"Blood, Sweat and Tears"

[frakle]

well i mostly just read some graphic novels like Watchmen (very good by the way, everyone must read it) or V for Vendetta, and things like Stephen King and Dean Koontz, but I read most of the stuff i can get my hands on that doesn't look dumb

[Ithildin]

I guess I better start writing the next part. I'm almost more excited to finish this story up and create the alter egos of these characters for the original fiction I mentioned some posts ago.

I'm certain I'm not the only follower of your work who's thrilled to hear it; you have a gift, a flair for writing, and I'm glad you chose to share it with us!

[AliasTheory]

…Okay. It's been a while, hasn't it?

 

So I'm not entirely interested in writing the rest of this...and it would take a while. *cue gasp* Since I've basically got the story down already (and have since December 2010,) I'd like to move on and make something larger and grander. This piece of fanfiction was more of an experiment, and now that I understand what I should and shouldn't be doing, I think I'm ready to start something purely original. However, I suppose I should say the rest of what happens here.

 

When the story last left off, the gang presumably left Underworld. All the components for the purifier are in hand and everyone is ready to head back.

 

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW (duh)

 

 

 

Chapter 31:

 

The next chapter was planned to be mostly filler to help maintain the overall pace of the story. Whereas the other characters are fairly well-developed at this point, Saya was the only character that failed to truly advance or change in character, so I wanted to further address this. At heart, she is innocent, cowardly and hopelessly optimistic; my plan was to have Drew see her drawings and personal writings through the paper using the dim fire light of the metro. Saya's drawings range from flowers, clouds, rainbows - all hopelessly childlike things. The last picture Drew notices is what is presumably a family of three individuals with a child in the middle, but the catch is this picture is more of a dark, ambiguous shadow rather than the clearcut images before. The honest Saya sits in a far corner while all this happens, but the illumination of her drawings further shows her inability to effectively conceal and hide her feelings, as demonstrated in the past. When Butch peers over her shoulder - to much of her surprise - he asks her why the two taller people in the trio lack faces, and Saya responds saying she doesn't remember what her parents look like.

 

Chapter 32:

 

Everyone goes back to the purifier, and everyone immediately starts work putting things back together. Lyn gives everyone directions on what to do. When Drew recalls how Lyn mentioned the existence of blueprints to the purifier, he asks her why she doesn't just give everyone the blueprints to make the job easier. She then quickly claims how she forgot to mention that they were destroyed in the partly-witnessed battle of the Super Mutants. Lyn says because of everyone's hard work, she'll go to the bottom of the purifier and do most of the fixing.

 

The purifier would, according to the existing plan, 1) destroy the Enclave's plans for using it for some biological weapon and 2) allow Lyn to fulfill her father's dream. When the party approaches the glass doors of the purifier, Lyn steps inside to punch in the activation code, but the door violently closes shut behind her. When Saori asks what is going on, Lyn asks Drew if he knows why the Enclave never attacked them the entire time. She draws a small vile out of her pocket, which Drew in his shock notes to be the exact same vile seen in the very first chapters by Colonel Autumn. Butch charges forward in assault, but the glass door prevents him from stopping the activation in conjunction with the toxin. Lyn had betrayed the party, and in her words, what had really happened was Project Purity was rigged by the party – it was already fixed! Over the PA, the loudspeakers boom with the voice of President John Henry Eden. His voice echoes through the Enclave Eyebots in the Fallout 3 canon and in this story, through which he claims to be the President of the United States. Eden makes that same claim here, congratulating Lyn on sensibly following orders, unlike Colonel Autumn, who is described as blindly loyal as a dog. Eden states that the mysterious Auprets were key to the success of the mission, as because Drew and Lyn both have one, they quickly established a mental bond. It is the reason the original four magically meet up with her. Eden had predicted the arrogant downfall of Lyn, and therefore had her recruit her much more stable counterpart. Whereas Lyn is more emotionally sensitive and instinctive as a result of the device (which occasionally manifests itself in odd speech,) Drew is more emotionally insensitive and relies less on instinct. That makes him more objectified and ideal.

