Another powerful film

[Michlo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdkNn3Ei-Lg

 

He made a follow-up video months later telling how things had improved, thankfully.

 

And now he was featured on ABC news with his family:

 

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/bullied-teen-jonah-mowry-happy-15120338

[zegh8578]

worst about it, is that he is obviously a normal guy. he looks normal, he seems articulate enough, there is nothing about him that "should" make him a target.

he said bullying begun in the 1st grade

 

that is usually the case

its at that age a certain type of kids (this is where parental responsibility comes in) will "test" other children. those with a need to impose themselves on others.

lets say a classroom of 30 kids, 1 leader + 4 of them will be the "bully crowd" (parental responsibility)

these 5 will within a day or two allready have mapped out who is the weakest (by weakest, there can be any reason why a kid responds in a way that is percieved as weak (in my case it was _impecably timed_ family breakup).

 

from that point on, it begins

 

they never need another victim, as long as they have that one, and they will get into an "instinctive routine" where they unleash on that one individual relentlessly, every day, for years and years. its really not their fault. thats how they function (parental responsability)

if not stopped, they will keep this trait into adulthood, and always find a victim to bully.

 

it took me a long time to realize that there was nothing wrong with me, and that the fault could be traced back to those kids' parents. once i fully realized it, my entire demeanor changed, and ive never been targeted ever before. suddenly i became one of the "24 other people in the class", the "normal people"

 

i wish every bully-victim knew this. the fault is NOT in them, not even in their bullies, the fault goes all the way back to insecure parents, teaching their own kids insecurity, just like these bullies are going to be teaching their kids the same insecurity, and contribute to another generation of bullying.

 

the final lesson people need to know is:

bullies find strength in being many - against whom they percieve to be the weakest.

its the equivalent to bringing lots of friends along, to kick a kitten.

it says a LOT about their own self esteem. a LOT.

 

~~~~~~

storytime:

 

in my (mandatory) military service, in the first week of training, the structure itself is made so to forge a "brotherhood" among the soldiers. at that time, i was long since a much stronger individual, and i could spot bullies a mile away, and they had no idea, and of course never even tried anything with me.

but, because of how we had just been trained, bullying seemed non-existent

 

except for one particular guy, with a strong need to bully the "weak one", and the "weak one" was obvious to everyone - altho everyone treated him as a "curious oddball", still with the respect he deserved - save for this one bully of course.

but it was so clear to everyone, how desperate a bully is for companions and backup.

 

during those early days of service, he tried so hard to mock and rip on this "oddball", and desperately looked around himself for laughs that never came, for support that never happened - but the oddball victim ALSO noticed that nobody were supporting the bully. and he found strength, and finally he yelled at this guy to f* the f* off.

the bully of course laughed, "did you hear that guys? what a loser" but STILL didnt get the support he so desperately needed, and the victim was now fully aware of the powerlessness of a lone bully.

 

months later, those two were best friends.

and i hope that he learned a lesson for life.

Edited December 10, 2011 by zegh8578

[Michlo]

worst about it, is that he is obviously a normal guy. he looks normal, he seems articulate enough, there is nothing about him that "should" make him a target.

he said bullying begun in the 1st grade

 

that is usually the case

its at that age a certain type of kids (this is where parental responsibility comes in) will "test" other children. those with a need to impose themselves on others.

lets say a classroom of 30 kids, 1 leader + 4 of them will be the "bully crowd" (parental responsibility)

these 5 will within a day or two allready have mapped out who is the weakest (by weakest, there can be any reason why a kid responds in a way that is percieved as weak (in my case it was _impecably timed_ family breakup).

 

from that point on, it begins

 

they never need another victim, as long as they have that one, and they will get into an "instinctive routine" where they unleash on that one individual relentlessly, every day, for years and years. its really not their fault. thats how they function (parental responsability)

if not stopped, they will keep this trait into adulthood, and always find a victim to bully.

 

it took me a long time to realize that there was nothing wrong with me, and that the fault could be traced back to those kids' parents. once i fully realized it, my entire demeanor changed, and ive never been targeted ever before. suddenly i became one of the "24 other people in the class", the "normal people"

 

i wish every bully-victim knew this. the fault is NOT in them, not even in their bullies, the fault goes all the way back to insecure parents, teaching their own kids insecurity, just like these bullies are going to be teaching their kids the same insecurity, and contribute to another generation of bullying.

 

the final lesson people need to know is:

bullies find strength in being many - against whom they percieve to be the weakest.

its the equivalent to bringing lots of friends along, to kick a kitten.

it says a LOT about their own self esteem. a LOT.

 

~~~~~~

storytime:

 

in my (mandatory) military service, in the first week of training, the structure itself is made so to forge a "brotherhood" among the soldiers. at that time, i was long since a much stronger individual, and i could spot bullies a mile away, and they had no idea, and of course never even tried anything with me.

but, because of how we had just been trained, bullying seemed non-existent

 

except for one particular guy, with a strong need to bully the "weak one", and the "weak one" was obvious to everyone - altho everyone treated him as a "curious oddball", still with the respect he deserved - save for this one bully of course.

but it was so clear to everyone, how desperate a bully is for companions and backup.

 

during those early days of service, he tried so hard to mock and rip on this "oddball", and desperately looked around himself for laughs that never came, for support that never happened - but the oddball victim ALSO noticed that nobody were supporting the bully. and he found strength, and finally he yelled at this guy to f* the f* off.

the bully of course laughed, "did you hear that guys? what a loser" but STILL didnt get the support he so desperately needed, and the victim was now fully aware of the powerlessness of a lone bully.

 

months later, those two were best friends.

and i hope that he learned a lesson for life.

 

Thanks for sharing. You seem to have ended up a very decent feller despite or perhaps because of your experiences.

 

Take care.