Why are Aliens so stupid?

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“Days are like Nights. But not so late and a little less dark.” Someone once said to me while he was sorting out Peanuts in a Bar.

 

I was thinking about this Guy when i was woken up by a rather loud thud. Maybe it was my own impact when i fell out of my Bed.

There where many unanswered Questions in my Mind, like “where are the Contents of that empty whiskey Bottle?” or “where are the dozens of cute Girls with which i planned to end up in Bed with the Night before?”.

Since i couldn't find any other Reason, i concluded that i must have been abducted by Aliens.

Fit's perfectly, since i usually don't drink.

 

Why are “Aliens” so damn stupid? Better Question would be: Why are the Aliens in stupid Abduction Stories so stupid? They have to have an understanding of Quantum Physics that goes way beyond anything our scientists can dream of.

The Universe is big. Really BIG. It's so big you'd think that it's gloating in your Face about it: “Look here, I'm BIG!”...

To travel the vast Distances in Space, one would have to be some Kind of Super brain.

So, this Race of Super brains decides to travel here. And then, to learn more about the Lifeforms here they have to beam a specimen up, analyses it with some crude Tools that Doctors may have used two Centuries ago and to top it up, they can't even manage to keep their subjects sedated properly?

If i where some Alien who wants to know more about Humanity and somehow lacked the Tools to some decent scientific Work, I'd hack into a Hospital Computer to download all the MRI Scans.

Then, I'd fly in my Spaceship to a University to hack their Computer and all the Knowledge there goes directly into my mighty superior Space brain.

 

That is, if i wanted to know something about Humanity. From the Perspective of some Super being who has mastered Quantum Physics to a degree that he can create God and then lecture him about it, the Humans are pretty boring. We can't even imagine what it's like on a Neutron Star. Poor dull backwater Yokels...

 

If some Space Alien, possibly from Space, decides that he wants to know about humanity, he may fly around in his Spaceship, sees us with his mighty Space sensors from two Galaxies away and decides to check Humanity out. He does so by pushing a button and then everything that can ever be known about the Earth, Humanity and even Japan is stored in the Mighty Space computer of the mighty Spaceship of the mighty Spaceman...

 

 

 

So, why would anyone think that Aliens would come over here and probe you with crude devices?

 

Well, maybe it's happening. The Mighty Space race sends only their retarded Idiots over here, or maybe it's some Kind of Punishment in the Alien Society. Felons get sent over here to deal with the filthy Humans and sexually harass them.

 

Well, sucks to be them i guess. Because if they ever abduct me, I'll break free, kill the Aliens and steal the Spaceship to open up my very own super fast Pizza Service.

 

The only real Reason why Aliens would want to visit earth is the X-Files Franchise, just to have a good laugh at what this Earth Yokels think “Aliens” may look like...