 

Saya asks Lyn why she betrayed them, and Lyn says that Eden promised her that the Enclave could resurrect her father - James - if she fulfilled this task. Butch yells that Eden is a downright liar, and he soon proves to be correct; the toxin goes out the plant and its fumes fill the inside of the glass chamber. Lyn gradually weakens, saying "It wasn't supposed to end like this," going unconscious. Eden laughs and says that the Enclave can finally come out of hiding after what destruction happened in the earlier chapters. The toxin in the water would soon spread it to all of the Wasteland, and those with even an tiny ounce of radiation in them would die - meaning nearly everyone, as Drew stated in the past.

 

Eden says that the Enclave is approaching the purifier to exterminate the four, Vertibirds zooming overhead. In concern for their own health, the four begin to run to the exit. Just before they make it to the door, Drew commands everyone to stop, and considers how Lyn had her heart in the right place and wasn't truly evil; she only wanted her own father back. Lyn had even saved him and Saori back in Underworld when they crossed the bridge. After all, all four of them knew her since their childhoods. With all this said, Drew request that they go back and try to save her. The remaining three do not agree, and Drew insists he'll go alone, which then prompts them all to go.

 

At the double fork in the facility's pathways, Saori declares using the Stealth Boy to go around the opposition while the remaining three try to retrace their steps. Saori in her veil then fades to nothingness. Just before they execute the plan and depart, Saori tells Drew to wait a moment. He turns around to feel her fall into his arms and they kiss, realizing this may be the end for all of them. She then gives him special armor-piercing rounds she had found back at Underworld.

 

There is a long firefight with Enclave troops that ensues as Butch, Saya and Drew fight their way back to Lyn. Along the way, Drew is charged by an Enclave soldier, and Saya screams in intervention, and subsequently sharp pain. Now on the ground, Drew glances up to see blood running down Saya's suit, with her hand clutched around a large blade of construction steel near her chest. He initially presumes she was impaled, but second inspection reveals she had run the Enclave soldier with the blade. Saya then states how she needs to be brave to help defend her friends, and that death may not be necessarily bad or even the end of everything, but rather inevitable. She confidently urges Butch and Drew to go on without her, as she will defend this front.

 

Another wave of enemies and another fight. Butch finishes off the last soldier and kneels over the body as Drew races into the purifier room. Drew turns around and asks Butch to hurry it up. Butch then replies saying how he isn't a psychotic, blood-thirsty murderer as he now recognizes that all these soldiers were real people, and had their own families and friends. The soldiers fight not because they may necessarily believe in the cause; war is fought by the young and led by the old. Eden is the real madman. He tells Drew to go on and he'll defend this point.

 

Drew eventually sees Lyn in the glass chamber. He doesn't know whether she can still truly be saved or not, but regardless he smashes the glass chamber and carries her out of the room. He reunites with Butch and Saya along the way back. When they get back to the fork, a soft touch on his shoulder scares him into drawing his gun towards a near-invisible and glass-like Saori. She mentions that she was also able to plant charges around the entire building during this time.

 

"You've got to be kidding me!"

 

The charges go off, destroying the rest of the purifier and the four escape with Lyn.

 

Chapter 33:

 

The story picks up again a week later. The chapter opens with a lighthearted scene of the four characters in a dark room in the Brotherhood of Steel's Citadel (the formerly the Pentagon), where they sit on a shredded couch in front of a glowing television screen playing a video game. In a 1v1 bout, Saori stands up and squeals in victory against Drew, who wonders how she can win when she only mashes buttons and has no idea what she is actually doing. When Saya and Butch argue with Saori about who should play next, the Brotherhood lead, Elder Lyons, breaks them up with his booming voice. Although old and graying, he is still in command of the Brotherhood of Steel for all of the East Coast, and is truly the polar opposite to the Enclave's John Henry Eden. Lyons once again immensely thanks the four for doing what they did back in chapter 32. Lyn was unconscious for the week but has just regained her sense of self. The events of chapter 32 had shown that the Enclave is not a ghost that is spoken across the Capital Wasteland but is in fact real and in the flesh. The Vertibirds and soldier corpses sprawled all over the remains of Project Purity left no doubts in the Brotherhood's minds. Therefore, the Brotherhood of Steel is ready to fight this opposition - and has been more than willing to house the four heroes.

