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A never ending story


Gabbemaster

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...a coherent plot appeared. This of course, started a chain reaction of inter-spacial time implosions in multiple sectors of the Universal Time Spectrum that threatened to unbind the very fabric of existence itself........................ <sigh> Fine, let's call it time travel.

And so the magical plot fairy travelled through time and space righting all sorts of wrongs, and wronging rights (when required and not punishable by law). Just for kicks, the temporal traveller added 1440 years to the timeline if only to see what the future held for the descendants of the previously featured cast. Nodding in approval of a job well done, she once again departed to whence she came.

Meanwhile, in New Jersey...

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...wandered over to the Fishy Stick Factory 2.0 (FSF 2.0). In the FSF 2.0, the LHoFS has been reanimated using bio-mechanics and dark magic (science has invented magic). The LHoFS is now the Bionic Undead Lumbering Hunk of Fishy Stick (BULHoFS). The BULHoFS and Angus decide to attack Chuk Norris (who has not aged at all), so they leave and go to his mansion the 51st state: Canada. When they got there...
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...they realized they wouldn't be able to get inside Chuk's mansion without anything short of an army, because guarding the estate was several hundred clones of Chuk. These clones were lesser versions of the real Chuk so they were more like highly trained special forces instead of the god-like being Chuk actually was. Angus and BULHoFS decided that the only way they could get inside and defeat Chuk was to....
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...holding a drinking contest. Before he became famous for being the pioneer of bringing martial arts onto the big screen, Bruce was the Mountain Dew drinking Champion in his small village... tucked away in some remote mountains in China. As a young lad Bruce would spend his days chasing small animals and consuming copious amounts of the Dew. It is this wondrous concotion which was his real secret.

One day... Chtazg'ad Mrtullh'jji'irs'uoaksali¿ Fearing that a dimensional shift might be caused by Lee's unbidden reminiscence of his youth, the Cthulu unleashed his greatest power: the ability to speak complete nonsense while making perfect sense. This of course had the unfortunate side-effect of turning all within vicinity into gibbering fools (The Chtulu always did have trouble making friends). Driven into depression once again it decided to binge on...

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...human souls. However, even the salty goodness wouldn't help. Cthulhu decided to hang Himself, later realizing He's a god, and a simple rope wouldn't kill Him. As He hung there trying to get down, Bruce Lee once again became addicted to Mountain Dew and started to kill everyone in site to get more Dew. Angus and BULHoFS watched the depressed Elder God and addict martial artist and knew they wouldn't help in defeating Chuk, so they...
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