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From Day Dreams of a Spaced Out old Man comes


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I have been tinkering with an idea... I mean it's probably a good one. I awakened this morning and was barely able to get to the kitchen before I had a music memory moment.


It wasn't, I think I love you! It was the mellow music from Skyrim SE. I think I am getting so I want to put together mods I deem are the best without the game CTDing ever.


Hm? So far I have managed to play through Skyrim SE/AE on the new computer to the get through the quests for learning I was Dragon Born. Without picking up and doing every quest along the way I have gotten to Shouting Dragonrend at Alduin. I've never played just doing the parts needed to get the Horn of xxx, getting the Elder Scroll, so, etc.. I have seen dialog I have never seen before that let me bypass all the other quests.


I now have to get the skill levels up to be able to achieve the end game. Even when I do I will then be in the status of Unemployed and can go to all the Inns for one thing and ask if they have any work for me. Menial labor that is.


After I get to do all that is required for Dragon Born to do against Alduin, at least then, in the video game I won't get turned down for employment because I am over qualified. :geek: :laugh: :wink:

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I was reading about CBBE 3BA. I am studying it to find out how it works. So far I've learned how to set up CBBE for body slide in different ways. CBBE 3BA alludes me though; because I haven't had the desire to use Vortex or MO2 to install it using the fomod method. The easy way!


Putting the mods, meshes, textures, etc., etc., installed manually is what I learned to do first. I admit NMM, MO2, and Vortex make it a lot easier. I just like messing around and seeing the results. Old school is what I would call my habit. I would call it, in a new use of letters, instead of messing around, I am meshing around texturing around being testy all the day.




After I quit Skyrim SE/AE for the evening I had a thought. I am no longer ascending because I am in a sort of state of heaven. Not knocking on heaven's door. I am knock, knocking on heaven's floor. I want see what I missed out on because I wasn't mingling with the children back when; who were using Machine language to do this stuff and when I got involved everyone were new younger than me children who took up the new codes to make video games possible.


I've been up in the attic playing the video games while on the main floor everyone is zonked. ODed on MMO's and DISCORD.

So if you hear someone knocking from above you, high in the sky, maybe on a cloud overheard...


That will probably be me, Knock knock knocking on heaven's floor. Looking for a trap door so I can get down into the Archives where knowledge is that bought us all these fantastic video games.

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Another spurt of disillusion occurred while I was cleaning up my facial hairs. Yes! I have a beard. Now to learn how to convert my image into an avatar's so I can be me playing Skyrim SE.


I know that I may take a picture and convert it into a comic book form. It's been nearly five years since I saw the video showing a guy making his avatar of his own face. The facial expressions were even included. It was a great idea! Only; it's has been so many years since I saw it, I am going to have to spend some time searching to find out if the plan to distribute a personal version so we could add it to any video game. I am purdy darn sure it was for a certain video game.


Before I get back into the evening play time I think I'll go surfing the Internet and confirm I have not become illusional.

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I feel free of what binds my thoughts for now. If there is a tug from anyone who is my friend here or someone I would become friends with, I will return. Until I know I will go where my hearth's light shows me the way.

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More snow arrived this morning. Good thing I put that new thing called a windshield protector to cover on the vehicle. One quick pull of the cover protecting the vehicle's windshield and all the snow will slide onto the ground.


I saw another person that used a wool blanket to do the same thing. Tied it at the sides with rope. Smart person!

The people who made the one I got has elastic bands to hold it, that get wrapped around the mirrors. They people who made them probably got the idea from doing the thing with blankets or saw people who used a blanket of wool or a blanket that is water resistant that won't soak up water if the snow melts before they get out in the morning to pull it off their vehicle.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Try as I might the real dream I was having before I awakened seemed too real to be a dream. I am not yet familiar with some dreams I have had during sleep. Those dreams puzzle me. It's like someone is trying to fit a part for a puzzle that they have in and just haven't figured out where it fits in.


