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Faulty Sigil Productions


TheCalliton

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hello folks!

Viceice and me are going into the oblivion making buisiness!

i have our first script ready, but first about us

this is our official thread

 

we do oblivion movies

Viceice mods oblivion to fit the script.

Either one of us can film/write, but the first script is my doing

this is it

 

 

Your call did not go through as dialed, please try again

 

written by: Calliton

mods by: Viceice

filmed by: Calliton

 

 

 

 

 

 

enter Chancelor Ocato's chamber

 

Hero approaches

 

Ocato: "Greetings, champion. I have an important task for you. You must go to Kvatch and close a new Great gate that has opened... you are our only hope."

 

Hero "I wont fail you, Chancellor!"

 

as the hero walks away, the chancellor starts eating a bagel

 

 

enter the great gate infront of Kvatch

 

Epic scene of hero running up to the gate

just as he is about to reach the gate, a smaller one opens up inside

the hero stops dead and says to himself, "This is almost as strange as the time i found a two headed scamp in my pants..." the hero charges in, flailing his sword as he runs to it, screaming like a little girl

 

 

he enter the gate to find a strange room...

 

zoom in on the desk

enter subititle "ITS A DESK* dramatic chord

 

 

The hero stops dead in his tracks and looks around

men in strange armor watch him, and a guy is sitting at the desk

the hero begins to talk to him.

 

MD "the gate you have tried to access is currently unavailible. This is due to matenence on the gate. The gate's five million year sigil check is due, and it has a faulty spark plug."

 

Hero "What is a spark plug?"

 

MD "a spark plug is... a little thingy that makes a spark and plugs a hole... i think. Anyways, this is the mythic dawn customer service. Would you like a tour of the facility?"

 

Hero "Uhm... sure..."

the hero sheathes his sword and follows the agent down a corrider with windows showing a group of mythic dawn eating bagels and reading porn (lusty argonian maid will suffice)

 

at bagels:

MD "this is our employee lounge. today Zack brought it bagels for everyone"

 

Hero "what is.. a... Bay-gull?"

MD "Its a round peice of break with a hole in th emiddle"

Hero kills an agent and takes the bagel "Amazing..."

Hero kills the other two and eats the bagels "I must have more..."

Hero looks around desperatly, but instead of a bagel, finds a strange book...

hero reads it, and his pants fall off "What is this... amazing book? Am i looking through a window into some one's room?"

MD "No, thats just porn. lets keep moving."

hero "Amazing... all the girls in vanilla oblvion have them the same size... and a bra stuck to their skin... amazing."

 

at the surgery watching room

MD "This is where we take care of our injured, as magic seems to not work in here. Oh look, Gunnar is getting his left kidney removed! Would you like to watch?"

Hero walks up "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM! HE'S GONNA DIE DOWN THERE!"

hero starts hitting the unbreakable glass with his sword "DONT KILL HIM!"

MD "We are removing his kidney, it is badly infected and cannot be healed with magic"

Hero "but... you cut him open... like in deadly reflex only... less bloody."

MD "Actually deadly reflex just uses mashed cranberries."

Hero "So... ive been drinking canberry juice when i cut a gaurd's head off and get blood all over me?"

MD "Yes. You drink it?"

hero "blood gets in my mouth. Especially when i slaughter the people of Anvil. WHEW those guys can bleed!"

MD "Lets get back to the lobby now, the tour is over."

 

 

back at the desk

"My god... bagels... porn... and succefull surgery... my life has been a lie..."

the hero takes a moment to compose himself...

"I must prevent this from getting out to the world..."

he draws his sword and kills the mythic dawn in the room.

he then takes the sigil stone out of the desk and escapes

outside, he is thrown a geat distance and wakes up in jail.

Hero "Gaurd! Gaurd! why am i in prison?"

Gaurd "For possesion of pictures of the chancellor having sex with his wife, and for having pictures of argonians with nipples... everyone knows those boobs are fake."

the gaurd begins to eat a bagel

the hero uses a spell and kills himself, lods a preveouse save and closes the gate

 

 

END CREDITS

 

 

did you guys like it?

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