Skyrim's Lulziest

[SexyVortigaunt]

Well, as the title would suggest, this thread is for all of your stories - whether it's because of some horrid ragdoll you somehow pulled off, or a random NPC's Artificial Un-intelligence moment. I'll start.

 

I was in a dungeon - I can't be bothered to remember which one - but there were some prisoners locked up. I opened the doors expecting them to rush off into the darkness, but they sort of lingered around - I guess there's no place like... A dirty rotten dank prison cell. Anyway, as I was getting ready to leave, I noticed that one of the guards I had slain dropped a bow whose stats were superior to mine, and, due to my inventory weight, I needed to drop my old bow for this new one. So I did. I drew the bow to look at how pretty it was, when I was interrupted by the prisoner.

 

"You should really be more careful where you leave your items.", He said, handing me back the bow and cursing me to be stuck with my over-capacity weight. Groaning, I tossed the bow a second time.

 

He did it again. "You should really be more careful where you leave your items.". Dangit all - Leave me alone! I shot him. He - and the three other prisoners present - began to assault me, so I shouted, dropped the old bow and legged it.

 

Haven't seen them since.

[DyingAtheist]

Getting killed for accidentally hitting a chicken with a fireball.

Oh the humanity.

[SHIROryuu]

Went to visit the Imperials and their horses were playing jenga... Double stacked horses gittering around, always fun.

[Raicuparta]

First time I got to Riverwood, killed a chicken as soon as I saw one. I notice the music has changed, look around to see that everyone is now trying to kill me. I'm confused, not sure if that was supposed to happen, so I run away. The immersion was so high at the point that I didn't even think about loading a previous game, just ran away. I notice that the person related to the main quest is there, also trying to kill me, so this is a serious problem. No guards ever try to stop me with the "pay or die" dialog, at the time I actually thought they had removed it from this game, I tried to stay close to them for some time but had to run away to survive. So I get away from Riverwood, get into a dungeon, kill everyone in there and pick up some stuff, get out and come back to Riverwood to see if they still remember the dead chicken. It's night, so no one is outside except for some guards that don't see me. But then, WTF, I see a dead man in the middle of the road, don't remember his name. He is on his knees, leaning back a bit, as if he was executed while on his knees, really creepy stuff. But I never killed anyone there, at least not intentionally, and the only weapons I had used untill that point were daggers, no spells or anything like that. So I assume that he was always supposed to be dead or to die at some point, and steal his keys. I go to his house, I find his kid and his wife. The kid says "You're not supposed to be here" like everyone else usually does, and I'm like "OMG this is the most horrible thing ever his dad is dead in the middle of the road" and then the kid calls the guards. I get out, never actually see any guards, and try to go to an inn to get some sleep, but everyone tries to kill me again. This was really really early in the game, so I just restarted, but it was actually really fun.

 

Another fun event, had just come out of a dungeon, see a tiger (Sabre Cat). Obviously rush to it and try to kill it, but I am interrupted by a man (the dialog screen is forced) that tells me something. I can't remember the exact words, but he told me to "take this", as if he was giving me something, and that he had to go, and when he got back I had to give it back to him. He sounded like he was in a hurry or something. Then he tells not to do anything funny like keeping it to myself or ruining away, and immediately after that he gets mauled by the Sabre Cat and dies in the spot. I could still hear some words while he was being killed, but never got what the hell was going on. I checked the dead body, had nothing of interest, and checked my inventory and didn't notice anything new. Tried using a previous save but he never showed up again (and neither did the Sabre Cat). It's probably a known quest already, but it was funny to me the way it happened, specially early in the game where you're not used to things happening during dialog.

[Sanbru]

Bunch of Skeevers attacked me, killed them. One of their corpses froze in mid air. Looks rather happy too.

 

http://s10.postimage.org/t973fp8vc/Screen_Shot2.jpg

Edited November 12, 2011 by Sanbru

[MrDirty]

Won my first solo fight with a dragon, stood up cheered. looked back at the screen just in time to see a lvl 1 wolf one shot me

[Sara231092]

I was riding my horse on my way to Riverwood from Whiterun and when I look at the sky I see flying saberthooth cats swirling and spiraling in the air like leafs in the wind. First time I remember encountering a bug/glitch.

[Lastito]

I was at a Dragon wall (forget what's name is), then a bunch of trolls attack me

killed 2 of 3, with the dragon blast me with his breath

then suddenly the dragon fall down from the sky, hitting the last troll, make him flying to the air for a few minutes

lol

[CarlCorey]

Just last night, I was hiding in the rocky hills behind Robber's Gorge planning on sniping as many of the resident bandits as I could when all of sudden, there's that fugitive guy asking me to hold some magic weapon and warning me not to double cross him. I'm like 85 sneak plus wearing full Thieves Guild armor and a Ring of Major Sneaking. How'd he find me?? Before I can think too much about it, a hunter shows up and asks me if I've seen the guy. THE GUY IS RIGHT HERE. The hunter sees ME and not HIM?!? So I rat the guy out and watch the hunter kill him. But by then, the bandits have noticed the hunter so they start trading arrows. I pick off a few bandits while they concentrate fire on the hunter. Finally the hunter goes to Savengard yelling that Skyrim belongs to the Nords. He didn't do that much damage to the bandits and neither he nor the fugitive had any loot to speak of other than the magic item I already had but it was entertaining.

 

Another time, I came upon a giant and a dragon having a disagreement. I watch for a while, neither one looks to be winning. After a while, the giant seems to have vanished so I shoot arrows at the circling dragon until it lands and then beat on it until is expires. I get the soul, the dragon burns and ... dramatically, through the flames comes that giant who must have been just on the other side of the dragon. He looked like a phoenix rising from the flames. He then sent me flying with a wack from his club.

[rumoon]

Isn't this thread a duplicate of this 11 page one? http://forums.nexusmods.com/index.php?/topic/534141-skyrim-wtf-moments/