I used to collect transformers...

[InDarkestNight]

Here I go posting here again, simply because I have no other place to post. I don't expect to run into any toy collecters here, given that its primarily a gaming site, but what choice do I have?

When I was little, I owned a massive collection of gen 2 figures and figures from the later beast wars line. I have only 2 of those gen 2 figures now, but I still have most of my collection of beast wars. For some reason I can't recall, I took to collecting around 2010. I only recall it coinciding with me moving the old box I keep my beast wars figures in into my room due to storage issues. I picked up Ratchet and Dead End from the prime line from an Aldi's, to give you an idea of time frame. For years, I continued collecting. I mostly gravitated towards the more g1 accurate figures, like from the generations line, because that's the cartoon I watched when I was little.

However, for some reason the thing started to lose its appeal. The hunt for figures as they came out was quite fun for a while, but it vanished after figures started appearing at my local wal-mart when i saw them online rather than months later. The main reason though was when the figures started to cheapen up due to the ever declining sales in toys. I rarely saw a figure reviewed on youtube that I actually liked. Its like their production quality had declined to that of cheap knock-offs. I eventually lost interest in all my review channels. Besides, I had long run out of space to display them.

Of course, I never really left it behind, I still go and look at the section regularly, and I have picked up all the old-school re-releases (minus the beast wars figures I already own anyway).

Over the past day or two though, I'm starting to think I left it all behind now. Thinking of returning to Fall of Cybertron, and looking up transformers stuff has for some reason made me feel nostalgic. Keep in mind, I never did this out of nostalgia, despite what it may look like. They're just interesting items. Also, I've released, looking at all my figures, that I can't recall the names of most of them or even what lines they are from, or more disturbingly, how to transform them. This made me think, perhaps I've given up the collecting thing too much. I took one of my figures I had on display, and transformed it. This was probably the first time in years that I had done so. It was neat seeing its robot mode again, but that didn't really feel fulfilling. Funny enough, I do have a back catalogue of figures I never opened; because I simply didn't have the space to display them (I've never thrown away a box, so yes removing them from the box does make them take up more space).

I would like to get into collecting again, but of course figures today are still cheaply made, something other collectors I knew remarked on years ago. Again, they just don't interest me anymore. Its not that i don't like the figures I have anymore, its that I don't like how cheap the modern ones are. Besides, the generations line I swore by for so many years seems to have been long discontinued and never replaced. I've seen a new grimlock figure that looks interesting, but do I really need another grimlock? Besides, the ones I have are probably higher quality than that thing is.

Its no secret that the toy industry has been caving for years. I mean, hasbro has even resorted to re-releasing figures from the original line with re-creations of their original packaging and everything. They're now catering mainly to collectors like me. That was never a lucrative business, so it disturbed me to see them now catering primarily to collectors. I'm actually worried about the toy industry. Toys r us straight up died due to lack of revenue. Is there even any future for toys? Its actually rare for kids these days to even own toys from what I here, because they're just not interested in them; they'd rather play video games on their parents' phones. The state of the industry is really sad.

What am I saying? I don't know. I would like to return to my old passion, though as I said it seems like there's nothing for me to collect. Like I said, figures have really declined in quality over the past few years, and the pandemic from what I've heard only made things even worse. I'm also worried these days about what's going to happen to my prized collection in the distant future. Will they all disintegrate on me? I know my beast wars figures aren't all in pristine condition. I also took to collecting lego sets when I couldn't find a figure I liked. Most of the sets I own have since disintegrated, even though I hadn't messed with them in years. Screw lego. Those things just don't last. I do take good care of my toys, and my transformers figures aren't giving me any issues, but who knows how long that will last?

In recent years, I've just become reluctant to get attached to things. I'm a retrogamer, so obviously I hate the lack of respect it gets from the gaming industry. I've been thinking its a fools errand to try and preserve old games. I did quit playing skyrim months ago because I just go fed up with trying to get it stable again. What I'm trying to say is I seriously believe decades from now when I'm old (I'm in my late 30s right now), I will have nothing I have now. All my games will be long gone, and my collection will also be gone. I'll have nothing and there's not a damned thing i can do to stop it. All digital products will inevitably be lost, and all these plastic figures will one day disintegrate into microplastics, and the toy industry will one day die meaning I won't be able to get replacements or new figures. Everything I love will be torn from me, like everything else i my life. I am so sick of losing the things I love. I have virtually nothing left now, and there's not a damned thing I can do to stop losing what little I still have.

Yeah, I don't know what to do. I value preservation, that's no secret, but i can't help but think its a fool's errand. Honestly, I've been thinking that perhaps buddhists are right; letting yourself get attached to things will always lead to suffering. Nothing lasts, not even you, and trying to fight that only makes things worse. I've even started reading the bible, despite abandoning the religion of my youth around 20 years ago. Yeah, old person returning to religion now that they're having to confront impermanence. Its easy to not fear such things when you're young and you know death is probably far off, and you don't realize the value of the things you own now that will you forever long for once you're older. If I had known I would take up collecting, I would've done more to safeguard my old gen2 collection. It may not matter for my newer figures anyway, so what's the point? I've actually been musing that maybe in the figure, vr will be so advanced all my old toys can be re-created in it, letting my play with my figures again through digital models that won't wear down every single time I touch them.

What should I do? Should I get back into collecting? Am I being overly pessimistic? Are modern transformers even really worth it? Lego sets clearly are not. f*#@ my life...