Internally Conflicted

[Sniperwhere]

There's about 1 way to describe me. A free roamer with a direction to wander in.

 

If you believe in horoscopes, I'm an Aquarius. And Aquarius is also the sign of the free roamer. I hate doing things i don't want to do. Heck, i don't just hate it, i find it hard to bring myself to do it. I never liked school, so as a result, my mind was where I wanted to be and that was anywhere but. Naturally, this lead to me struggling. I do, however, know what i want to do in life. And since it's something i want to do, i'll have little trouble with it. hence the free roamer with a direction to wander in.

 

I also try to be nice to people. This, however, doesn't always go well with the free spirit, because more often than not, someone becomes to fond of my company, and starts wanting me to help them with things. They start asking me to do things i'd rather not have to do. but since i don't want to hurt them or upset them, i bring myself to do it. This stresses me. it forces me to be someone I'm not. Sometimes, it gets bad enough that i have to resort to measures I wish i didn't have to.

 

This is the internal confliction. Do i continue to be helpful and stress for a long time? Or do i cut myself off from them to save me from breaking down? It's a decision I can never find a resolution to.

 

 

I'm experiencing this right now, actually. In World of Warcraft, some 10 year old wanted me to help him find a village in the game. I thought, "Why not" and started looking. i found it, and next thing i know, he has me locating each and every little location on the quest. I've never done the quest. hell, I'm not even from that region. i don't know where anything is. Next thing i know, he wants me to take him back to MY starting area. A good 30 minutes of travel right there. I tried reasoning that i just want to play the game and that it's not that hard to do these things on his own, but the kid is the most persistant person i've ever met; replying to everything with "no." and having it done his way.

 

i can't brush him off, he's 10. but i can't keep doing stupid things just because he's to lazy to do it himself.

 

How do you make a 10 year old understand that asking a complete stranger to do everything for you is going way to far?

 

I'm afraid this'll lead to me having no choice but to be rude about it. And I don't want to do that.

[Pronam]

No good deed gets unpunished, eh?

 

You could do a 2 step approach.

the first will be kind, the second will be less kind...

 

Like you will say that its is time to leave, because you want to continue on your own and that this will not lead to anything productive..not being free to do what you want alters the game-experience you normally wouldn't like to see to happen.

 

The less kind approach could be that you are (waisting) losing precious time because of him. That time has to be paid for and that next to that, you're losing interest in the game because you're doing something for someone else and are not free to do whatever you want, because all your time is consumed by him..

While you're not really benefiting in the way he's right now, which leave you in a uncomfortable position which you don't want to.

Because you want to enjoy comfort from this game, not the opposite..

 

Lol, a bit too much, but maybe you can use some parts of it..

Although helping out is nice, people tend to overstay their welcome soon. Especially if it is a favor..and people ask for more..

Then they'll lower things down with, I thought we were friend, or I cannot do this without you, we were a team etc...

If it leads to that, you mostly have to be rude, because you cannot get out with a kind word, only end with one...

 

If it leads to that, be clear about your point and end with a good word, just don't evade what you want to say..

That could lead to even more trouble..

 

Good Luck ;D

[bben46]

First, tell him he is missing the whole point of the game. To search and find things for yourself, and find other interesting things in the process.

Then tell him 10 is really too young to play WOW and so he will not understand much of what is going on in the game.

Then, if that dosn't work, try saying no in a polite way, such as , "I'm busy right now, why don't you see if you can find that one yourself. I'll give you a little hint tomorrow if you cant find it."

Then limit him to one answer per day - most 10 year olds will die if they don't get instant answers.

Give him some wrong answers and send him on some wild goose chaise in the wrong direction.

He will whine and complain some, but eventually leave you alone. Somewhere he has to face some disappointments, a game is a good place to start.

 

If he gets to be too much of a nuisance, block him and forget about it. He will get over it.

[tyreil829]

i will admit a 10 year old playing WOW is like...woah

 

BBen has given you a very good idea sniperwere i think you should take his advise

[TheCalliton]

im not gonna say much from religion, but its what god would want you to do... help people

 

BUT

as i, a sagitarius myself, would say. do both

help people, but take some time for yourself

martial arts can help you find your balancing point, with that nothing i simpossible

[Sniperwhere]

Alright. i'll take some of this into consideration. When he told me he was ten, the first thing that crossed my mind was, "somehow, i'm not all that surprised."

 

I've never let the ignore feature become an option, but if these don't work, it'll have to be.

 

I did say i was busy at one point and was awarded with, "Y?" to which clued me in he needs a better understanding that on the other end of that name is, in fact, a being of flesh.

[Birrii]

I'm Aquarious, and I know what you mean.

The first part about that you didn't like school etc, that's just lazyness :P But don't take it personal, we're all lazy sometimes, aren't we?

 

About the politeness things; when it is between your friends and your family, you can explain them the situation that you're too tired of doing something and that you can't really help them. they'll understand, or they should.

But if it's a stranger, like a guest, the you should be a bit more helpful, to show that you know manners. A normal guest wouldn't require you to do something like "lend him/her money" or "buy milk from the grocery store". but thinks like "passing the sugar" etc, well, that is what you must do to be polite.

But you must also have a line. You can't do something like "kill someone" or "fornicate with someone", because those things are a bit, well, too extreme.

 

And about that boy, just tell him that he should do the quests himself, and explain to him that you have to do some quests yourself etc. BUT BE POLITE!!!! If he still starts to ask you to do the quests for him etc, then tell him again to do the quests himself. If that doesn't work either, then do what Bben told you to do: block him.

 

Good luck!!

[SionDS]

Just pretend you are gay. All boys below the age of 16 who play videogames are homophobes. Just play Halo online if you dont believe me.

[dezdimona]

Just pretend you are gay. All boys below the age of 16 who play videogames are homophobes. Just play Halo online if you dont believe me.

thats pure biasness on your part!

[Sniperwhere]

Well, he's been blocked. Kid never knew when to stop, so I blocked him right there and went about my business.

 

Which was a good thing to, since he's no longer ordering me around, i actually found a group of friends in which useful stuff gets done. like, finding a rather hard quest for our level then working in a group to complete it. went from lvl 17 to 20 in a day this way. Also learned a good deal about the game world in the process. And the best part, they understand perfectly the concept of personal space.