A Short Scene

[MDRud216]

The ominous white cloud hanging above, and dominating the sky strained to withhold its precipitation. A few intermittent snow flakes had already drifted down through the frigid air and come to rest out upon the frosted expanse of the lawn. Plintor Bel-arqua was the current unfortunate residence of Captain Tarysus’ company. It was early morning, and the cannons set up the night before beyond the mansion’s foyer were now caked in frost and great sinister icicles hung from their muzzles. Bel-arqua was the estate of a young Valerian, a huge mansion, built of wood, brick and stone. Its three stories overlooked an enormous rectangular lawn that stretched out a kilometer until it was broken by the small oaks and maple trees of the areas woods.

These cannons were the first of their kind, long iron cylinders, reinforced with bronze and powered by mysterious black powder, mined from deep within the Fadmar Shelf by the dwarves themselves. When a smoldering rod was inserted through a small opening at the rear of the contraption hell itself seemed to explode from them, sending a projectile much further then conventional catapults.

Tarysus’ men were growing restless, their pursuers had kept up well until now, buying them time to turn and set up the new weapons. Why have they not emerged from the trees yet? Was all he could think. He wanted desperately for his first battle as an authoritive figure to be a success, but with each passing second his mind was polluted with paranoia, and the fear of an ambush; an attack from a different direction.

“They’re here sir,” the voice of the adjacent soldier was like a mother’s when she pulled her child from a dreadful nightmare, “Just beyond the tree-line, out of sight.”

“Will the cannons reach that far?” was the only response he could think of.

The soldier leaned over, trying to read off the diagram given to him. The text was dwarven, but simple enough for someone of his linguistic abiltity to decipher. He stuttered in the cold, “I- I think so Sir, the shaft must be pointed further skyward to achieve the distance.”

“Do it.” He said, watching from the foyer as his men struggled with the objects, at last clumsily tilting the cannon barrels up. He hoped that their performance would be more impressive, preferring not to imagine what would happen to him if they did not. Something else was wrong now, the soldier seemed to be visually assessing one of the cannons before briskly walking back up the steps and onto the deck where Tarysus was waiting.

“There’s a problem Sir, we loaded the cannons with the powder and balls as instructed last night, but they’re frozen down in the shafts, I don’t see how-“

“Fire them,” the captain instructed firmly, “Not even ice will stop these contraptions if what I have heard is true.”

“Right, excuse me Sir,” and he returned to the lawn where the line of cannons had been set up. Hurry! Tarysus thought; attempting to keep his insecurities hidden was becoming increasingly difficult. The Cannoneers were setting the tips of their wooden rods alight on the braziers set up and the warm wisps of smoke warmed all their lungs.

“Ready!” Tarysus heard from below, gentle mists were caressing the grass beyond the line of cannons; a relaxing counterpart to the anticipant silence brought about by that last word. The warriors strewn about were as eager to see these new weapons in action as was Tarysus.

“Fire!” the command was lost in a horrendous boom of resounding thunder; one by one huge puffs of white smoke erupted from the cannon barrels. Shattered ice was spewed forth with each recoil. Far to his right a huge flame leapt up suddenly, and this time the explosion echoed for miles. The cannoneer that had lit the cannon was several meters away, his front-side torn open by the blast, the others in the area hunched over, some grasping their stomachs as they hobbled back, away from the remains of a cannon.

“Damn it!” the captain screamed, rushing off the foyer towards the scene of the accident even as the far off woods echoed with the impacts of cannon-fire. It was the second one from the right, completely gone, obliterated, its operator obviously dead. Many of those nearby where impaled with splinters of wood from the cannon’s base, but a few of the lucky seemed to be only shocked from the noise of the blast. Even from the foyer Tarysus had ducked when he heard it, these men must be deafened.

A battle cry was sounded in the distance, and the first sighting of the enemy was made as they issue forth from the concealment of the trees.

“Captain!” the soldier yelled, near panic as he ran to Tarysus “Captain, what do we do?!"

“Fire again!” was his bold answer

“We cannot Sir-“

“Fire again damn it! There’s a hundred meters of lawn between us and those monsters.”

The barbarians had charged thirty meters before the order to load the cannons was met. The Cannoneers seemed confused about the whole process, and the night before there had been no pressure to load quickly.

“Lower them! Hurry, or you’ll overshoot!” The soldier cried, and turning back up to Tarysus he asked “How close are they captain? How close!”

“Just fire Dariun! Fire!”

“Fire!” the order was relayed and resounding thunder again echoed out over the lawn. This time the effects were very pleasing; plumes of dirt and grass shot into the air on the lawn, at least somewhere in the oncoming horde. The enemy seemed distressed, if only for a moment, it was the front of their charge that needed to be hit.

“Lower!” Dariun ordered, “Hurry!” When he looked up from the artillery he saw them, so close that their eyes glistened, and the rot in their teeth was visible. The villains wore chain and thick heavy hides that shifted on their shoulders as they ran, there were helms of iron or steel, and all manor of leg dressings.

“Fire!” The results were instantaneous; the front of the charge wavered as dirt from the impacts rained down on them and those behind fell over the fallen bodies of their comrades. Tarysus urged the few heavily armed warriors down the steps and onto the lawn, forming thin ranks just behind the line of dwarven artillery, the operators of which were now falling back to the foyer.

This is it, Tarysus thought as he looked out past the cannons at the barbarian mob. He could only hope the cannons had served their purpose well enough, there just wasn’t enough time. A final thought crept forward from the recesses of his mind before the adrenaline and instinct of battle took over. I do not want to die.

 

=====================================================

 

Criticisizm would be greatly apreciated, I'd like to know what yall' think

 

I was having a ot of trouble with my indentations on the forum, anyway the original document is attached. Thanks for the feedback

[Viblo]

Well i only read from the last "Fire!" part and i liked what i saw :laugh2:

Good Work and i hope to read any books from ya :wink2:

 

 

Viblo...

 

 

PS. it´s your work right :undecided: ?

[Malchik]

Not bad IMO but I hope you intend to do more. There are a few words that don't seem to fit to me e.g. I don't think warriors, live ones that is, can be strewn about. They can if they are dead.

 

I noticed two typos.

 

Para one 'three stories' should be 'three storeys'. Para beginning 'Damn it', you have put 'where', it should be 'were'.

 

Cheers

[MDRud216]

he thanks, i did do some revision since i posted that... *digs around in hard drive*

 

here is the latest version, some typos fixed, a few minute phrases reworded and... some words replaced. Now I'll fix those two that you mentioned. Its not that different though, so don't bother reading it unless you either don't have anything to do, or have'nt read the first one yet.

 

Not bad IMO but I hope you intend to do more. There are a few words that don't seem to fit to me e.g. I don't think warriors, live ones that is, can be strewn about. They can if they are dead.

 

lol, taken into a account, I pictured them all kind of looking out from the foyer wanting to see these new weapons go off, and my wording doesn't exactly fit that.

 

and yep, its mine- I was very proud of, and have probobly printed off like 10 copies to get it perfect, so each one has a difference of like two letters.