This morning I was chilled when I awakened. The outdoor cold seeped in through windows nipped at my exposed skin. I brought one hand out from under the blanket to pull on a bed cap. Strange, I thought. I felt the chill on my forehead and nose. When my hand reasoned with the air it wasn't as cold in the room. Yet after a moment the feeling I had seemed to fill the room.


I wasn't feeling the air in the room chilling me. I was physically colder; where my skin was no longer covered.


Could it be? Could I be so close to that state being close to the door of between?


I am old! Physically I have managed to keep myself from getting more worn out; than others my age. What was the reason then?


I took a deep breath. A portion of the wind sacks bubbled and gurgled. I coughed up some muck. When I did the space in the sack felt different. It felt like a balloon might, which had some internal goop lining the inside wall that had just been relieved. I took another deep breath.


When my lung sack filled it had cleared the goop. It felt good. I was able to breathe deeply. Deeper than I had in quite awhile.


I wondered. What could have brought on this change?


Was it something I did? I pondered what I have changed in my life in the past few days.


After giving myself time to breathe deeply a few more times I felt my body warming up. As it did I remembered what I had discovered that I had done recently.


The other day I found a package of fruit that I had put in the refrigerator. When I saw them at a store they seemed more interesting when I realized they were what people used for the stuffing in some tiny cakes.


I thought. Why haven't I eaten those before they got frig rot or mold?


I pulled on the clear package I could see the contents of. Two of the packages were jammed in together and when I pulled them out one of them fell to the floor. I picked it up. It was open. The contents had been exposed to the air in the refrigerator for a couple of years. I wondered if they were any good.


I lick tested one of the big berries. A ball half the size of a golf ball. I nipped off a piece to see what it's innards looked like. Darn it! It wasn't showing anything I could see. It was not showing signs of being too old to eat. I ate it.


I can only tell what I experienced after that.


I waited for about an hour. Nothing stirred my insides much. I got curious and looked on the Internet to learn about the food. What I saw suggested I best be wary. After a few more lines I noted that I had better not eat more than three or four a day. I licked tested two more just for the thought of finding out if the orbs were bad.


I did stupid. Or at least at the moment I thought I did. I ate what I thought were two more. I chewed on them. While I chewed on the third it split into two. I figured. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger.


I ate them during the evening before I went to sleep. I figured they were snack food, raw berries, but still a good snatch. I hadn't thought I might be poisoned and die. I went to sleep.


I thought eating them before bedtime would kill that tiny bit of hunger nagging me. It is what I thought the little cakes stuffed with the same berries; only dried berries, were for. A midnight snack.


Had I known what I know now, and I just learned, I would have thoughtfully spit out one of the two which split apart when I began to chew them.


Today when I awakened, I had dreamed what seemed to be a dream so real I was almost sure I was dreaming when I awakened.


I slept well, dreamed while asleep, and felt just the tingle of warmth cooled by my cold skin on my head's forehead. A warning for me to wake up because I was in need of something.


First thought of my morning was... Is my body low on water?

So I got a cup full and drank the water.


Am I in need of anything else?

My thoughts immediately focused on what I have been writing about all this time.


I pondered the berries and the knowledge from the Internet. I didn't feel a need to charge out of my warm covers. Although I thought I should get to those berries immediately after I did.


Do you wonder what berries I am writing about? I would share that knowledge, only they really should be considered with concern. The knowledge that is shared about them should be taken seriously.


So! As I am not an expert licensed to be a dietitian, I am only reporting.


I have eaten at most three berries for several nights. I skipped eating even the little midnight snack cakes filled with the berries after what I learned last night.


The berries stuffed in the breaded bite sized snacks are dehydrated a bit. The warnings said not to eat as many of them a day as the raw berries. Just because they are small two bite sized cakes a lot more of them are still best not eaten in one day. LIke a box full at one time would be BAD.


Literally the cakes that are dehydrated some, should be limited to two a day.


Where as; the fresh berries, raw and cleaned, are best. We should only eat three of them, once a day. Not necessarily all at once.


After I awakened fully I realized I had forgotten my new diet plan and this morning the glue that lungs get in them sometimes got my attention.


