Kids or No Kids?

[DeadMansFist849]

Exactly that, myrmaad. I know children aren't easy to deal with by any stretch of the imagination. The point that I was trying to make is that normally, simply popping out a baby doesn't make a person special and more worthy than everybody else. Turning the baby into a competent adult in the time you have before ze goes hir own way, is certainly something to be proud of.

 

It is a big deal if you can raise a child to be a competent adult with as few issues and hangups as possible. Hell, even if you've got a small child who isn't an entitled little bin-bag, you're one of the few who's doing what you're meant to and you deserve a medal for that!

 

Put it this way, I like the martyr parents (the ones who go on about "Having a kid is SO HARD"), oversharing parents (the ones with an account for their fetus, 1000 photos of their baby including bath and gross ones and so on) or entitled parents (the ones who demand the entire world be child-friendly) about as much as they like childless/childfree people.

[Jopo1980]

I would like to raise to the fore one of the questions I put forth in the original post:

 

Does a person working with children or youngsters need to have children of their own? Is it enough to be competently educated or do you need some experience with children to make you a good educator? Also, is it a job requirement that you care for children/youngsters if you are for example a teacher?

 

 

When I started my university studies 8 years ago, I passed the psychological tests etc. However I am not so sure if I would pass them now. 8 years ago I was younger and more idealistic, I wanted to help build a better society and do something that mattered. That idealism is gone now. Now I wonder, why should I care for others children if I have none of my own? Why should I help in building a better future for the nation if I have no stake in it myself through children of my own?

 

Little children are cute, granted, but when I look at them, I always think 10-20 years into the future and what they will be as adults. Some will find success and some will fail, just like so many of us in the preceding generations. Every child is told they can become whatever they wish to be and so many of them have their hopes dashed when they reach adulthood.

 

Whenever children are mentioned, it is implied that it is the sacred duty of ALL adults to care for the children. All adults are expected to be full of unconditional love for children, if you are not, then you must be an evil person or sick or something of that sort and you are immediately made into a pariah.

 

Personally I choose not to have children in my present situation and since I don´t have any of my own, I don´t think I need to care about anyone else´s children either.

 

They say a teachers profession is a calling, but as for me, if I ever work as a teacher, then I do it for the money, not because I care about the kids, or some other idealistic reason. To me, MONEY is EVERYTHING, first and foremost, those are my new values.

 

Cheers!

[myrmaad]

I had a strong reaction to what you said.

 

Money is not everything, though it's a means to an end and so can be very important. But if you want money that's a very strong reason to do something other than teach.

 

I'm from a long line of teachers, and the one we all revered the most was my great aunt who taught my dad in school, and never had children of her own, (I was named after her). I loved her so much I consider her one of my grandmothers, (my favorite in fact).

 

The best thing about her, was that she always saw the good in everyone, she had a knack for finding that which made you unique and special and "shining it".

 

And this brings me to the nature of perceptions. I personally thinks it's an unfortunate character flaw to see flaws where there are diamonds.

 

For example my father, whose world view was shaped so intensely by my great aunt of whom I speak, always said things to me like:

 

"reach for the stars, and if you fall short, you still have something."

 

You can't be a failure unless you decide you are. Dreams don't have to be dashed, dreams can grow with you, and happiness isn't about money, but about living a life that allows you to be content and peaceful at its end.

 

My point is, I will never allow someone with such a negative attitude near my little girl. She's smart, beautiful, and I'm going to make sure that she has every possible opportunity open to her for whatever she wants to do or be in her life.

[UncleRoe]

i had a decently long answer for "Do i feel i am ready to take care of kids" However the question is do i want kids..and so the answer is simple..not right now.. I'm 26.. still considered a young adult with hopefully many years down the road to decide. My little brother who is three years younger than me has two kids. Love them both like they were my own..but i see how my brother struggles to put food on the table while maintaining his sanity. he's a good comparison since we both have the same job,same pay and the only difference in income is a monthly govt paycheck i recieve of a few hundred bucks. Considering we have the income pretty equal.. While he is stressing on a daily basis to raise his family..paying bills he owed last month so he can worry about this month..i have money in the bank..a good amount of spending money..the only mouths i have to feed or the couple of housepets i own and on my off day..i don't have a 3 year old sneaking me in the nuts while i'm sleeping just to say good morning. I'll wait until my mid 30's. That's when my parents had me. By that time i will have had much time to myself and enough time left for others.

[Jopo1980]

First of all in my case there is the single barring fact that I lack a partner, it is quite impossible to have a family by yourself. That fact is quite unlikely to change according to my estimates and I´m not so sure I even WANT it to change, I´m quite content, not happy, but content on being alone.