 

It is suggested that the four see Lyn now in the hospital wing, where the Elder's daughter, Sarah Lyons, is keeping her company. (Sarah so far has been seen in the commentary on the log file chapters.) When they meet up with a bedridden Lyn, she says how she didn't really want to follow through with the betrayal, and thanks them for saving her life. All four characters are silent and display animosity towards her. She turns away, already understanding of her Aupret mental condition, and mentions how she became involved with the Enclave. After she went to Canterbury to take residence there, her explorations led her to be captured by the Enclave following the true restoration of Project Purity with her father. (Lyn’s timeline follows the actual Lone Wanderer’s timeline, who eventually reunited with his/her father James, who was killed by the Enclave as this time.) The Enclave only needed the activation code, which was being erroneously requested by the Vault Wanderers in Chapter 1; Lyn had the code, and the deal was the code and Lyn’s efforts for her father’s revival. This deal was made with Eden, of course. Aside from the history, Lyn can tell the Brotherhood how to destroy the Enclave, "those traitors." If the Brotherhood of Steel is as strong as it claims to be, divulging the location of the Enclave base should be enough to destroy the Enclave. She will admit this location - in a bit.

 

There is a small scene with Sarah Lyons and Drew in the lunch room. In canon, Sarah Lyons is the young, noble, courageous lion (metaphorically speaking) who is willing to die for what she defends for. As a soldier, she is also very serious and "all business." In this story, she is a minor character who essentially represents the moderately-experienced young adult who doesn't know what to do with her life, and is not the soldier character at all. She doesn't want to work in the libraries and archives all day, which she calls an "autonomous, brain-dead craft fit for a cog." Instead she would like to work for the Brotherhood's Intelligence. Drew tells her that you should do whatever you want to do. After all, "If you love work, you'll never have to work another day in your life."

 

Lyn later is shown an electronic map in the briefing room with the eyes of the Brotherhood and the Vault Wanderers upon her. She mentions that this is only a map of the local area, and the sector which the Enclave resides in is even more distant. Upon being shown an expanded map, she points to a small sector farther northeast - slightly offshore - where the Enclave has established a similar underground base akin to Raven Rock.

 

Chapter 34:

 

Lyn decides to help fight for cause, saying that she brought about the conflict, and therefore she should aid in ending it. The Brotherhood of Steel and its brute force methods make short work of the main but concealed Enclave entrance, but the fight with the Enclave troops is fierce, and basically evenly matched. Gruesome details litter the scene, and Eden is taking notes, watching their every move.

 

Lyn knows the way to Eden’s room where they made their deal. Deep inside the Enclave base, the five along with a group of Brotherhood of Steel members venture into a dome-shaped room which is suspiciously empty. When everyone is completely contained, the doors all around slam shut and Eden’s voice booms once again. Angry with the survival of our four original heroes, he rambles on about how the Enclave should be the rulers of the Capital Wasteland and all of the United States, since the Enclave is the only “pure” population of human beings left. (In reality, even they have been contaminated by radiation.) He boasts how the Enclave will live on, and suddenly, Drew falls under Eden’s spell; his hair-tearing headache is due to a mind-controlling device. Eden had known about this technology! Because Drew contains the logic half of this Aupret technology, he must resist succumbing to Eden’s will and following through with his evil logic. Drew nearly shoots Lyn, but his three friends restrain and disarm him, preventing Eden from further interfering. The four of them tell Lyn to go on and finish off Eden with the rest of the Brotherhood.

 

Chapter 35:

 

The layout for 35 is identical to the other log chapters I had written, where there is mainly voiceovers with a script-style writing. The identities for the female voice and the male voice are now very clear, Lyn and Eden respectively.

 

There is a comment by Sarah Lyons at the top, saying that she has no comments about this.

