kennyimpala Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 OLD Stuff to be gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vagrant0 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Unless this is some 1st year, lower level psychology class, be happy with the C+. No offense. There are quite a few grammatical issues, and a few words which are just outright wrong, but even fixing those would likely not help your grade much if the intention of the course involves anything related to the content of the study. You make quite a few assumptions, and your wording is not a 1-1 comparison in concept, meaning, and impact between the religious and non-religious statements. You do not isolate for the impact of these words as the sole variable, having some method for separating between those persons who are simply kind by nature verses those who aren't. A survey size of 24 participants is far too small to get any meaningful results, especially when such a broad range of ideologies is being taken into account. A sample size of 70-90 people would have probably worked better. Usage of an "other" makes this even harder since there are many who may identify as agnostic or non-religious, but who still follow certain religious and cultural doctrines related to helping others. You should have also included tables, charts, and graphs showing all data related to the study, included the exact statements and materials which were given to participants. Although the paper has quite a few problems, the study itself was not setup or administered in such a way so as to only test for a single variable. If this is a first year class, this may not matter depending on how strict your teacher is, but if this is a higher level course, or if the teacher was strict, they may not have bothered to actually read past where you explained your methods. The questions asked are both too demanding of the individual and and too hypothetical. It's far easier to ask someone to take part in a fictional 10 mile uphill run, and something entirely different to present a real cause that they would be asked to volunteer for on the spot. Or a cause which requires less personal commitment. The second question is a similar thing, except instead of a yes or no, you have a scale of 1 to 7, where the values inbetween are largely up to individual perception. Whenever a scale is used, it should be a clear;strongly agree, agree, neither agree nor disagree, disagree, strongly disagree. And the question should be phrased as such. With that second question, there are also other solutions that do not involve personal commitment, but still solve the problem, such as raising money to hire gardeners, or getting friends/other neighbors to help out with some of the chores. Having only 2 questions also rather limits things. Having questions with clear and definite selfish/selfless responses also creates complications since people may only be answering in a selfless way because they may feel pressured to appear kind. Meanwhile, having slightly more ambiguous questions, or questions that involve a real commitment involved will usually encourage a slightly more honest answer. As far as grammar goes...It was hypnotized that participant who were considered more religious...spellcheck is not a substitute for reading your paper and checking over it manually. All of the studies described above suggest that people tend to be more generous while believing in God. One possible reason for this is that they have the feeling that an authority is watching them, thus making them follow their beliefs, and leave a good impression to the religious authority (Bjarhava et al.). In contrast, people that do not believe in a religious authority, do not believe in an authority watching over them, leaving them with no restraints on their life, and making them able to decide what is good or bad, or to be more specific whatever is most convenient to them. However this theory does not apply to all cases, because there are still atheist people that are generous for any other reason, as mentioned above morality is another factor that affects generosity. It might be well thought that, that person was conditioned (refer to classical conditioning) to be generous by their family members, media, political party, or the advice of his/her friends (this could include subliminal priming). The next experiment presents a more profound explanation of how the influence of religion, and religious priming would lead to a more generous attitude.No clear thesis. A number of rather broad assumptions. Suggestions that your work is somehow more important and meaningful than published studies. Use of parenthesis to clarify. Tossing out words (classical conditioning/subliminal) to make the statement seem more official. Not trying to be overly negative here, just explaining why a C+ grade was rather generous. Sometimes brutal honesty is exactly what is needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennyimpala Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 o_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vagrant0 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 thanks.... I'm drunk so I don't really careedit <lol>If you don't care, why should anyone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skingrad24 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 This is what I understood in 10 years of school (which isn't so much): to get higher votes you should use this method: talk with your teacher about the argument you chose, make an idea of what your teacher thinks about it, makes the essay in a professional way, with reasonings for each thesis and write the same the teacher thinks.Also if you didn't do it well, the teacher will subconsciously give you an higher vote because he/she will believe you think the same as him/her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennyimpala Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vagrant0 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 thanks....well the think is that Vagrant0 told me all this bad things about my paper.the thing is that I did it all according to the criteria of the teacher,I find it a bad paper myself, because the whole experiment was trashwe had to use a sample size so small because it was reduced to the classroomwe had to choose between topics, and most of us didn't have any significance on the studies. I'm not an native english speaker, I did this paper in several days, having to retakewhatever I left behind I never wanted to write this paper because the whole experiment was stupid. in other papers I has A+ perfect score and stuff using the same APA styleIn which case, the study doesn't matter since it was merely an exercise in writing the paper. You'd kinda hope for something a bit more meaningful from a 200 level course at a state university (even if it is Nevada) but arguably the entire notion behind psychology's science envy is at fault. At any rate, excluding the comments made about the actual study, you are making several unfounded statements, lack clear thesis, misuse words, and do not supply all data and materials (everything that was administered to participants). Regardless of how you feel about the study, or how meaningless the study with the sample size, these things should be included. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennyimpala Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 thanks....well the think is that Vagrant0 told me all this bad things about my paper.the thing is that I did it all according to the criteria of the teacher,I find it a bad paper myself, because the whole experiment was trashwe had to use a sample size so small because it was reduced to the classroomwe had to choose between topics, and most of us didn't have any significance on the studies. I'm not an native english speaker, I did this paper in several days, having to retakewhatever I left behind I never wanted to write this paper because the whole experiment was stupid. in other papers I has A+ perfect score and stuff using the same APA styleIn which case, the study doesn't matter since it was merely an exercise in writing the paper. You'd kinda hope for something a bit more meaningful from a 200 level course at a state university (even if it is Nevada) but arguably the entire notion behind psychology's science envy is at fault. At any rate, excluding the comments made about the actual study, you are making several unfounded statements, lack clear thesis, misuse words, and do not supply all data and materials (everything that was administered to participants). Regardless of how you feel about the study, or how meaningless the study with the sample size, these things should be included. all I can tell you is thanks for your advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaosals42 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Did you get my email, Kenny? It contains an edited version of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennyimpala Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 Did you get my email, Kenny? It contains an edited version of it. yes I did, and thanks a lot for your help, you will notice you will get one kudoand thanks a lot man add me to friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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