Funny Replies You Make To NPCs

[eXoduis]

You gota like this guy

http://i41.tinypic.com/2mx1tti.jpg

This is the last picture on the Imperial City Courier Newspaper cameraman.

Xcaltar don't like paparazzi and when he saw that guy... well il let you guess :D

[Jader13]

Here's one I can think of:

 

Beggar: "Spare a coin for an old war veteran?"

Me: "Well, if you're an old war veteran, I wish to spar with you! *Cuts beggar's head off* Ooooops..."

 

And here's another one:

 

Imperial Watch: "Stop! You violated the law. Since you..."

Me: "Yeah, and I also violated your mom last night!"

Imperial Watch: "*Really pissed off* WHY YOU LITTLE..."

Me: "The Adoring Fan did it!!! *Runs away after pushing the Adoring Fan into guard and hearing the gush of blood*"

 

And one more:

 

Uriel: "You. I've seen you. You are the one from my dreams."

Me: "By the Nine Divines, don't be the type of dreams I'm thinking of..."

[Ulfur92]

I've got some good ones

 

Boethia: Beyond this gate is my Argonian challenger. She is a clever thing, and eager for your blood.

Me: I thought she was eager for something else.

 

Arrive at Argonia challenger

Me: She looks like a hooker! WTF?

 

Fighters' Guild Imperial to Orc in Leyawiin Tavern: Go root in the mud, pig man!

Fighters' Guild Orc in Leyawiin Tavern: I'll show you where you can put that fancy sword!

Me: Right, I'm can't u see i'm trying to sleep; take it somewhere else like Blackwood Co.

 

Guard: Stop, you have violated the law!

Me: I have 100% chameleon on u twit. *punches guard in face* then places bounty on beggar

Guard to beggar: Die, theif. *kills beggar*

 

I love insulting Altmer, it's awesome!

 

Altmer: I don't recall using teleportation, and yet there I was. Alone. Naked.

Me: WTF?, get out of ma bed!

Altmer: It just stood there, holding its tail and whispering. What did it say?

Me: *cough, hooker, cough*

 

Altmer: The sun and moons transform day to night, but what transforms the mind?

Me: Ya, mum *punches Altmer in face*

 

Ma'qui: It is good the people wear clothing. M'aiq wears clothing. Who would want to see M'aiq naked? Sick, sick people. Very sad.

Me: Except, that Imperial Watch guy

Random Imperial Watch guy joins conversaion: Talk tough to me. I love tough guys.

Me: WTF?

M'aqi says nothing

Random Imperial Watch guy: Really, now. You're such a charmer.

Me: * Runs away, leaving M'aiq with Random Watch guy* Poor M'aiq

 

And I have a lot more, but I don't think I can say anymore.

[eXoduis]

no feedback on my pics? :S

and yes that m'aiq one made me laugh

[The_Vyper]

You gota like this guy

*snip*

This is the last picture on the Imperial City Courier Newspaper cameraman.

Xcaltar don't like paparazzi and when he saw that guy... well I'll let you guess :D

Wow. Sir Killsalot might actually try to avoid this guy.

 

Back on topic:

 

NPC:"What can I do for you?"

Me: "Nothing you'd enjoy." :devil:

 

Bandit: "I fought mudcrabs more fearsome than you!"

Sir Killsalot: "You're the one who killed my pets? I'LL KILL YOU TWICE!!" *kills bandit four times (Sir Killsalot isn't good with numbers)*

 

Arena Opponent: "Is that the best you've got?"

Me: "No, but you aren't worth my best." *kills opponent without taking damage*

 

Dremora: "Your flesh is mine!"

Me (female character): "Not on the first date." *kills Dremora*

[eXoduis]

Oh yeah.. actually i think that Killalot and Xcaltar should be buddies, thinking of their short tempers..

 

Made me think of a dremora one too:

 

Dremora: "Begone Mortal!"

Me: "Mortal? ill show you mortal!" Uses his Banhammer of Doom (yes i enchanted oen and renamed it liek LHammonds lol).."See, your a mortal too!!! bwahhaa!"

[eXoduis]

Random Imp Watch: "I can see you and I are gona get real close"

Me:"huh??" runs away with tear flooding from his eye o3o nice one beth soft

[Netwit2008]

These ^^ are stellar! Got me lmao! :teehee: I remembered a few more of mine:

 

Guard: What is it citizen?

Me: I don't know, you tell me and we'll both be enlightened.

 

NPC: I heard that Oblivion Gates are opening all over Cyrodiil. Do you think what happened to Kvatch could happen here? (or something like that, lol)

Me: *shrugs* I dunno, why don't you ask that daedra over there by the big arch thingy with the fire flying out and around it.

 

NPC 1: How are things with you?

NPC 2: Nothing I'd like to talk about.

Me: Don't look at me, I ain't got shite to talk about either.

 

NPC in a restricted area: I think you'd better leave!

Me: Make me....*drawing sword*

 

Beggar: Me kids will thank ye fer yer 'elp...

Me: Where are they? Are they saving up for med'cine or a pair of shoes?

[eXoduis]

haha..

talking of beggar, did you notice how their accent changes in the Guild Thieve missions?

[The_Vyper]

Got some more:

 

NPC: "It has words? It can speak?"

Me "It also has a dagger. And It can remove your tongue."

 

NPC: "The prey approaches."

Sir Killsalot: "And becomes the predator." *kills NPC*

 

NPC: "I saw a ghost once. Seemed to suck the life right out of me."

Me: "Sounds like you got to close to a Will-O-The-Wisp. Not your brightest idea."

 

NPC (while I was trespassing): "You shouldn't be here!"

Me: "I know! That's half the fun!"

 

Beggar: "One more coin and I can buy a pair of shoes."

Me: "That's what you said just before I gave you one yesterday. I still don't see any shoes on you."