Lovers Paradox

[Harabec Weathers]

I remeber when I first met her

It was a cool fall evening, at the Chilis restaurant in Clearwater

We were friends for a while but had only met face to face for the first time.

I remeber what I felt sitting across the table from her. Fear, curiosity, sensuality, caution, and ecstacy.

I was nervous, so nervous of making a fool out of myself.

She seemed so much older than me, so much more worldly, and I felt like a young teen out on his first date.

But to my surpise we talked, we laughed, we connected.

We sat there for what felt like hours, I remeber as we were leaving, I didnt want our night to be over yet.

We were close to the beach, so we went.

There we sat on the shore of Clearwater beach at 1am in the full moonlight, holding eachother aas we starred out in the endless ocean.

The waves crawled showly at our feet, the air was cool, but we kept one another warm.

We talked, we shared, we embraced.

After having my heart torn out so many times, I didnt think there was anything left in me.

Until that night.

Until I sat there on cold sands of the beach, wrapped gently around her, and her around me.

It was at that moment I felt something I never felt before.

Happiness.

I felt good, I felt alive.

I felt human.

But then something happened, our individual lives became too much and we lost contact.

I thoughI lost her forever. But I always kept her in the back of my thoughts.

That we may one day be able to see eachother again and things could be different.

Time passed but I never let her go.

I never forgot how I felt with her.

But history is destined to repeat itself.

And one more we came into eachothers lives.

This time it was different.

We were more stable.

More structured.

We knew who we both were, and quickly became one in the same.

I couldnt believe we found eachother again.

So improbable, yet perfect. Like a story in a book.

And once more I was happy.

WE were happy.

We lived together, we laughed, we loved, and wer learned.

We learned an unfortunant lesson.

A lesson in lifestyles.

A lesson capable of tearing bonds asunder.

Slowly, we fell to pieces.

Like a tower built a foundation of glass, we shook.

And we shattered.

So much was said, so much pain inflicted to eachother.

Words like knives cutting through my brain.

Shredding my flesh and bone all the way down to my heart.

Where they still pierce it to this day, bleeding me slowly.

We tried to reconsile.

But to no avail, only more pain. More scars to tear at my thoughts.

When Im busy its not so bad.

But I do not sleep much, and at 3am when its just me and my thoughts.

She is all I can think about.

How I love her.

How I miss her.

How I cannot protect her.

I cannot clear my mind so easily.

Ive been hurt so may times.

I thought Id be used to it by now.

Letting myself open, and having the heart torn my chest.

I try but I cannot forget her.

But I know shes forgotten me.

Shes moved on.

Someone else holds her, someone else protects her, someone else loves her.

And that very thought,

makes me sick to my stomach.

How can i escape from something when its in my head.

When its her face I see when I sleep.

Its her voice I hear I when I dream.

Its the love we shared when I slumber.

Im leaving this place soon.

To become one of this countries few and the proud.

And from there Ill go far away from this city, from this state.

Now matter how fast I run, these ghosts haunting me seem to run just as fast.

But I wonder if they can travel across continents.

 

Its said that opposites attract. I do not believe that.

Its not similarities or opposites that attract.

But rather chance.

Theres a chance of attraction.

Chance that it will work

Chance that it wont

Chance of disaster

Chance of bliss

 

But is there a chance for escape?

[dezdimona]

Love is forever a thing which mystifyies us all.We live,we love,we learn but are we destined to make the same mistakes over again? I think not.You have grown and by growing now have the knowledge of what went wrong to make your next love go perhaps better.Give and take,no relationship is equal.You bend with the wind or you break.The tree that bends survives the gale,the tree that stands firm is doomed to disaster always.

It will pass my friend,let it go and like the rest of us cherish what was good and dwell not on the bad.For was she not good for you after all!

[Harabec Weathers]

This is very true.

Its not so bad when my mind is occupied, but there are many a night when Im up until the early hourse of the morning.

Its then I have the hardest time keeping my thoughts of her at bay.

