Taken

[Keanumoreira]

Chapter 2: Lineage

 

“Our DNA functions as an archive. It contains not only genetic instructions passed down from previous generations, but memories as well. The memories of our ancestors…"

 

“He’s too unstable…this is clearly not worth our time.”

 

“Not worth our time? We went through all that trouble to retrieve him; stole the lives of others, and now you’re deciding to chicken out?”

 

“Mrs. Valois, I guarantee you that there must be someone else we can use…”

 

“There’s not. We have no concrete files on other citizens, and the brotherhood is broken and distributed. They simple won’t be of help.”

 

“Have you scanned our-“

 

“Yes…I have. The closest thing I can find is a courtesan living in Spain, and a downtrodden doctor searching through the common lands of the Netherlands in need of patients to feed his family. He has a direct connection with her; he is Joan’s direct descendant. We have no other leads…he must help us…he has to.” Nixor could hear this conversation, the two between those who had held him where he rested now, as the effects of the analgesic drug had begun to wear thin.

 

“Who…uhhh…who’s there?” He uttered weakly, attempting to move his jelly like legs, softened by the chemical.

 

The two strangers came to his side, the white robed women smiling warmly for a brief moment, before going to find her laptop, most likely where she typed up her findings.

 

“Ahhh…he’s finally awake.” Nixor looked up at him weakly, still unable to move his feet or to even try and stretch his back.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

“Tired…confused…”

 

“Yes…of course. No doubt you have a lot of questions.” He sat down on the side of the stone slab his guest had been laying on, sipping his unflavored coffee in a most unusual mug, the kind that looked foreign.

 

Maybe it was the complicated collage of meticulously crafted symbols on the side, but it mattered little in the whole scheme of things.

 

“Don’t worry Nixor; we’re you friends, we are your family…” Nixor wondered if he meant “the” family, the kind of family only he and a few select others truly knew about.

 

“You’re both…”

 

“Assassins.” The white robed woman answered for him,

 

“Trained in the ancient ways to safe guard humanities freedom…just like you.”

 

“No! Not just like me. I’ve abandoned that life many years ago…I’m not going back.”

 

“Nixor please…” She placed her arm on his compassionately, joining Leo on the slab next to him, only a few more inches off the edge,

 

“Hear us out. My name is Victoria Valois, and this is Leo Moore. We have concerns about our “rivals”, who are on the move once again and are threatening the entire creed. Do you know of them?”

 

“Yes…they are the Templar’s:

 

The

 

Erratic and

 

Misguided

 

Peoples of

 

Little care

 

And

 

Reasoning against the people and the

 

System.

 

 

They work hard to unravel our society, to build a dystopia in the eyes of the masses that is based off their own cruelty and selfish goals. They seek only to harm us…as they’ve done for the past one thousand years of history from then until now. WE are sworn to protect others against them, us the Assassins, the:

 

Assembly of

 

Sincere

 

Social

 

And

 

Solo-creed individuals against

 

Sinister

 

Injustices

 

Not deemed

 

Safe

 

The only thing that stands between a free world and a Templar one…”

 

“Then you will help us; knowing who they are and their true intentions.”

 

“No, I won’t. That life…all that pressure and lifelong training, the blood on my hands and on my robes…the sick incisions of my hidden blade thrust through their necks…the knowledge of ending a life…” He could sit up now, sorting out the knots in his spine and neck in banded cracks,

 

“It’s not the life I asked for. I wanted to settle down, find a wife and produce her children, to live young and die old; just like everyone else.”

 

“You’ll find that not everyone is who they seem to be Nixor…” Leo pointed out, taking another sip,

 

“You of all people should know that. Certainly, the death of your parents should have stirred your memory…”

 

“Now Leo wait; let’s not go too far…” Victoria reminded him as she lined herself up to his rehearsed pacing,

 

“We don’t need to throw everything onto him. Personal agenda was not part of the plan.”

 

“How do you know about that? About my parents?” He was suspicious now, and even though he trusted them and the other members, this was still privileged information he worked tediously to hide, for someone, as Leo was doing now, could use it to their advantage.