 

Lyn begins by saying how the both of them meet once again, and how she is going to destroy Eden, “you terrible machine.” Eden simply laughs, and Lyn goes on further (re)stating how President John Henry Eden, just like in the actual Fallout 3 canon, is not a person but is instead an intelligent computer program who has taken on the personality of famous presidents in the country’s history. (Note: the original four characters never discover this fact.) Eden mocks Lyn, denying the mentioned fact.

 

From here there is a pause. Then Lyn apparently and suddenly changes the topic to questioning Eden’s ability to feel emotion. Eden responds by saying he can feel emotions just fine, and does his best to imitate various emotional inflections in his voice. Lyn then accuses Eden of not being human, because he lacks a human form. Eden admits not having a human form, but that doesn’t make him any less human; his logic, thought process and emotional capacity says otherwise, and that, he says, defines him. Finally Lyn asks Eden about his ideology for a superior race. She asks why the Enclave deserves to live on while everyone else dies, and Eden responds with the same old, “Because we are pure.” This, according to Eden, allows for a fresh and ideal start for the country again, since those impure are considered unintelligent and incorrigible, and thus cannot contribute to a budding new society. Assuming his words are true, Lyn subsequently asks how impurity implies the lack of intelligence and inability to contribute, citing Drew, Saori, Butch and Saya as examples. “You’ve been watching us this entire time,” she tells Eden. “What *can* you see through that tiny floating eye (Eyebot) of yours? Why would they be so?”

 

Eden responds by saying the exact same thing as before. In identical fashion to the Lone Wanderer in the actual canon, Lyn points out Eden’s circular logic, leading to Eden’s eventual self-destruction.

 

As the room crumbles from above and the voices fade to static, Lyn says the following:

 

“Let me make something clear to you; you imposture; you enslaver. You’re dead to me, and now you’re dead to everyone. You take away my future, and I’ll take away yours just as easily. But you know what? The truth never stays hidden. Not for long. The entire Capital Wasteland will know of your former cult soon enough. May not one remember your name.”

 

Chapter 36:

 

Approximately a couple days have passed since the destruction of the Enclave base. The five are outside Galaxy News Radio, where Three Dog will break the news to the rest of the populace of the preceding events. They have travelled through the DC metro with Brotherhood of Steel escorts. Lyn asks Drew for one more personal confrontation apart from the other characters, and they welcomingly agree.

 

Lyn feels unsure about the possibility of giving a clear, unbiased view of the events that have passed. Understanding her condition, she does not feel that doing such a thing is possible, if the technology skews her perception. Drew tries to reassure her, but she has her doubts. Describing her feelings of guiltiness, misery, fatherlessness but now completion, she tells Drew that the VATS machine that failed to do its primarily visual function for most of the story is still linked to her mind. Perhaps he would be a better, more honest storyteller than her.

 

“I feel at ease now,” she says.

 

Lyn then draws her handgun and loads a single round. Drew asks what she is doing, and Lyn just responds saying “You were a good friend.” A gunshot goes off.

 

(Note: She dies. You could say that Lyn succumbed to her own emotions and bias, having a false perception that her own perception would be skewed, when perhaps she could have easily filled the “honest storyteller” role. Her values are in the right place, but as usual may be too quick to judge, or may simply seek restful closure.)

 

Epilogue:

 

A month later…

 

Drew is in a study room back in Megaton over a dim lamp and a bunch of papers. Saori happily arrives with a plate of breakfast and kisses him on the cheek, her first words being to get some fresh air. Upon inspection of all the papers, Saori then sighs, asking what is keeping Drew so busy these past few nights. He responds by saying that he would like to settle down and do some writing.

 

“Don’t you think everyone in the Wastes deserves to know the truth? The radio can only say so much.”

 

He scribbles a few more things down. Saori looks over his shoulder, recites the words he just wrote and laughs, saying how he’d be a lousy writer.

 

“’ Our small, lowly campsite has been transformed into what could even be described as a majestic--‘ Psh. Some poet you are. Where would you even print a book, anyway?”

 

“Ah, I suppose the comic press nearby the wharf seemed like a good start.”

