Has anyone seen Johnny Depp in Skyrim?

[Bubblz]

The key word here is lore, Mr. Sight.

 

Who is Mr. Sight? What?

 

Anyway, yeah. I get lore. Magicland. I just don't get why all men are required to be hairy neanderthals in this magic make-believe lore-land of Scandinavian past. Especially since the females, much like the mermaid, seem to be utterly impervious to this hirsute lore.

 

You don't have to be a genius to understand that when one says inspired by Scandinavia, he means lore and folklore, not modern day Scandinavia

 

Again, I know what lore is. It's made up bs "inspired by Scandinavia". I get it. Apparently we're all just supposed to forget what they actually look like and substitute in some nice, hairy, beefcake neanderthals instead because that's how someone decided It Should Be.

 

Seriously? You're going to lecture me about the the reality of your fantasy? You think Helga shaved her legs and plucked her eyebrows? Guess what: prolly she didn't. Yet there she is all plucked eyebrows and botox lips.

 

Imagine that my version of hairy Helga determined what you saw in the game. Imagine that, after you pointed out that this was a fantasy world, I scoffed at your idea of fantasy and expected, nay defined, lore as being Johnny Depp and Hairy Helga. Forever and always because that's how it should be. Cause, you know. Lore.

 

How would you prevent yourself from barfing? Inquiring minds want to know!

 

By the way, that man you posted looks suspiciously like Marcurio.

 

... and yes in lore/folklore men do look like that ...

 

That's the problem.

 

(I don't understand how having some muscle and long hair automatically makes one ugly)

 

Me either, but I'm pretty sure if all the females were as butt effing ugly as the males were in this game you'd suddenly get what I meant real quick.

 

...and women are always pretty, you know because it's lore and there's no need for them being not. Women do tend to be pretty in fantasy/lore/folklore and whatnot, as they do in movies.

 

*Sigh*

 

Thanks for making my point for me. I guess.

Edited December 30, 2011 by Bubblz

[coldarra]

The guy at the Silverblood tavern in Markath is not that bad :armscrossed:

[Arcadiast]

throughout Human History, there were extremely Beautiful People even compared to todays Standards. Human anatomy did not change much after the discovery of Agriculture or lets say..civilization.

 

We can of course argue how "big" their percentage among the world population was in total but they have been seen regulary so it was enough.

 

This goes for men and women by the way.

 

Regarding the so called "Lore". The only People who decide what is Lore and what not (in TES) are the ones sitting at Bethesda and not "Mr. Modder X" or "Mr. Forummember Y". So speaking of Lore is (excuse my Language) Bull. All you are talking about is "Taste" and nothing else. Some people have seen Hollywood Movies with Vikings and think thats how Skyrim should look like...thats "Lore". Others "know" the Nordic Sagas or some "History entertainment Books" with scribbles and Nordic Symbols and think this is what Skyrim should look like...this is "Lore". Again...Bull!

 

Stop dictating people your "Lore". Bethesda will make sure, in their official DLCs, that you get as much "Lore" as you can stuff in. Modders however will continue to make mods according to their own tastes and share it with people who have the same tastes and thats the way it should be.

 

Chippendales in Skyrim? why not!

[SickFak]

The key word here is lore, Mr. Sight.

 

Who is Mr. Sight? What?

 

Anyway, yeah. I get lore. Magicland. I just don't get why all men are required to be hairy neanderthals in this magic make-believe lore-land of Scandinavian past. Especially since the females, much like the mermaid, seem to be utterly impervious to this hirsute lore.

 

You don't have to be a genius to understand that when one says inspired by Scandinavia, he means lore and folklore, not modern day Scandinavia

 

Again, I know what lore is. It's made up bs "inspired by Scandinavia". I get it. Apparently we're all just supposed to forget what they actually look like and substitute in some nice, hairy, beefcake neanderthals instead because that's how someone decided It Should Be.

 

Seriously? You're going to lecture me about the the reality of your fantasy? You think Helga shaved her legs and plucked her eyebrows? Guess what: prolly she didn't. Yet there she is all plucked eyebrows and botox lips.

 

Imagine that my version of hairy Helga determined what you saw in the game. Imagine that, after you pointed out that this was a fantasy world, I scoffed at your idea of fantasy and expected, nay defined, lore as being Johnny Depp and Hairy Helga. Forever and always because that's how it should be. Cause, you know. Lore.

 

How would you prevent yourself from barfing? Inquiring minds want to know!