 

“We know everything…we hear everything…yet unseen, unheard. For an assassin you aren’t too familiar with the basic ways are you?”

 

“I told you, I abandoned all of that.”

 

“But it’s in your blood, laced in your memories…”

 

“What memories?” His mind went back to his early years…the reactions deep within his subconscious replaying the smell of new cut grass, or the sweet blossom of the cherry, spring wind.

 

It was a night he would never forget, sitting there on the maple swing, gently going back and forth under the starry night, his mother in mid lullaby. The silence is shattered by the crack of a bullet ripping off the tiles of the frosty breathed roof, slipping and separating before them both.

 

His mother tells him to run inside as strange auroras emerge from over the hilly plains, and the birds of the night, sensing the approaching evil, escape into airborne herds. His father tosses her a cupped sheathed blade-as he described it- and climbed to the base of the brick chimney, the sounds of their footsteps clanking above his head. It isn’t long before another footstep gains chase, and then another, and then four and then six and then ten…each ending in groans of skillful play. But as the army of feet grow louder and triumphant, he listens to the split action timing that has came to two fatalities…two who he thought would never die, their bodies smashing a hole in a heap of white dust and plaster, their lifeless vessels naked of movement. He waits in tightened bones before they leave in satisfied boasts, his eyes welling up as he hangs over his deceased parents, slowly caressing that cupped sheathed blade in sprinkled tears…

 

His head props up, remembering that this is twenty years past…

 

“Those…were the only ones I had that I care to think about. All those resulting cover ups and mass media that centered on it all…the way they hammered me with questions and proposals; sometimes I wish I could forget it. Then the creed took me in, gave me no time to adjust or to mourn, said that a hardened heart makes you forget such things. Helps you focus on the mission at hand…Not the kind of memories I want to recall.”

 

“Heh…heh…heh…” Nixor turns over to his hinting chuckles, which seemed rude and inappropriate given such a morbid and heart to heart story,

 

“That, my boy, is only half of what you know.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“What if I were to tell you that your understanding of memory is only half of the definition? Memory, my boy, is what you know to be the capability to find and unscramble a past event as the individual has lived it. That is only part of what they will tell you. Do you see the table you are currently sitting on?” Nixor gazed down at its odd, sleek edges, and the slight droning it would give off here and there.

 

“This Nixor, is called an Animus. It is a very advanced, highly complicated device that has one, and only one purpose imbedded into its programming. To scan and to read genetic memory.”

 

“Genetic memory…the idea that memory is passed on from parent to offspring in a reoccurring cycle?”

 

“Precisely. That little dream you had was no dream at all; you were reliving the memories of one of your Ancestors. She has valuable information we need.” It all sounded correct and structured, but his doubts still stayed firm.

 

The years after his parent’s death taught this ex assassin one moral in life: Never trust a body you haven’t stabbed. A most redundant standard to be true, but the basic point was clear and understandable.

 

“I still don’t want to do it, this is not what I want to become.”

 

“Nixor.” Veronica came to call again,

 

“You know of what the Templar’s will do if we don’t stop them, you know of the world that will cease to exist. Even if you choose not to help us, without you, it won’t be long before your way of life will be forced upon you again. You have a choice to walk out that door, and wave us goodbye, but in doing so, so will the lifestyle you have come to prefer. The facts that are lodged in that head of yours is our only way out, you are the key to bringing us one step forward in our quest to form a world peace. At least stay for the afternoon and see for yourself, judge what you will and make a final decision. But it’s up to you to decide what to do…” He was still against it along every fiber of his being, self-taught that this was a suicide life from the very beginning.

 

But there was also the curiosity of what his past lives were like, how his ancestors came to forge the future he became a part of. Perhaps there, among the sheets of neuron history, he could find a better meaning of all his troubles. Maybe, in a sense, to find a better life, if only for awhile; one session couldn’t hurt.

 

“Fine.” He reluctantly agreed,

 

“I’ll undergo this system of time travel.” He laid back down on the stone surface of the Animus as Victoria set up the memory scan process via a computer at its very foot.

 

“Good, then let’s get started.” Leo positioned himself at a desk overlooking a stretching skyline of a multilayered city, each closely hugging themselves in countless complexes and winding streets, paved with rush hour.