But youre right. These ghosts chasing me are fast to keep up, so Ill just run faster.

 

When I leave this place to make a life for myself, Im not taking these bad memories with me. They wont be a part of the repair process as I try and salve the pieces that my life has been broken into.

 

Once I ship out ti biit camp, things will change. I know they will.

Thanks though dezi!

[dezdimona]

may your road never be so hard that giving up becomes a solution. Stay stong,memories fade and hearts heal,tis the way of things.

[Harabec Weathers]

Aye indeed minx

 

Gotta keep my head up :)

[Herculine]

I remeber when I first met her

It was a cool fall evening, at the Chilis restaurant in Clearwater

We were friends for a while but had only met face to face for the first time.

I remeber what I felt sitting across the table from her. Fear, curiosity, sensuality, caution, and ecstacy.

I was nervous, so nervous of making a fool out of myself.

She seemed so much older than me, so much more worldly, and I felt like a young teen out on his first date.

But to my surpise we talked, we laughed, we connected.

We sat there for what felt like hours, I remeber as we were leaving, I didnt want our night to be over yet.

We were close to the beach, so we went.

There we sat on the shore of Clearwater beach at 1am in the full moonlight, holding eachother aas we starred out in the endless ocean.

The waves crawled showly at our feet, the air was cool, but we kept one another warm.

We talked, we shared, we embraced.

After having my heart torn out so many times, I didnt think there was anything left in me.

Until that night.

Until I sat there on cold sands of the beach, wrapped gently around her, and her around me.

It was at that moment I felt something I never felt before.

Happiness.

I felt good, I felt alive.

I felt human.

But then something happened, our individual lives became too much and we lost contact.

I thoughI lost her forever. But I always kept her in the back of my thoughts.

That we may one day be able to see eachother again and things could be different.

Time passed but I never let her go.

I never forgot how I felt with her.

But history is destined to repeat itself.

And one more we came into eachothers lives.

This time it was different.

We were more stable.

More structured.

We knew who we both were, and quickly became one in the same.

I couldnt believe we found eachother again.

So improbable, yet perfect. Like a story in a book.

And once more I was happy.

WE were happy.

We lived together, we laughed, we loved, and wer learned.

We learned an unfortunant lesson.

A lesson in lifestyles.

A lesson capable of tearing bonds asunder.

Slowly, we fell to pieces.

Like a tower built a foundation of glass, we shook.

And we shattered.

So much was said, so much pain inflicted to eachother.

Words like knives cutting through my brain.

Shredding my flesh and bone all the way down to my heart.

Where they still pierce it to this day, bleeding me slowly.

We tried to reconsile.

But to no avail, only more pain. More scars to tear at my thoughts.

When Im busy its not so bad.

But I do not sleep much, and at 3am when its just me and my thoughts.

She is all I can think about.

How I love her.

How I miss her.

How I cannot protect her.

I cannot clear my mind so easily.

Ive been hurt so may times.

I thought Id be used to it by now.

Letting myself open, and having the heart torn my chest.

I try but I cannot forget her.

But I know shes forgotten me.

Shes moved on.

Someone else holds her, someone else protects her, someone else loves her.

And that very thought,

makes me sick to my stomach.

How can i escape from something when its in my head.

When its her face I see when I sleep.

Its her voice I hear I when I dream.

Its the love we shared when I slumber.

Im leaving this place soon.

To become one of this countries few and the proud.

And from there Ill go far away from this city, from this state.

Now matter how fast I run, these ghosts haunting me seem to run just as fast.

But I wonder if they can travel across continents.

 

Its said that opposites attract. I do not believe that.

Its not similarities or opposites that attract.

But rather chance.

Theres a chance of attraction.

Chance that it will work

Chance that it wont

Chance of disaster

Chance of bliss

 

But is there a chance for escape?

 

This poem gave me chills, both the good kind and the bad kind. Incredible work, H. W. ! I hope all goes well for you in your upcoming journeys and adventures!