The Gift that Passes On

[Ranokoa]

I thank you, oh one who borne my insanity,

The one who helped to born me.

I shall take my gift of life happily,

And pass it on, from them to me,

And to the future, and all to see.

 

It is I who am now at burden to cradle,

To love and lust, and then settle in stable.

Past ones passing on, all living in fable,

From long ago to immediate biological label,

And now to myself, and from now to then as I am able.

 

Teachings given, lessons taught,

Passed down from the ones who now rot.

I shall do as had been done. Divert I shall not.

As when my gift by them was brought,

Fate's decision to pass it on had already been wrought.

 

My passing shall show this world so inane,

What it truly means to be born insane.

From my blood to theirs as an unbroken chain,

The world will suffer from our family bane,

Magniloquent, deathly terror, unable to ascertain.

 

And when they shall cease to be,

As it was passed from them to me,

And from me to the world to see,

They too shall pass the gift with glee,

Until there is no more, only insanity.

 

Kudos if you like it!

 

Be well, sleep well, fight well, live long.

~Ranokoa

[Keanumoreira]

Hmmm...

 

Interesting why this title has been choosen. Interesting in the fact that I've already written such a topic with the same name and subject, and yet here I find one before my eyes that doesn't belong to me.

 

I like the poem and the feeling behind it, but I do not appreciate that someone has stolen from my own work.

[Eiries]

It's very nice. I'm no master, but even one's lips can feel the transition you portray. It starts out soft, and gradually hints towards a darker side. The final section does a great job of summarizing and wrapping it up.

 

Fate's decision to pass it on had already been wrought.

This line is a bit harder to digest due to its length. I would simply cut out the "on." It might not be as grammatically correct, but grammar's very subjective when dealing with poetry, no?

 

Beautiful work, ranokoa. This paints quite a powerful picture in one's mind. :)

[Ranokoa]

I hadn't even read your work. Not that I'm uninterested, simply that I literally haven't read your work.

 

This poem was actually inspired by a different poem written by, what I assume to be my mother's friend long ago, that was of the same subject, but very uppity and nice, simply about life being passed down from mother to daughter. I had, in mind, more of a fatherly figure of the subject in mind, although personally have no appreciation for my own father, just simply as a subject.

 

I didn't "rip" from the inspired poem either, simply gave my appreciation for that work through this.

 

Worry not, I did not steal from you. I hate theft of any kind, especially when it comes to originality. This is not theft from you or them, simply, as I had said, a gift of appreciation that will more than likely never reach their eyes as I have NO idea who they are.

 

 

EDIT: If you wish you can report it to request the name to be changed to, "The Gift that Passes On". Although I believe that title to convey less about this than the previous. I meant no offense when using this name, my apologies for any grievance.

 

@Eiries: Thank you. There is actually one word I wish to change in this poem, but the editor is taking forever to load. I shall read it over again and if I feel it appropriate to do as you had suggested I shall. It just depends on how my personal taste decides it to be. I love critique, but only to further and best the next one to come, not to perfect an already existent. I just didn't do a lot of proof reading for this when I posted it, and unlike the others didn't use MS Word in case of a crash >_< (stupid, but thank god it didn't happen.) But your words are very much appreciated in all respects.

 

EDIT2: I decided against the change suggested, sorry. To me it just feels less.... fluid... without "on". Although I see your point.

[Eiries]

It's cool, dude. Thanks for sharing this. :)

[Keanumoreira]

I don't know whether to believe you or not, but I just want to make it clear that The Gift of Life was a very emotional poem for me to write because it involved the death of one of my friends who was very close to me. If you are indeed telling the truth then I am very sorry for accusing you of Plagiarism, its just that I work so hard when I actually do write just to get it noticed, and this was a special kind of work.

 

Now that I think of it, it does sound like it could have been an accident, but it is only natural that now I'm suspicious. But either way, I do like what you have written, another of those fine works I come across every once and awhile.

[Ranokoa]

@First Commenter

 

Just read your poem. I do, indeed, like it. I was worried for a bit that there were to be similarities in our poems that would cause further misunderstanding, but I am glad that not only is this not the case, but that this situation, whether unwanted or not, had brought me to read your poem.

[Keanumoreira]

@First Commenter

 

Just read your poem. I do, indeed, like it. I was worried for a bit that there were to be similarities in our poems that would cause further misunderstanding, but I am glad that not only is this not the case, but that this situation, whether unwanted or not, had brought me to read your poem.

 

Thanks.

 

I feel now that we should put this behind us, afterall, we do create works of art for one's enjoyment so why even get defensive right? I'm sorry if I was wrong, and now I'm just willing to put out the possibility that I was wrong. Let's just forget that this ever even happened, it's not worth fighting over.

[Ranokoa]

Lol. Apparently as I was typing my last response you had already written one. I will report it myself and ask for a name change. I am being honest when I say your poem had nothing to do with this one, but I'd rather keep the sentimentality of your pure than I would keep the title of this one just for how appropriate it is.

[Keanumoreira]

Lol. Apparently as I was typing my last response you had already written one. I will report it myself and ask for a name change. I am being honest when I say your poem had nothing to do with this one, but I'd rather keep the sentimentality of your pure than I would keep the title of this one just for how appropriate it is.

 

No it's okay, you can keep it if you want. If it brings satisfaction to those who read it then why bother? It may have been a personal loss, but I wouldn't want the death of my friend to have to alter the decision of someone who had nothing to do with it.

 

Seriously, it's nothing.