 

After some more consideration, Saori then out loud concludes from additional writing that Drew wants to be more of an educator rather than a writer, and he agrees. But she then warns him that sometimes ideas aren’t so well received and even an opinion could put him in danger, especially if some trigger-happy Raiders decided to go on a killing spree. He says not to worry though, since he wouldn’t be putting his name on the book anyway. He’d put a penname. They wouldn’t know, and he’d be safe, but who would others know who to thank, exactly?

 

“That’s stupid. I mean, being safe and all is good…but…don’t you want *real* credit?”

 

“Well, sure I do.”

 

“How is anyone going to know, Drew? You do dumb things sometimes.”

 

“ I dunno; I’d say it’s pretty obvious.”

 

 

 

Well, that's the end. Hope you all enjoyed everything I had actually written thus far, even if I think all of it was a fairly slapdash and amateur attempt! As you can all tell, I don't know how to properly update and maintain my own thread!

Edited January 16, 2012 by AliasTheory

[Ithildin]

Honestly, your synopses were worth the wait; I love unpredictable endings. Sure wish Nexus would let us give more than one kudo. :biggrin:

[Keanumoreira]

Alias....(and I'm saying this as your friend) shut up. ;D

 

Dude, what you have here is far from amateur. You have excellent storytelling, character development, and suspense skills. The only problem you have is the time to sink into your stories, and timing. That's completely understandable with where you are in your life at the moment, so that will fix itself. That only leaves your timing (when to present chapters; that's it). What I've been doing as of late is writing out most of my story (mine is a short story, so it's feasible for me) and then releasing the events where I feel they fall in place. This is more difficult for larger novels (yours especially, I mean 32 chapters? Wow.), but that's not to say that it's impossible. These are things that can easily be fixed. You have demonstrated remarkable talent in the first stages on the road to being a professional writer. Keep adding to that, and there's no doubt that you'll be one someday. It's my dream to follow in those footsteps, so if it isn't yours, then mark my words: the gift is there. Open it.

Edited January 16, 2012 by Keanumoreira

[AliasTheory]

Thanks a bunch, you two. I thought how terribly-received my lack of personal enthusiasm for my own work would be. I literally wrote the above summaries in a single sitting, so there may be typos and more importantly, some loose ends that have not been tied up. If there are any other questions, then anyone can feel free to ask them here. (Also more constructive comments.)

 

As you all might be able to tell, I completely robbed you guys of the unpredictable chapter 32.

 

Also, I suppose the original four Vault Wanderers do discover the fact, given what happens in the epilogue (see chapter 35, end of third paragraph for what I'm talking about.) The fact is not discovered in the timeline of the entire chronicled story -- that's really what I'm getting at.

[Keanumoreira]

Thanks a bunch, you two. I thought how terribly-received my lack of personal enthusiasm for my own work would be. I literally wrote the above summaries in a single sitting, so there may be typos and more importantly, some loose ends that have not been tied up. If there are any other questions, then anyone can feel free to ask them here. (Also more constructive comments.)

 

As you all might be able to tell, I completely robbed you guys of the unpredictable chapter 32.

 

Also, I suppose the original four Vault Wanderers do discover the fact, given what happens in the epilogue (see chapter 35, end of third paragraph for what I'm talking about.) The fact is not discovered in the timeline of the entire chronicled story -- that's really what I'm getting at.

 

Oh, I get ya, because it's being written from Drew's standpoint, however, he was never meant to know that Eden was a corrupted A.I with a presidential persona, but then again, how could he explain that Lyn knew this secret and took it with her to the grave, if he never discovered that fact? Well, you could twist it around and say that only he and Lyn knew it (she explaining Eden's true identity before she blows her brains out) or, go on to say that Drew did know, but for some reason, he would never admit it directly, but, left clues for the reader to hint at it (you know, something to pick our brains as the novel closes). Also, there's one more problem. You mentioned that Drew was afraid to reveal his identity, however, his name is-of course-mentioned in the story. It's from HIS standpoint. We know he's the author. So, wouldn't that just be redundant unless you also fixed this?

