Keanumoreira Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 Grandad: You never told me about your pets. Luna: Oh, well I have one Dolmation, a poodle...(Dramatic, eyes widened) FIFTEEN WOLVES! Grandad: Wolves? Luna: Ahuh. (Dramatic, eyes widened) WOLVES! As long as you display a sense of dominace, it's really not that bad. Grandad: Oh...oh. So...so Luna. Are you good at anything? Luna: Oh yes! I'm good at many things. Gardening, cooking, cleaning...(Dramatically with eyes widened) MARTIAL ARTS! Grandad: M...martial arts?" Luna: Yes. (Dramatically with eyes widened.) MARTIAL ARTS! (Calm and cheery with creepy smile) I'm a white Lotis master! Grandad: (Frightened) A white Lotis master? Luna: (Calm, creepy smile) Ahuh! You know, the deadliest fighting style known to mankind. Grandad: (Nervous) Did you ever kill anybody? Luna: (Still calm, creepy smile) Oh sure, lots of people! But not just anyone, no! Just the (Sudden, Dramatic blank face) OTHERS. Grandad: The others? Luna: (Calm, creepy smile) Yes! (Sudden, Dramatic blank face) THE OTHERS. Grandad: (Nervous) Who are the others? Luna: The (Sudden, Dramatic blank face) OTHERS (Calm, creepy smile) were just a series of men I dated who beat me, abused me, raped me, and cheated on me. Ha, ha, (Sudden, Dramatic blank face) SO I KILLED THEM. Grandad: (Nervous laughter) Luna: (Normal yet creepy laughter.) Luna: (Sudden, Dramatic blank face which breaks the laughter.) NO BUT REALLY, I HAD TO KILL THEM. A long silence... Grandad and his grandkids: WE HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM! Later... Luna: Robert where'd you go? You said you had to use the bathroom but you never came back down. (Sudden, Dramatic blank face) YOU DIDN'T LIE TO ME DID YOU? Grandad: NO! No, I didn't come down because...because, I found out that I forgot something. Next scene... Luna: Fidel Castro? Grandad: Oh yeah we go way back. I used to call him Fidilly. Anyway, I forgot today was his birthday so I have to get the cake, and the ballons, and I have to go to Cuba right away. I hope you understand. A long pause... Luna: (Calm, creepy smile) OK! I thought you were going to say I was insane and you didn't want to date me anymore (Sudden, Dramatic blank face) LIKE THE OTHERS...(Calm, creepy smile) Otherwise I would have to snap your neck like a twig and play jump rope with your intestines! More laughter... Luna: Ha, ha (Sudden, Dramatic blank face) NO BUT REALLY, I WOULD HAVE TO KILL YOU. Short pause... Luna: (Calm, creepy smile with a wave) Bye! -The Boondocks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor. Posted July 25, 2010 Author Share Posted July 25, 2010 http://www.sheep.physicsisbroken.com/darkhelmet.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krimzin Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Lol I love Spaceballs! Colonel Sandurz: We're approaching Planet Druidia, sir.Dark Helmet: Good. I'll call Spaceball City and notify President Skroob immediately.Rico: I already called him, sir. He knows everything.Dark Helmet: [stunned, slams down the phone] What!? You went over my helmet?!Rico: Well, not exactly over it, sir. Uh, more on the side. I'll always call you first, it'll never happen again. Never, ever![Dark Helmet puts on Schwartz ring]Rico: Oh, 'S-Expletive'! Oh, no-no-no-no! Please, no-no-no! No, not that! [prepares to clutch his throat thinking that Dark Helmet is going to choke him using the Schwartz]Dark Helmet: Yes. "That". [fires a blast from his ring that hits Rico's crotch, causing him extreme pain] Dark Helmet: Fire a warning shot across her nose.[Warning shot almost hits Vespa's Benz]Dark Helmet: Careful, you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!Crosseyed Gunner: [lifts helmet, revealing that he's crosseyed] Sorry, sir! I'm doing my best!Dark Helmet: ... Who made that man a gunner?Crosseyed Major: I did, sir. [also crosseyed] He's my cousin.Dark Helmet: [to Sandurz] Who is he?Colonel Sandurz: He's an Butthole, sir.Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?Colonel Sandurz: That is his name, sir. Butthole, Major Butthole.Dark Helmet: ... And his cousin?Colonel Sandurz: He's an Butthole too, sir. Gunner's mate, First Class, Philip Butthole.Dark Helmet: How many Buttholes have we got on this ship, anyhow?[The entire bridge crew, except for one person, stands up and raises a hand.]Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!Dark Helmet: I knew it, I'm surrounded by buttholes... [Closes helmet] Keep firing, buttholes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverDNA Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 I don't understand a word you're going on about, but I know exactly what you're saying and I refuse to apologize.Smith aka Clive Owen / Shoot 'Em Up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brokenergy Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Could not be bothered to write it all up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gormonk Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 yu-gi-oh abridged quote(note tristan is voiced by barny the purple dino) tristan and duke hanging of kiba's blimp wich is roughtly a third the size of his ego.... tristan:the sun will rise in a few hours.... duke devlin: what has that have do do with anything.... tristan:i don't know*slight pause* but its true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pyrosocial Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 "I don't have to out rn the bear, i just have to outrun you"-unknown(?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverDNA Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 "I don't have to out rn the bear, i just have to outrun you"-unknown(?)I guess all elves say that to a dwarf if it's going to get a little tougher.Why do they bother putting age restrictions on these things when all you have to do is click "yes, I am 18"? Even a 17 year old can figure it out.Dr. House AKA Hugh Laurie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surenas Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Even Dwarfs Started Small - Elven saying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krimzin Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 That still only counts as one!-Gimli, after Legolas kills a war elephant full of enemies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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