After several nights without so much as a water like flow of normal healthy lung juices clearing the insides clean I discovered the berries do more than just add fiber to our diets.


I'm fairly certain my health is improving a bit each day.

Because of the discovery of what those berries provide.


Now that Winter appears to be here to stay with snow that may be around for the eve of Santa's rounds, I will say,



Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year too.

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I've been swapping mods for Skyrim SE AE so much because of CTDs after a short time into the game play.


Yesterday I had, had enough. I decided I was going to remove any traces of Skyrim SE AE off my machine for GOOD.


I stoked the electricity to launch MO2. I used the right click mouse button to open ever folder it could display.


I was reminded that there is a folder in AppData. I looked at all the contents in that folder. WHAT A MESS!


I right clicked on MO2 again the folder where the Save games are stored. Every Save from every time I started and restarted the game were in that folder. And the Autosaves numbered in the hundreds. My Games had a SKSE folder in it too! What a job! It had a listing of the last games set up.


Furious at myself for forgetting those extra folders in AppData and My Documents and not clearing them out my insides were erupting. I stopped and; made myself drink 8 ounces of cold water to cool me down. I bet myself that if I had cleaned those overloaded folders before I added a 144 mods I like; with plans to add a whole bunch more to really make the Anniversary Edition full and prime, and even more mods that I learned about while loading LoTD for with the MO2. Legacy of the Dragonborns installer has tons of mod to add to it.


I was seeing happy lights when I saw all the mods that could be added to the game for LoTD. I was so excited. When I got a few loaded to test everything before I added anymore mods for LoTD. The game wouldn't even start.


MO2 gave me no reason for it. No conflicts, no overwrites, no outdated or [43] mods needing [44].


After I clicked on Play. The icon on Steam switched from Play to Stop and back to Play instantly.


I am really glad, REALLY GLAD, I figured out that the files in the AppData and My Games folders were still set up for the game loaded mods prior to all the work I did for the completely new set up of mods.


I tell you what. I did something smart. I made a folder on a storage drive. I named it xxSkyrim SE AE I made another folder and named it xoSkyrim SE AE. And another. Each now holds a folder with the previous game set up in their main folder, Skyrim Special Edition. I kept the game setup that I had no problems with that was the first installed version of the game before the Anniversary Edition loaded up on the game when I opened the game in a folder named, Original.


After I cleaned the AppData and My Games folders removing the folders contents to the bin, just in case what I was thinking didn't work then I could restore them if I needed to.


I put the Skyrim SE game version I thought was ruined in one of those folders planning to come back to it so I could figure out why it CTDed after building it. Adding 147 mods to the Original Installation from STEAM it worked with about 120 of them. Then I played it. I played it before with the 120 mods installed and it worked.

None of the 27 more should have caused any problems.


I loaded it back into the main common are for games. I started a new game after dinner.


It hasn't crashed once.


Just so you know. I decided to do something more. I moved the working copy into that folder xxSkyrim SE for SE because AE
Wasn't installed to it. Then I did the new smart thing. I moved a copy of the AppData folder and the folder in My Documents to a folder in that folder too.


After clearing out the AppData and the My Games folder contents I installed the Original game with AE installed I had saved to test it and figure out what I did wrong.


Ran it! It set up New folders in AppData and My Games. I played without stopping for 7 hours.


When I stopped I did the new smart thing. I put the AppData folder contents and the My Game folder contents which has the SKSE folder in it too into the folder with the Skyrim Special I played last and Saved them so I could replace them if I did the no, no again and loaded a 100 more mods to add even more questing FUN to Legacy of the Dragonborn.


Well, I did stop a couple of times. I needed to get a fresh glass of water to cool down the flames of joy I was feeling. I like those flames better cause then my head doesn't feel like it's going to explode.


Joy flames are so much nicer. Don't you agree?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh I want to give thx to the people who made Morrowind. And give a shout out at those wicked flying Beasts we who played that game remember so well!