 

“Alright Nixor, just relax and lay still. Your mind will center within itself, as if nothing else around you is really there. This is where you will encounter the data stream of the timeline that the Animus is downloading into computer code before outlaying the environment. You will become nauseous and feel somewhat lightheaded, but it should pass. Ready?”

 

“Not really come to think of it…”

 

“Good; here we go…” In an instance, the pressing white walls seemed to close in, Victoria and Leo now only a blurred image.

 

The blue looms of light at the machines center intensified greatly, droning now giving way to roars of a freight train. All soon settled as his memories raced passed him in white, thin sheets, like an enclosed set of files, all around him.

 

“Can you hear me Nixor? Are you ready to proceed?” Her voice rang through the halls of pastime, as godly as this voyage was,

 

“Yes…” He gave a long, nervous breath.

 

“I’m ready.”

 

“Very well...Preparing memory sequence...” Everything suddenly rushed back behind him as if a wind had exploded in his face, recreating the Medieval setting of old, primitive France.

[AliasTheory]

Ubisoft did a masterful job with the Assassin's Creed storyline. I can't get enough of it...I found "The Truth" and everything without the aid of the interwebz. Was not caring about Brotherhood for a while, but now that I've seen a bit more since E3, it looks rock'in.

 

Let's see what I can say here. (Yes, I know. Lots of text. Be afraid. lol)

 

- Grammar errors and stuff. We all have them. I notice you make this particular one a lot:

 

“Now Leo wait; let’s not go too far…” Victoria reminded him as she lined herself up to his rehearsed pacing,"

 

In all your writings, I consistently see the comma being placed at the end. Move your finger one key to the right and hit the period key instead. :P When combining two words to make one word (jelly and like) use a hypen to make it so (jelly-like.) It then functions as an adjective, obviously.

 

- Your acronym is an interesting touch (TEMPLARS and ASSASSIN.) I'm not sure of your reasoning behind doing that, but maybe it'll become clearer as time goes on. Structure-wise, centering this in italics might be a cool touch. The acronym overall comes off as what might be described as even propagandistic. Because you stress this polarization between the two factions, I get the message, "If you're not one of us, you're one of them." This kind of classification may perhaps will tell more about the speaker in the future as well. :)

 

- Something important you may or may not already know is to "Show, don't tell." This composition mentality should not be applied in all instances, but I find it holds true. It basically says that you should let the words, actions and thoughts of a character speak for themselves, and not to simply recite/tell it from a narrative standpoint. I see some telling in here where I don't think there should be, mainly when you are introducing the intricacies of the Assassin's Creed universe. I guess I would say it is difficult because you are introducing the world AND the characters in the same line. I don't know enough about your characters since it appears you only have them exchanging dialog that is "telling." As a scientist exploring genetic memories (OMFG,) you might want to use an obsessive archetype or persona. That kind of technology is unprecedented and powerful; how might it be used, really? Other things you might want to add are more physical descriptions of the character's appearances and what they are doing. Your two "strangers" are faceless. =/ This idea also applies in argumentative writing; describe events to enhance your rhetoric and let them speak for themselves at times, then "tell" at the end. Someone who I've been told (and I think) does this well is MLK Jr.

 

- Finally, as a science fiction piece...THIS is my biggest problem with Assassin's Creed. It might be just me, but I don't think the game emphasized this part enough. If one is reliving a genetic memory, then how does the subject get a freedom of control? It would be like "time travel" as you say; some theorists say that one would only be witnessing past events, not being able to change them. One would not be able to see himself in the past unless he (in the past) had already see his future self. It is static, fixed. (Other theories that I've read involve being able to cross over to another dimension where things appear the same, thus giving freedom of control.) IMO, doing similar things that your ancestor did =/= reliving a memory.

 

I don't think this was your best writing, but you have quite the setup going on here. It'll get good. :)

Edited November 22, 2010 by AliasTheory

[Keanumoreira]

Ubisoft did a masterful job with the Assassin's Creed storyline. I can't get enough of it...I found "The Truth" and everything without the aid of the interwebz. Was not caring about Brotherhood for a while, but now that I've seen a bit more since E3, it looks rock'in.