 

By the way, that man you posted looks suspiciously like Marcurio.

 

... and yes in lore/folklore men do look like that ...

 

That's the problem.

 

(I don't understand how having some muscle and long hair automatically makes one ugly)

 

Me either, but I'm pretty sure if all the females were as butt effing ugly as the males were in this game you'd suddenly get what I meant real quick.

 

...and women are always pretty, you know because it's lore and there's no need for them being not. Women do tend to be pretty in fantasy/lore/folklore and whatnot, as they do in movies.

 

*Sigh*

 

Thanks for making my point for me. I guess.

 

I don't understand what it is so hard for you to get, especially since you "get" and "understand" my points... Why you go on about hairy women? You like hairy women, fine, no need to boast about it. You say "I get it, lore", and yet you go on about hairy women. There ain't no hairy ugly women in fantasy. And in a fantasy world inspired by Scandinavian folklore women are pretty and men have muscle. Everyone who's been at least a little interested in Vikings know it. Why do they look like Neanderthals? Well, that is just offensive. I have quite a few friends that have long hair and/or beards and I myself used to have long hair. It's quite a common look here, because metal scene is quite strong in Scandinavian countries, if you didn't know.

 

Also that fantasy world was largely build by men... Should this be enough for you to stop boasting about hairy women? Probably not, oh well...

[Khorak]

Actually the physical attributes of Nord men are somewhat acceptable as they are distinctly seperate from modern humans; I know in Morrowind somewhere you can find a book written by a mage (one you just killed, naturally) who had been experimenting on the various races. Nord frost resistance comes from their unique biology....fat is included in that.

 

You'd expect Nords to be heavier and stockier than most (and hairier, I guess), simply because they're literally built for the cold. This makes the women even more ridiculous however, since Nordic women should be a haven for men who like proper curves.

[whiteshaix]

Hey... I like long hair and muscles (and Nords as a race, and metal and bikers), but that doesn't mean I find any of the marriageable guys in Skyrim even slightly attractive. At least in vanilla game. Geonox's textures actually help, but I'd really like to marry Ralof or Erik instead (if I'll ever play a female character, that is). Whatever, Bethesda should become aware that there ARE female players someday.

[Khorak]

Whatever, Bethesda should become aware that there ARE female players someday.

 

Judging by the mod inventory of the Nexus, the chances of them ever being able to work that out are understandably massively slim. It would be like spotting a leaf in a forest of...nude mods and 'sexy' armour.

[whiteshaix]

@Khorak

You're (sadly) right... :P Well, at least we have some great modders who take care of the issue.

[spiritshadowx]

I'm a heterosexual male with a standard definition TV, so when I talk to people I can barely see them unless I go into first person and stand ON them, but I must say I don't think any of the men in Skyrim seem that bad. Certainly not like Oblivion when they all had the faces of ancient men and the voices of young adults. But the presets for the Nord dragonborn don't look that bad.

 

But hey, I still created a female character and got married to the Riverwood Trader's sister <3

[Bubblz]

Certainly not like Oblivion when they all had the faces of ancient men and the voices of young adults. But the presets for the Nord dragonborn don't look that bad.

 

Lol that's true. In comparison XD

 

Nord frost resistance comes from their unique biology....fat is included in that.

 

You'd expect Nords to be heavier and stockier than most (and hairier, I guess), simply because they're literally built for the cold. This makes the women even more ridiculous however, since Nordic women should be a haven for men who like proper curves

 

And proper hair lol XD

 

***

 

More seriously- You said it better than I did. I don't think that lore standard was applied equally across the genders, and I think that's pretty evident when you play the game.

 

Hence my impotent rage lol XD

 

It's not really rage. It's just...*sigh*: Oh yay, this again. It's tiresome.The female nords look like grubby Darryl Hannah's with maybe 10 "extra" pounds.

 

The males kinda look like Dog the bounty hunter. It just seems like hey- if I have to look at Dog then maybe all the women should look like his wife right? Yet they don't. You all get Daryl Hannah, I get Dog. Un-effing fair lol! And I don't care that it's lore because even in lore people look different. Or at least they should even if they don't.

 

And like I said before, I love the game. I can live with it and still even love Bethesda despite that. I know they've done better than that in the past and I know they tried to balance lore with their %60+ or so customer base. Believe me, I get that too.

 

But still, ugh. Irritating. Not only is it like I don't exist, even as a consumer, but it's like women outside of the standard don't exist, even in a world in which they should. It's kind of like a double whammi of *f- you".