "go look it up on wikipedia" part. In truth, anyone can learn to dance, and dance well, once they have the flexibility, coordination, and attitude to do so, and all of these things can be gained just from doing. That's really all there is to being good at anything... practice and effort. The less often you do something, the worse you'll be at it. Although I may make light of Mr. Glowstick, the fact is that he probably spends alot of time and effort working on his routines, and is thoroughly committed to owning that 3'x3' piece of dance floor. Anyway, done is done, he's going until she decides otherwise. Afterall, it's not really something he can back out of once the question is asked. Only thing I would want to add is that friendships with women usually only work when neither party has any specific interest in each other, as long as sex remains an issue, it will always complicate things, or atleast make it a bit more awkward. Take it from me, there are few things more detestable than to be friends with a girl you really like, but are stuck with in that "just friends" stage, or worse, when you have to continually hear about how their latest boyfriends are such assholes (which you knew the moment you saw said turkey, but remained silent because you wanted her to be happy), and how they can never find the right guy... This is not to say that man and woman cannot be friends, or have a close, non-sexual relationship, only that it is not something someone should enter into lightly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
humanbean234 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 A popular motto/philosophy amongst many of my bohemian friends... "You gotta' dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never gonna' hurt." It would appear you have the perfect opportunity to do exactly that, my friend. (Personally, I like the suggestion of asking her to help teach you. It accomplishes multiple things... 1. It gives the two of you a reason to spend time together in a very inexpensive activity, 2. It would show her that you're eager to accept her opinions, input, and guidance on occasions, 3. It gives her the perogative on physical contact. Dancing is a very physical thing... if she's keen on dancing with you, and wants to dance closely with you, I think you've got your answer on "Does she like me?" right there... Good luck, bro!(And for gawd's sake, shower before your first dance lesson... nothing is a bigger turn-off than poor hygiene...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gamerbird Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Not one good at dancing myself, just dance as you want to! No one is rubbish at dancing as everyone has their own unique style for dancing.So you are good at dancing in your own way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derkins Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Well Well I did say it was a good idea to ask her on a date but I was thinking movies or an inexpensive dinner just as friends. THe prom well thats a little more then just friends kinda thing aahhhhaaha. Any who Yes tell her you don't really know how to dance and ask her for help. She might be impressed that you a guy are asking a girl for help. Mhmm yes eah and don't speed anything up either just go along slowly and do what feels right just remember that alot of times second guessing your self will break a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dezdimona Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 A popular motto/philosophy amongst many of my bohemian friends... "You gotta' dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never gonna' hurt." It would appear you have the perfect opportunity to do exactly that, my friend. (Personally, I like the suggestion of asking her to help teach you. It accomplishes multiple things... 1. It gives the two of you a reason to spend time together in a very inexpensive activity, 2. It would show her that you're eager to accept her opinions, input, and guidance on occasions, 3. It gives her the perogative on physical contact. Dancing is a very physical thing... if she's keen on dancing with you, and wants to dance closely with you, I think you've got your answer on "Does she like me?" right there... Good luck, bro!(And for gawd's sake, shower before your first dance lesson... nothing is a bigger turn-off than poor hygiene...) Taa-Daa, we have a winner. HB hit it right on the head. Follow this mans advice,he seems to know what he's talking about. I' found out that if a guy doen't know how or isn't to sure how to,the best way is to practice with him( in your case her) Danceing is more than just exercise or a way to let loose, its derived from mating rituals and is supposed to be an way to intise each other.Practicing with "your" lady friend will allow you also to sync your movements and enjoy the danceing even more. And there's nothing wrong with the good old hold me close slow dance either. Most of all have fun and enjoy yourself,you'll carry this memory forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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