Critique?

[RobCoPublicReassurance]

Can anyone critique my RP thread? I need constructive criticism on the rules, backstory, gameplay, plot, and whatnot. It is an Elder Scrolls world RP, and the backstory is written in italic text.

 

Here's the link. http://www.thenexusforums.com/index.php?/topic/221217-undone-oblivion-rp/

 

Please critique, I need to know what could be improved/changed. Thanks!

[shadowmadnezz]

Sorry accidentally posted. Will be sending you character bio in a little.

 

Read the rules.

 

Whos magnus?

[RobCoPublicReassurance]

To learn that, I suggest you read the Oblivion book, A Child's Annuad. In fact, I think I will link that in the thread.

[shadowmadnezz]

Or you could just tell me... :)

[RobCoPublicReassurance]

Fine. :P

 

This is his entry from the wiki

 

 

The god of sorcery, Magnus withdrew from the creation of the world at the last second, though it cost him dearly. What is left of him on the world is felt and controlled by mortals as magic. One story says that, while the idea was thought up by Lorkhan, it was Magnus who created the schematics and diagrams needed to construct the mortal plane. He is sometimes represented by an astrolabe, a telescope, or, more commonly, a staff. Cyrodiilic legends say he can inhabit the bodies of powerful magicians and lend them his power. Associated with Zurin Arctus, the Underking. It is said that as he fled Mundus in the last of its birth-pains, he tore a massive hole in the fabric of Oblivion, leading to Aetherius. This hole is Nirn's sun, known itself as Magnus. He was followed shortly thereafter by the Magna Ge who formed the stars.

[Zephyr2011]

I personally think it's a fantastic RP concept the only thing (which is extremely nitpicky) is that the RP doesn't invite any villains. In most of my RPs I attempt to make sure that option is known however there is clear merit in not advertising it because the people who RP well as villains will request to be villains when they PM you their character sheets and you obviously don't want 20 has-been villains in an RP with 3 epic heroes in an RP about saving the world. The only reason I point this out is because if you don't have any person being a villain it may make the conflict extremely minimal and have less grandeur to the plot (after all a person putting thought and effort into their posts to be as evil and wicked as possible is far more interesting than a GM just saying "here's an evil creature/person/thingy, this is what it looks like, this is what it does, stop it") though again quality people interested in being villains will always ask to be so in their player sheets and those torn between being good or evil may make it known that they could be either depending upon demand (such as I will once I return from my little break). Other than that very minor detail it is a solid RP concept, the character sheet is good, no outrageous rules like some other RPs I've seen, no complete lack of rules, rather open concept but with enough structure to keep the plot rolling. I'm curious as to why you wanted critiqueing though. If you're wondering why the character bio sheets aren't pouring into your messenger it's because most of the RPers are gone or extremely busy. I know that atleast 3 of us will be gone next week, 3 that would like to be in the RP but haven't psted bios becausewe won't be available all next week and that can kill an RP in the early stages. I hope all my comments have helped good luck in all your future RPing endeavors and you'll be getting a bio sheet from me in a week.

[RobCoPublicReassurance]

Yeah, I guess you are right about the "villains" thing. The main issue there is that Lorkhan wants everyone and everything related to Mundus to be eliminated, so there is really no way to ally with him. Of course, if you want to try to use the political instability caused by a disaster of this magnitude to put yourself in power, then that would be another story. You are right about the whole villains thing, though. Any idea how I could fix that without fundamentally altering the plot?

[Zephyr2011]

Like I said before it's rather nitpicky of me to point that out and sometimes depending upon the plot if you mention tht there can be more evil characters then you end up with the aforementioned 20 terrible villains and 3 epic (or terrible) heroes running around destroying the plot. If you want there to be more diversity then put in a blerb in the storyline that some curropt and wicked beings in both Oblivion and Mundus see the opportunity that the chaos has given them and lust for power or somat like that and in the general concept thing put something in that says something about being able to be one of the sick twisted people trying to gain power through the crisis but the number is limited or something. (I'd like to put an early bid on that :biggrin: ) along those lines.

[RobCoPublicReassurance]

Nice idea. I'll put that in there. ;)

[RobCoPublicReassurance]

Sorry for the double-post, but can I get any further critique on my game? I've noticed more activity in the RP section, but no one seems interested in my RP.