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Household Products You Wish Existed


kungfubellydancer

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I want spa in a can. You don't how pregnancy really stresses out one's body. Not only do I have muscles pains where I didn't know I had muscles, sometimes the kid deliberately kicks the wrong place. Plus its like having a mini furnace inside that you can't turn off. It can help when I'm cold but I usually feel hot. Plus my body is working extra hard to supply nutrients, water, oxygen and whatnot to the little parasite so I feel like fainting every time I move.

 

Enough about me. Let's talk about you! Let's talk about you is a new product for the really lonely. Feel like no one listens? Feel like you're not going to be missed in life? It may be true, but Let's Talk About You is the hot new product that just can't wait to give you the false feeling that you're loved and cared for! Available in 2 flavors, "Loved and Cared For" and "Going to be Missed".

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Semi-Useless Information Giver:

An upgrade of the UIG, The SUIG randomly spurts out facts that may actually help you........

.....................but probably not.

Ex.:

How to remove a platypus's gallstone.

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Semi-Useless Information Giver:

An upgrade of the UIG, The SUIG randomly spurts out facts that may actually help you........

.....................but probably not.

Ex.:

How to remove a platypus's gallstone.

 

Or how to make a lateral incision, or how to raise antelope in the cold mountains of Germany, or what the difference between yellow and negative four hundred is. The possibilities are endless!

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Instant Fake-Death: Ever feel like everyone is driving you up the wall? Boss is always on your case? Heckled by you ex-wive for alimony to your illegitimate children? Then you need "Instant Fake-Death". Fake your own death, so everyone leaves you alone! Simply set the amount of time you want to appear "dead", and PRESTO! Everyone thinks you've kicked the bucket! It even comes with prearranged funeral plans, a plot in the cemetery of your choice, and an legitimate "Certificate of Death" signed by the State. Sorry, does not include the cost of a one-way ticket to the remote island of your choice.
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I hadn't seen this thread before, so many replies! :blink: I thought someone had resurrected an old thread. :P

 

A gravity gun would come in useful.

 

Go half life fans! I would kill for the gravity gun. I could get chores done faster, maybe make my husband go where I want him to go, but I'd need the super gravity gun version for that....

 

Fake-Death? Could use that, except I think it would be tragic for everyone who weren't my enemies. Then I could do the whole ghost thing and come back a few months later.

 

Cloning. Hmmmm, wish I had twins, maybe I could clone my baby. I'd get bored of it after a while. I'd have to use Instant sleep for the kids since I'd have 2 demons crying all the time.

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Contacts with subtitles:

How much more do I have to say?

Programmed with over 400 languages and 512 dialects, the contacts put small subtitles at the bottom of your range of vision so can understand people speaking in foreign languages. Perfect for a wide variety of activities ranging talking to foreign clients to watching animes with their original Japanese voices.

 

As a bonus, if you look at a price tag, they show you how much the item costs......with taxes!

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Contacts with subtitles:

How much more do I have to say?

Programmed with over 400 languages and 512 dialects, the contacts put small subtitles at the bottom of your range of vision so can understand people speaking in foreign languages. Perfect for a wide variety of activities ranging talking to foreign clients to watching animes with their original Japanese voices.

 

As a bonus, if you look at a price tag, they show you how much the item costs......with taxes!

So...pretty much bionic eyes?

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