Driving me crazy

[Sunjah]

Wow, yes I was pissed and I vented. Then I get attacked for it. As I stated before, no one (that means NO ONE) should post on something they don't care about and are only sticking their 2 cents in to, well, feel important.

 

 

I speak clearly as well, so I am astounded that at least 2 different people don't understand that darn himself admitted in a post on his forum that the problem was a shadow should be false, not true. Once I did that, it worked. It had NOTHING to do with load order. The load order changed nothing, yet all people do is say, "See, your fault. Load order was your fault because you did it wrong." It had NOTHING to do with load order.

 

 

 

Of course, that was not what was said. One of the reasons I had a rant (yup, sure was) was that it had seemed like an eternity since anyone said anything; I spent 9 days trying to get this game to work, everything was on the verge of being perfect, save that one problem that made the game unplayable for me. I work with 9 and 10 year olds all day, and that is one thing I love about them. They are almost always void of this "We know what we are talking about, you don't, so think of us as superior and everything will be okay." The lack of help from this forum was astounding, as well as the common sense (like don't jump in and start insulting because someone chose to rant about a 9-day frustration that had nothing to do with you...well, the impression I get from this is the responders here feel everything is about them). If you didn't like what was said, you should have moved on, instead, you attacked, and this is what proceeded to happen. Seriously, you read this next statement and tell me it is not a direct insult/attack (whereas mine was a personal vent directed at someone or something I would probably never know, not attack an individual). Try and remove yourself from this situation, and read this at face value, and think honestly about what it says:

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm fairly confident that "Somewhere, somehow, in some way, some (beep) altered this without saying how or why, and now they are blocked." is Sunjah screwing up the installation. I could be wrong but I highly doubt it since these mods haven't changed in ages.

• FF Real Thirst: Hasn't changed since 2007
• Real Hunger: Hasn't changed since 2006
• Real Sleep: Hasn't changed since 2006

So the only other possibility for why it's not working properly? User error. So next time before you childishly lash out at others you may want to put yourself in check first." .

 

 

 

See, this quote sums up the problem from my viewpoint. It was condescending, insulting, demeaning and rude. When you tell someone what they did is wrong or how they should have done it correctly, you are incorrectly assuming a responsibility which is not yours: that is controlling another's actions. Speaking in the "I" will help so tremendously with any situation like this.

 

 

Here is an example, this is me speaking in the "I".

 

I was very frustrated, I ranted, yes I did. My whole reason for being here was a frustration which had lasted incredibly long, I couldn't figure out the problem and it frustrated me even more. In reality, I was more ranting towards modders who change things without saying they did (which you know happens) and with Bethesda for having such a wonderful game but not doing all these thing in them. That is why I came here, for help, then I got really frustrated, said I was frustrated and ranted, and for that I was insulted, demeaned and spoken to very accusingly and all of that not only did help my initial problem, they made me dislike some of the people in this forum.

 

 

 

 

Here is me speaking in the "me". (...and if you want to solve problems, this is about the worst way to go about it. I have a degree in psychology, do some research on it, if you want to truly affect change, the "I" format dwarfs this by comparison...)

 

 

 

That was really mean, and you guys are jerks. Yes, I was mad. But you should have never said that stuff. It was wrong. It didn't help either. If you guys want to help, help, do not insult me. That is just childish and cruel. I didn't insult anyone directly, so you shouldn't have done that either. I won't come back here because you guys are not behaving like you should. Help people, don't insult them.

 

 

 

 

 

Do you notice a huge difference in the approach and what the most likely reactions would be to each case above. I don't think it really takes too much to figure out which would work towards an understanding and which would further the problems. Now go back and read the post I copied. Pretty insulting and condescending, isn't it. Don't tell people what they should do, explain how what they did made an effect on you. It is incredible the difference it brings. I insulted no one directly, randomly shot my anger and frustration out, and for that I was insulting and attacked. That would lead me to believe that the person doing this did not have help as their interest, but did believe they had to attack someone to prevent a "trolling" incident. Simply saying, "Dude, it pisses me off when someone rants like that and I kind of take it personally," would have done a world more of what (seemed) to be desired. Instead, we get "User Error", "Sunjah screwed up loading order", " if anyone caused the shift in atmosphere from helpful to annoyed it was YOU " (which doesn't really make sense, because no one said anything helpful at all BEFORE my rant, so there was no atmosphere of helpfulness that existed; just one that you perceived to therefore make it easy to attack and blame a shift of atmosphere on me, but that is your choice to view it that way).

 

 

 

 

Can you really tell me these quotes are non-offensive? If I did offend anyone, why didn't you tell me that before you lashed out and attacked. I don't like to do this, but I will answer: because there is an air of superiority and "look down the nose" that is prevalant here. Not my choice, I would do it differently if it were me, but if you want to justify insulting and demeaning remarks, you can. All I know is that I got no help from this forum. I do apologize sincerely if my rant offended (maybe if someone told me it did, that would've changed at least one thing), but it was a frustration at loving this game and not being able to play, having problems with mods (don't tell me you haven't), and spending 9 days for a simple install (usually, say, 20 minutes for a large game). Anyway, I am saddened by this whole situation. It was unproductive for me, and I thoroughly regret posting from the responses I received (which, if you read back, offered absolutely no help, only comments such as "User error", "Sunjah screwed up the loading order", and "don't feed the trolls"...if that was you with a problem and you received those comments, would you feel helped?)

 

[by the way, I taught my kids about Pavlov and the dogs and conditioning and all of that stuff...they got it. A lot of things are (quite) possible if you take the right approach.]

Edited November 30, 2010 by Sunjah