Edited January 17, 2012 by Keanumoreira

[AliasTheory]

Oh, I get ya, because it's being written from Drew's standpoint, however, he was never meant to know that Eden was a corrupted A.I with a presidential persona, but then again, how could he explain that Lyn knew this secret and took it with her to the grave, if he never discovered that fact? Well, you could twist it around and say that only he and Lyn knew it (she explaining Eden's true identity before she blows her brains out) or, go on to say that Drew did know, but for some reason, he would never admit it directly, but, left clues for the reader to hint at it (you know, something to pick our brains as the novel closes). Also, there's one more problem. You mentioned that Drew was afraid to reveal his identity, however, his name is-of course-mentioned in the story. It's from HIS standpoint. We know he's the author. So, wouldn't that just be redundant unless you also fixed this?

 

1) Look at the older log chapters. There needs to be some assumption such that the memories or scenes only involving Lyn were translated into an audio format. Drew is seen with the physical tapes at the end, and the older logs reveal that the Brotherhood is involved in this separate technology.

 

2) Just because the first person 'I' is used does not imply he is necessarily the author of this story. I can write this story as a piece of fiction and still assume the role of another character, and write from his/her first person perspective. Nowhere is it implied that within the realm of this universe that the story is nonfiction (meaning it could very well be a fictional fiction), and as far as you know, the purpose of the story is to "educate." But I suppose since you've read everything, it's "obvious."

[Keanumoreira]

Oh, I get ya, because it's being written from Drew's standpoint, however, he was never meant to know that Eden was a corrupted A.I with a presidential persona, but then again, how could he explain that Lyn knew this secret and took it with her to the grave, if he never discovered that fact? Well, you could twist it around and say that only he and Lyn knew it (she explaining Eden's true identity before she blows her brains out) or, go on to say that Drew did know, but for some reason, he would never admit it directly, but, left clues for the reader to hint at it (you know, something to pick our brains as the novel closes). Also, there's one more problem. You mentioned that Drew was afraid to reveal his identity, however, his name is-of course-mentioned in the story. It's from HIS standpoint. We know he's the author. So, wouldn't that just be redundant unless you also fixed this?

 

1) Look at the older log chapters. There needs to be some assumption such that the memories or scenes only involving Lyn were translated into an audio format. Drew is seen with the physical tapes at the end, and the older logs reveal that the Brotherhood is involved in this separate technology.

 

2) Just because the first person 'I' is used does not imply he is necessarily the author of this story. I can write this story as a piece of fiction and still assume the role of another character, and write from his/her first person perspective. Nowhere is it implied that within the realm of this universe that the story is nonfiction (meaning it could very well be a fictional fiction), and as far as you know, the purpose of the story is to "educate." But I suppose since you've read everything, it's "obvious."

 

Okay, well, there's no clear indication that Lyn's personal experience would be put to audio. The way I read it, you were trying to find a way to work around what you described as "I suppose the four original Vault Wanders' do discover the fact", and I saw it as something you didn't know how to fix.

 

As for the second part, I have no idea what you are talking about. I get your first two points. Yes, I guess this could all be written out as some of the others' memories of Drew or through some piece of audio, but still, there was never any implication that there would be. Again, I assumed for lack of appropriate judgement. The rest completely loses me.

[AliasTheory]

Check Chapter 28 for the whole memories deal, particularly Sarah's comments in the italics.

 

I say you are thinking too hard. Though I suppose if you really wanted to take it another step further, you could say that audio transcription could eclipse itself. However, what I am saying is that there may be someone within this story's universe that could have followed the same principle I have (ie: writing a first person perspective piece of "fiction," where 'I' is not necessarily the actual author.) Suppose one of the many books were to land in the hands of some character in BS&T's version of Rivet City. It is possible to make the initial assumption that the book is fiction, when I think we can say it really isn't. (If this hypothetical character made the connection between the historical acts of the wandering Enclave Eyebots, how the Enclave crisis just ended and coincidental arrival of the book telling of its defeat, I think it is safe to say it would be nonfiction.) But would a savage, bloodthirsty raider figure this all out? Maybe not.

 

[EDIT]

 

I put an index on the first page, OP. It has moved away from my profile page. I also added the summaries at the very end.

Edited January 19, 2012 by AliasTheory