 

Second, the stories like that of Uncle Roe´s brother only reaffirm my belief about the importance of money. Money itself is not important, but as said it is a means to an end. Money gives you options and possibilities. Without money you have nothing, no food, no roof over your head etc.

You see, I don´t want a life like that of Uncle Roe´s brother, worrying every day whether he has enough money to pay the bills and all of the money he makes goes to supporting the family, leaving nothing for savings or investment. That is why having a family is purely a financial decision to me and without a significant fortune, millions of euros to be exact, I will not under any circumstances consider having a family. Take that into account, plus the lack of a partner and the mathematical probability of making such a fortune and you have the answer to the question whether or not I am likely to ever have a family.

I am fully aware that most people support their families on average paychecks, but that kind of a life is not for me. I don´t want to spend every cent I earn on my family, I want to spend what I earn on myself and if an average paycheck is all I´m gonna have, then I choose not to share it with anyone.

 

Also there is the consideration, of how much time a family takes, I don´t want to spend every last minute of my free time with the kids or the wife, I want time for my hobbies.

 

It may very well be that having a family is not the right choice for everybody and if destiny has prepared a childless path for me then maybe it is for the better, but if I´m not to have any kids of my own, then please don´t parade kids in front of me and ask me to love or care for them. If a child was of my own blood, then I might love it, if he/she is not, then they are quite irrelevant to me and I wouldn´t even consider my sisters possible future children to be of my blood, although they are related.

 

Every parent cares for their own children and that is enough, no need to care for the children of others.

 

Myrmaad, you forget that once I was idealistic and far more positive minded about teaching, until I came to realize how unlikely it would be for me to have a family of my own and hence the question; If I don´t have kids of my own, why should I care about those of others? A simple answer would be, because it will be my job, that´s what they will pay me for, but is the pay enough of a reason? You see many teachers are idealistic at start, but over time they become jaded and lose that idealism, after that it´s just a job, no longer a cause. Besides, how much respect do modern kids have for their teachers? Modern kids can be a real pain and besides parents teachers spend the most time with the kids and are second only to parents as influences to them. SO it is important to have good and competent teachers, but what makes a good teacher? So, be sure to talk to all of the teachers that teach your child and be sure they are the right ones. If you dislike a teacher, have the kid transferred to another class, simple.

 

Cheers!

[LadyGodiva]

I want children, because they signify the continuation of life. When I'm old and retired, I want my children and many grandchildren around me. I like having people I love to care for.

[frakle]

No, nope, nada. Did I forget to mention no?

 

I'm sitting at a restaurant, enjoying a hearty meal of eggs, toast, and bacon. When I hear some baby start screaming. Now, I'm one of those people who really doesn't get annoyed at lot of things except stupid people, but one of the things I absolutely CANNOT STAND is babies. All they do is poop, scream and cry, and eat some paste out of a glass bowl that is fed to them. Especially those babies and kids that are like 6 who do the same thing (sometimes even worse) who scream and cry and do all this garbage in public. If you're going to bring your kid to Bob Evans, please calm it the heck down, because no one else wants to hear your little kid scream about things. If I had to have a kid, it'd be an older kid, something like 12-14 or something, because you can handle those and they don't scream and cry and carry on in public unless something is very wrong.

[Utyran]

Yes.

Why? Reproduction rate in western nations is 1.3 to 1.4 Children each family. Thats ... thats just down the road to a society collaps. And hey, every man wants to spread his gens, right? And for those sissys which complaining about children: Hey, you were also some a time ago. s*** your dipers and made stupid gaga sounds.

 

And you can make so much things wrong with children, but you can also do so much right.

 

frakle wrote:

If I had to have a kid, it'd be an older kid, something like 12-14 or something, because you can handle those and they don't scream and cry and carry on in public unless something is very wrong.

Which planet do you life?

[Jopo1980]

I know the amount of child births is dropping in the western world and that it threatens the very fabric of our society, but "civic duty" is not enough for me to consider having children. I think most men don´t really think about having children until their girlfriends or wives start clamoring for one and then they just go along, just as their fathers did before them and most become good average dads. My views on having children are a very small minority and it is the good fortune of our society that it is so, because if everyone stopped having children, then humanity would go extinct in very short order.

[zegh8578]

every nation should implement a 1-kid-only rule

everybody wins

 

1. everybody gets to have their stupid kid, and fullfill their stupid reason for existing

1.5. if people start to nag, but we want twooo, slap them - you allready have a kid!

2. we manage to finally control populations, since 2 = 1 over time

 

3. humanity has a chance of long-term survival