Will S

[Malchik]

I came across this article in The Islay Malt Whisky Federation of Stratford upon Avon Gazette and felt I should share it. Ms Grayvey is a little unkind on those who drink alcohol but other than that it makes interesting reading. She is their arts critic.

 

(I only drink grape juice myself. Fermented of course.)

 

"The Bard Today

 

by Mora Flavia Grayvey

 

August. A month in which nothing exciting ever happens unless George Bush has overindulged his pills again. So what should I talk about? Ah yes! The Bard! I know most of you will be away soaking up sun and scotch and generally corroding brain, liver and kidneys, but for those few of you still about who have more cultural awareness than a parboiled turnip (if any) I should tell you about Will.

 

He is our most famous playwrite and wherever you go throughout the UK you will find a school putting on one of his 76,564,829.7666 plays somewhere. So, the actors are juvenile (delinquents) and the audience is adoring mums, dads and other idiots. Even the worst actor cannot destroy the language of the bard himself. As your arts critic I have been forced - privileged - to sit through many of these - interesting productions. And I would like to demonstrate how fabulous the language remains even today by offering four of my favourite quotes. And I have just heard these very words in schools up and down the country.

 

Richard the Third

 

Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of Septim.

 

Mac (never say the rest it's unlucky) Witches scene

 

"Where hast thou been, sister?"

 

"Killing mudcrabs. Sister, where thou?"

 

Hamlet (the Great Dane)

 

To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of jolts and embers..."

 

And my own favourite, Measure for Measure

 

"Aye. But to die? And go we know not where. To lie in cold Oblivion and to rot!"

 

I hope this will encourage all of you to take a fresh look at the Bard.

 

Love and kisses,

 

Mora"

[VaanicOne]

I'm sure the more TES-saturated among us won't even notice what's wrong with that...

 

Very good, Malchick. :)