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Posted

Show him a Twilight book. He'll be overcome with grief at how the modern world thinks of him.

 

 

I've fallen out of an exploding airplane! It's still exploding, actually!

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Posted

Shoot one of them with a large calibre revolver, if it bleeds, ignore them both, if it asks you what in blazes you are doing, you know which is the right one.

 

 

Blasted bloody hell, there is a traffic jam and Im 44 minutes late already...

Posted

My bike is on fire. And I'm still riding it....

 

Yes, but you were in -50 Celcius, so it warmed you up.

 

I wish we terraformed Mars already, c'mon where's space travel?

 

Then buy an entire lifetime supply of gardening equipment. :laugh:

 

The moon is hurdling towards the Earth, but I want to live and I can't leave the planet.

Posted

Get ready with the crackers and pickle. It's made of cheese you know!

 

I've swallowed a wasp! What should I do?

Posted

Get ready with the crackers and pickle. It's made of cheese you know!

 

I've swallowed a wasp! What should I do?

 

I totally didn't think of that, and I'm a cheese lover common! :laugh:

 

Swallow lots and lots of whip cream, then drink some milk to water it down.

 

There's a mutant, self aware plant vine network growing rapidly out of control in my backyard.

Posted

No, you do have time to kill it you just didn't made it.

I have a man with a gun pointing at me to keep on typing, what should I do?

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