I climb by the tippy toes of my feet sideways around a mountain's cliffs until I find another gap I can climb up higher somewhere.
I have!
Never seen my hands once while climbing around on the mountains of Skyrim. So I know I am wearing out the toes on my boots fast.
I have climbed to places no one can get to without climbing sideways around a mountain until I get to the side where I can get to a place where I can climb to the top. Or fall off the mountain side.
Every day I wonder where I could go to do real life climbing. Since Nature made me work so I got physically worn down; being more cautious of getting hurt. Maybe even too cautious!
So that made my life a little bit pointless to my way of thinking. Morrowind did for me what I couldn't do for myself. My mind was getting the lights turned down in memory lanes full of youthful enthusiasm which I would never venture to do again.
Then I discovered that video game. that gave my mind a new torch to see what was in the forgotten aisles filled with the treasure troves in my mind. It was like finding hidden treasures, or forgotten people who left behind a trace of their life in a journal. A light to see another corner of my own memories that were nearly forgotten.
To a certain extent I am worn out physically so I may spend more time worrying about things as a child I didn't give a thought to until someone worried, shouting at me, made me slip and hurt myself while I was focused and having fun.
When Morrowind found it's way into my life it was like a breath of fresh air. A breeze through the halls of an old castle. A flicker of a candle's flame that made it so I discovered a secret passage into a room hidden for centuries by what looked like a solid stone wall. Or, maybe a stack of books?
Morrowind gave me the ability to add light therein again. Powered by the generator in my body so I had electricity from a big generator in the canyon with wires strung out into a caves entrance disclosing mile upon mile of what my brain's library held waiting for someone to return to the furthest aisles from my beginning. Waiting for me to review my memories. Seeing all my virgin moments of awakenings, again. Plus much, much more.
Morrowind gave me the ability to think about climbing mountains. Opened my thought to carry a torch into dark spaces so I could avoid pitfalls that might lay ahead.
Morrowind gave me back that light we all have to see what we remember. We remember lots. Enough to write a complete set of books to fill a library so big it is beyond imagination that we could have a library of our own like it.
No library on Earth may be stocked as well as our brilliant little brain can.
Unfortunately we might let it all go dark. We might forget we existed if the lights in our "mental keep" are dimmed and get dimmer for very long.
Video games can strike a flint with steel to set a piece of paper on fire. Video games can light the fire at the campsite bringing back those camp fireside memories. Or light a stick with a wad of cloth making it into a torch. It's like we put in new Batteries for our mental flashlight (torch). All to enable us to remember what we did and who we are.
Morrowind made it so my mind was enabled. After I got started at Seyda Neen I wanted to find a way to escape the lowland wild creatures. To climb up a tree or climb to the top of a hill, or the mountains. I felt free and safe while imagining I was able to climb. Hands?! Uh oh! No hands, forearms, elbows and the rest of the arm up to the shoulders never appeared to climb with.
Climbing was the first thing I started doing to avoid the wild beasts in Morrowind down below. I was looking for another passage to get to where the Spy Master was.
Before Morrowind I had stopped thinking about climbing. At least until Morrowind made it so I could with my character. My memories of climbing weren't getting enough light in that section of my mental library.
It was like a breath of fresh air swept into my mind and cleared the cobwebs out of all the aisles of journal filled with memories I have. At least it was until a strange flying animal in the mountains of Morrowind swooped down upon me up high on a mountain top.
That, that... (explicative deleted) Wicked bird that players wrote about in the forum.
You may know what the name of it's kind. Do you know what beast I am writing about? Do any of you who played the game remember the name of that flying beast?
Is the light on brightly brightly enough to see the name under the picture you can see therein? I can still see a picture of it as it dives down and attacked my first Morrowind character that climbed to the top of the mountains. That first experience where I lost that sense of success that sense of security, death of that form of virginity, while avoiding all the beasts down below to get to the place we all were going to after we left Seyda Neen. I didn't have enough coin to get a ride carried there by the huge bug. Do you Remember the taxi bugs name?
Therein my aisles of journals and pictures, the piture of it is as clear as if it was just out of range for us to swat it with the little weapon we got when you arrived at Seyda Neen.
Turn on more lights in that section of your memory aisles.
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