Modding Help (write-your-own)

[toasttheknowing70]

(I'm not going through 18 pages of forum threads, so apologies if this has been addressed already)

BG3 player here (obvs).  Few hundred hours logged. I started downloading mods, using mod manager, all that because I could never quite get the look I wanted for my Tav.  Modding and playthroughs are going swimmingly, no issues (well, some, but I figured out the problem and just dusted my hands of it for now-will address this in a minute).  I have not seen a College of Whispers Bard subclass mod yet, so I figured, what the hell, why don't I do it?  Started doing some research on writing my own mods and holy sh!t is it daunting.  I have some coding experience (older knowledge, but enough to get by and I know how Google works), but damn y'all.  Apparently modding isn't 'simply' typing code into Notepad (or whatever) and pasting it somewhere.
Here's my first question.  I've read about the Compatibility Framework, Community Library, lslib, Script Extender, Blender, UUIDs, all the tools needed to START modding.  However, I have yet to find a resource that tells you specifically what to do and in what order to do it.  I'm a mom of small gremlins in my mid-30s with a full time job, I only have so many spoons and very little open brain space. What I'm basically in search of is a recipe card for modding-ingredients and steps.  I don't need the cooking blog fluff (iykyk).  I'm hoping for something that says: (1) download these things and put them in this folder, (2) open x, y, and/or z to start, (3) copy/paste this or that into x, y, or z, (4) add your special words and code, (5) save in this or that folder.  I don't even know if those steps are anywhere close, but that's how I interpreted what I read (some of which was based on Early Access). 

TLDR; I'm looking for modding 'recipe cards' (subclass mod recipe, specifically, to start)

Second: in my research, I came across some...heated...discussion re: ModFixer.  Some posts said ModFixer should not be necessary anymore since the game is out of Early Access, but most mods I have have it listed as a requirement. I have it in my BG3 ModManager, along with Script Extender, Improved UI/UI Assets.  My game runs fine.  Most subclass mods I've come across require Compatibility Framework and the Community Library (not all-Shadow Sorcerer and the expanded Cleric domains mods work fine for me without CF and CL; Drakewarden DID, but doesn't anymore).  I downloaded those to add some of my other favorite subclasses I found mods for.  Put everything in correct order in mod manager (I triple checked). That's when everything went ka-put.  Game got really laggy and glitchy.  Uninstalled CF and CL and the mods dependent on them-game went back to normal performance, so not sure what's up there. 

TLDR; is ModFixer necessary still and does it get along with Compatibility Framework/Community Library, because it doesn't seem to

I shall be here in thy camp, awaiting an answer (hopefully)