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A never ending story


Gabbemaster

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...that due to the recent deaths caused by ogres and their smell, all ogres were going be executed(yes even shrek and his family) The young ogre jumped up out of his chair and tried to think of a plan of action, but since he had severe mental problems, he couldn't. Just then the military barged into his house and began...
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...to play twister. Baffled but feeling much relieved, the young ogre quietly slipped out unnoticed.

Remembering that his scent would mark him as a target for death, Jack (yes, he was often teased about it at school by his fellow ogrelings)

did something unprecendented for an ogre. He actually...

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...*bathed* :ohmy: ! As he was getting all soapy and clean, he began to loath himself even more. By the end, he hated himself so much, he committed suicide, thus failing the initial intent of him bathing: living. The military found the ogre three days later and were confused. The ogre was hanging by a loose and smelled faintly of lilac. They shrugged and started to play twister again. Meanwhile...
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...all of the hobos in the world were planning a war on the rich and decent. They were sick of living in soggy boxes and getting food from dumpsters and they wanted revenge on the wealthy for...well, for being wealthy. They called their plan: Operation Hobo Vengeance. The first stage of the operation was...
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...take over the Fishy Stick Factory (FSF), because all rich people love fishy sticks (who doesn't? ;) ). If they had control of the FSF, they could, ironically, bribe the rich people. The problem was, that the FSF had one inept guard as the entire security system, so the hobos had no idea how to take it over. They decided to...
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...acquire all market shares of the FSF rather than try to overcome the one inept guard by force. Ironically enough, the company stock value hit an all-time low. And so, the Hobo Legion became the proud new owners of the factory for a paltry sum of 5 drakes (more than some see in a year). Having completed the first objective they celebrated their victory, albeit prematurely. In the dark recesses of the lower levels, something stirred. It was none other than the legendary...
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...Lumbering Hunk of Fishy Stick (LHoFS)! When the FSF was first created, fishy sticks were *horror* UNWANTED! :ohmy: Scientists created the LHoFS to force people to eat fishy sticks. It was said that if you didn't eat twelve fishy sticks a day, the LHoFS would eat you. Of course, no one wanted to be eaten by an over sized piece of fish, so everyone began eating fishy sticks. In fact, people were so afraid, that fishy sticks became the seventh food group along with grains, meats, milk, fruit flavoured candy, chocolate, and pies/cakes. Eventually, the LHoFS was forgotten and locked away in a giant maze in beneath the FSF. After 50 years, the LHoFS finally found it's way out (Fishy Stick Factory Maze (FSFM)). The LHoFS has sworn to devour all non-fish related food and people. This seriously upset the hobos, because although some of them smelled like dead fish, they weren't fish related...except for one; his dad was a bass. The hobos decided to...
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Initiate phase 2 of their world domination plan, which was get an enormous amount of fire power and learn how to use it. The half hobo half bass (let's call him Dave) grabbed a machine gun and a RPG, then ran forth to combat the mighty LHoFS!!!!!!!!!!
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...after a nice chat with tea and crumpets, the LHoFS and Dave decided to team up to devour all non-fish related food and people. (LHoFS convinced Dave that he was seen as an outcast and shunned by all despite that not being true, so Dave became angry at the people who loved him without fully knowing why and attacked them for no reason). LHoFS and Dave ate all the chocolate in the world which made a lot of people mad, especially Jon (the self proclaimed 'King of the Hobos' and main share holder of the FSF) because he could no longer make CCFSs. (Jon gave up on world domination to become a business man.) Next, LHoFS and Dave ate...
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... a few poisoned apples left on the table by one of the hobos. They were of course doomed as the toxins in the laced fruit always slays its victim regardless of constitution, skill in the arts of Restoration or faith in the Nine. Sad news for fish-like people everywhere indeed.

Meanwhile in orbit, aboard the massive Space Bunker cumbersomely dubbed the "Shiny Thingy That Unmakes Life"(STTUL for short),

Garth Wader, a cos-playing evil genius was about to hatch his totally evil (and ingenious) plot to plunder every Fishy Stick in the galaxy!

All he needed to succeed was a single strand of...

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