 

Let's see what I can say here. (Yes, I know. Lots of text. Be afraid. lol)

 

- Grammar errors and stuff. We all have them. I notice you make this particular one a lot:

 

“Now Leo wait; let’s not go too far…” Victoria reminded him as she lined herself up to his rehearsed pacing,"

 

In all your writings, I consistently see the comma being placed at the end. Move your finger one key to the right and hit the period key instead. :P When combining two words to make one word (jelly and like) use a hypen to make it so (jelly-like.) It then functions as an adjective, obviously.

 

- Your acronym is an interesting touch (TEMPLARS and ASSASSIN.) I'm not sure of your reasoning behind doing that, but maybe it'll become clearer as time goes on. Structure-wise, centering this in italics might be a cool touch. The acronym overall comes off as what might be described as even propagandistic. Because you stress this polarization between the two factions, I get the message, "If you're not one of us, you're one of them." This kind of classification may perhaps will tell more about the speaker in the future as well. :)

 

- Something important you may or may not already know is to "Show, don't tell." This composition mentality should not be applied in all instances, but I find it holds true. It basically says that you should let the words, actions and thoughts of a character speak for themselves, and not to simply recite/tell it from a narrative standpoint. I see some telling in here where I don't think there should be, mainly when you are introducing the intricacies of the Assassin's Creed universe. I guess I would say it is difficult because you are introducing the world AND the characters in the same line. I don't know enough about your characters since it appears you only have them exchanging dialog that is "telling." As a scientist exploring genetic memories (OMFG,) you might want to use an obsessive archetype or persona. That kind of technology is unprecedented and powerful; how might it be used, really? Other things you might want to add are more physical descriptions of the character's appearances and what they are doing. Your two "strangers" are faceless. =/ This idea also applies in argumentative writing; describe events to enhance your rhetoric and let them speak for themselves at times, then "tell" at the end. Someone who I've been told (and I think) does this well is MLK Jr.

 

- Finally, as a science fiction piece...THIS is my biggest problem with Assassin's Creed. It might be just me, but I don't think the game emphasized this part enough. If one is reliving a genetic memory, then how does the subject get a freedom of control? It would be like "time travel" as you say; some theorists say that one would only be witnessing past events, not being able to change them. One would not be able to see himself in the past unless he (in the past) had already see his future self. It is static, fixed. (Other theories that I've read involve being able to cross over to another dimension where things appear the same, thus giving freedom of control.) IMO, doing similar things that your ancestor did =/= reliving a memory.

 

I don't think this was your best writing, but you have quite the setup going on here. It'll get good. :)

 

Yes the commas, I'm aware of those. Sometimes I'll add one, other times it'll be a period. ?_?

I'm still working it out, trying to get my brain to recognize and apply it. It'll change, I assure you.

 

The show and tell thing. I knew you would ask about this. The reason why there is more telling is because there is a bigger secret behind the story (which I will not reveal) so, Leo and Victoria, being part of the creed, will reveal a lot of information early on, but will generally slip into deeper secrets. It was a risk to do this, but I'm trusting my readers to look past this and just go with it. As Taken continues, more showing instead of telling will role in.

 

About reliving memories. It does make sense why Ubisoft did this. As you know, the butterfly effect exsists in their universe, which is why the machine has safe guards (Paradoxs, ect). Using this information, it is difficult to make a sense of direction I know, but for now, the only way I can find this possible is the manditory process of following the memory as it is happening. So, it would be impossible to have free movement, but not free thinking or free talking.

[AliasTheory]

You sure like quoting big blocks of text.

 

The one thing I think you should definitely work on though are the character descriptions. Otherwise you just have some voices in an empty void, which isn't the case here. Gotta give us something to look at, at least a starting point.

 

[EDIT]

 

Typos and grammar. Speak of the devil.

Edited November 22, 2010 by AliasTheory

[BlueDanube]

nice writing i'm history based novel fan myself,a little assasin creed touch makes it more interesting to read.

[Keanumoreira]

Thank you. :happy: