Marcus Wolfe Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 A few months ago, my great aunt passed away. I never really knew her that well, she always had a lot of medical problems and lived alone. A week before her death, I overheard what my mom was saying on the phone and got a sneaking suspicion it was her in the hospital. When I was told she was dead, I felt...................nothing. No tears, just a slight sadness. I cried when my dog died (of course that was when I was in grade 4) but could I shed a single tear for another human being, one related by blood? No. I didn't even go to her funeral, I went to school instead. All her death meant was one less birthday present and one less Christmas present to me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninja_lord666 Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 Lots of things, but that's neither here nor there.You answered your own question: You didn't know her very well. She didn't have any sort of real affect on you when she was alive, so it's only logical her death would have no affect either. Your dog was different. You knew your dog; you loved your dog. Your dog influenced you, so it's only logical that it's death did, too. Stop trying to feel sorrow when there is no reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Wolfe Posted August 27, 2007 Author Share Posted August 27, 2007 Thanks man, that makes me feel so much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vagrant0 Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 All her death meant was one less birthday present and one less Christmas present to me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!?!?!Easy, you're a greedy, selfish individual who has just now had a glimpse of their own self-centeredness. It's not about you no longer getting material goods from someone, nor is it about how you're supposed to be feeling some sadness about the loss of another. You didn't know her that well, it's only understandable that you wouldn't feel much personal loss at her passing. If you're going to be beating yourself up, you should probably be doing it because rather than trying to help your parents, and others work through their loss, you've been more concerned about yourself. If this is really bugging you, the best thing you could probably do would be to spend the effort to get to know something about the person who died. Know what hardships they went through, listen to stories about their life, and learn from them. Yes, it may dig up some memories for people, but often the best way to accept loss is by making sure that those who were lost aren't forgotten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karasuman Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 "Easy, you're a greedy, selfish individual who has just now had a glimpse of their own self-centeredness." lol No beating around the bush here. Though Vagrant brings up a valid point. I am curious, why did you not go to the funeral? Even if you did not personally grieve for your aunt, that doesn't necessarily mean others who are mourning her passing couldn't use your support. As far as there being one less birthday and Christmas present...I realize you're being honest, though some things are better left unsaid lol. That may be one of them. I will say that I'm not sure beating yourself up over it would be a particularly good idea. Guilt is rarely healthy or helpful. You have the right to feel how you do if you were not close to her. Though I would politely ask that you at least have a level of respect for her passing that transcends birthday and Christmas presents. There's nothing wrong with you (except perhaps a lack of tact). If you want to feel better or vanquish your doubt, comfort those in your family who may have been closer to her than you. That's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Wolfe Posted August 27, 2007 Author Share Posted August 27, 2007 Easy, you're a greedy, selfish individual who has just now had a glimpse of their own self-centeredness.lol No beating around the bush here........That was harsh, but very true.................If this is really bugging you, the best thing you could probably do would be to spend the effort to get to know something about the person who died. Know what hardships they went through, listen to stories about their life, and learn from them. Yes, it may dig up some memories for people, but often the best way to accept loss is by making sure that those who were lost aren't forgotten......................My aunt was some strange form of psychiatrist.I remember reading a book that she read either in university or while in practice. It was about making movements with hands and other body parts. (the eight or infinite sign was a popular pattern) It was about negative and positive feelings surrounding things like touch, certain objects, foods, people. I remember reading one bit about 'does praying give food a more positive vibe?' She always had dogs, until a few years ago when she moved into the apartment.. She was were we actually got the dog (her name was Molly, she was a Black Lab). She was kept in the garage, she was already a little old, and had almost as many medical problems as my aunt did. And although she was only with us for a few years, I was really sad when I came home and Dad told me they had to put her down. I guess I had did my best by making the last years of her life the happiest, with all the walks and fetch and swimming..... My aunt became religious in the last decade or so of her life (judging by all the bibles I found in her apartment) but carved wood when she was young (judging by the wood carving set I found). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
floggingmolly22 Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 I quite agree with ninja_lord666 actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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