Punishment in school?

[Lord Slyther]

Being honest, when I have kids, if a teacher hit them, I would beat the hell out of the teacher. That's my child,not theirs. But what makes it bad, is when society says it's bad for a PARENT to discipline their own children. And of course, when people have children, and don't care enough to bother getting involved in their kids' lives.

 

It was legal in that year and prior years, it isn't legal now And I am very sad to see your answer for this is just "beat the hell out of them".

 

Xenxander, I didn't write that. NyghtHawk did. The only thing I said was this.

 

No one should lay hand on another being. Period. It's called assault, and I SURE as hell ain't gonna allow any adult I don't know to hit me or push me around, because if they do, I will call the police on them, and sue them for assault. Same for me. If a teacher EVER layed his hands on my child, I will f***ing waste him! I won't allow people to touch my kid if I had one, and I was married with another woman. It is very wrong, and I consider spanking nowadays offensive and hostile. I will also call it assault. Who the hell do these teachers think they are to harm kids? They have no right.

 

The only thing you should do is talk it out with your child. Ask him how his day was. Talk it out calmly. Give him a suitable punishment if he deserves it, but don't hit your kid!

 

You're quoting something I did NOT say. This is what I wrote. Pay attention of what I say. It was legal in the old years for teachers to do that, but now only parents do that.

[Abramul]

It looks as if Xen was quoting Nyghthawk's post, and accidentally mixed up the quote tags.

[thekid345]

God didn't put us on this Earth to hate each other. That's one thing I believe most people don't understand. Seriously, people need to think about how pain feels, and how violence effects their life. Nobody should break the law. However, there are very few crimes on this planet.

 

Now, my beliefs on why I think spanking is wrong....

 

Yes, torture, and no food, no water should be an acceptable punishment, neither is spanking. What I would do with a troublesome child is take away his game boy for an example. Locking his thing in the closet. If he continues to misbehave, then I will take away his possessions in his room, nothing there but just his bed, and his clothes. Maybe I could send him in his room for a day, or maybe 2 hours. Maybe 5. This offends me to see someone get spanked.

 

I see spanking as a abusive punishment because it's pain. A huge pain in the ass. For real. It could bruise your child from ever sitting, and makes him hate you if he sees the way I do. That is why most teens had enough of their parent's bull crap. They run away, because they don't like living with them anymore. It hurts them. Well, most of them. Not everybody. You see? This is an example on how you might lose your child. If you abuse him too much, he will run away, and start thinking 'Who are they to push me around?!', and something like that. So, if you think my statement is wrong, then you really need to think how much pain it is.

 

My reason said, because I don't see it like most of you do, I may take away stuff and lock them up, but I'm not gonna spank my child or let him starve to death.

 

Even if I had a kid who is a total jackass, I would say 'To hell with you then.', and throw him to C.A.S.. However, I don't trust these people anymore, because they lead me into hell like 2 times. Even the second time, it was a slave home, and I'm pretty pissed at the turkey who tortured me, but if I ever see him again, I will call the cops, or f*** him up, using a hammer, aiming for his legs, kicking him in the nuts, and scream and berserk violently, beating the living hell outta him. I don't want to do that, but if he gets too crazy, I would have no choice, because he would test my patience too much. I'm not falling into that hell hole again. I won't let myself.

 

Ditto to that.

 

Have you noticed how people say kids get violence alot from their family? Well spanking is violence, and I bet that alot of bullies are hit numerous times at home, because they get that idea of use violence when someone doesn't follow your rules or do what you want.

[xenxander]

I will add that I am sorry I mixed the quote tags. My words for that quote can be taylored for the one who said it and I will change the quote tag. We all make mistakes and I do not mind being called out on mine.

 

What I will say about the rest is that you, Lord Slyther, are still a child. Your views are still stemming from from very recent past; years of 14, 15, and 16. I have respect for your views but also must state that your point of view tends to change as you age.

 

I am not 'old' but I am slightly more than ten years older than you, and have had quite a few more life experiences in that time than you have (most of them mistakes but that is how we learn and grow).

 

Where I am going with this, is that I hope in ten years you can look back on this and shake your head at some of the ideals and things you have posted and understand that although you do not agree with spankings or any other form of punishment in this fashion, you may very well agree with it in due time.

 

Yet there are still those very conservative parents who do not agree even up through their middle years and the poison they preach (yes I call it poison) about 'explaining to your child instead of spanking them' is not how you disipline. I've taken a long time to come to my conclusions and how best to handle a child.

 

Sometimes a 'spanking' can be just two smaks on the bum, while other times it can be quite a few more. Though it has to be said when spanking a child, anger can't be your motive. If it is, you'll tend to paddle the bum a bit more than you intended to. With every punishment comes moderation - just like with anything. Praise and reward for doing good, punishment and disipline for doing bad.

[kungfubellydancer]

Where I am going with this, is that I hope in ten years you can look back on this and shake your head at some of the ideals and things you have posted and understand that although you do not agree with spankings or any other form of punishment in this fashion, you may very well agree with it in due time.

 

Yet there are still those very conservative parents who do not agree even up through their middle years and the poison they preach (yes I call it poison) about 'explaining to your child instead of spanking them' is not how you disipline. I've taken a long time to come to my conclusions and how best to handle a child.

 

Sometimes a 'spanking' can be just two smaks on the bum, while other times it can be quite a few more. Though it has to be said when spanking a child, anger can't be your motive. If it is, you'll tend to paddle the bum a bit more than you intended to. With every punishment comes moderation - just like with anything. Praise and reward for doing good, punishment and disipline for doing bad.

 

I was raised in a home and brought up well, and I must say that spanking was an effective form of discipline. Yelling might work the first time in a different home, but the kid will eventually learn that yelling is just sound and it doesn't hurt them. But to be spanked once in a while is, in my opinion, a good form of punishment, as well sitting in the corner for 5 minutes, time out in the naughty chair, etc. A spank every 2 weeks is not abuse in any way (as long as they don't leave bruises or whatnot) and I totally agree with it. Even if I didn't like it as a young child, I am thankful my parents spanked me or I wouldn't be the person I am today. Of course spanking isn't the only factor for growing up well, but a good helper at that.

 

Even by the age 15 I was thankful and appreciative of my parents. At the time I couldn't understand why peers would be hateful of their parents of just don't understand why their parents do what they do ("My mom is so evil because she won't let me get a car until 18!"). This sort of thinking and maturity stemmed from the way my parents trained me, as well as other things.

 

Things to remember as adults, for adults: Not all teens are trouble makers. You may find a good few who are way more intelligent/responsible/mature than the rest of their population. Think about it; 100 years ago, teens were expected to marry and raise a family, and no one complained! They accepted and never doubted the choice to marry at 15 or 16. What is it about the modern world that makes teens and early twenties the irresponsible people that most are?

[Malchik]

I worked for two years with a parenting organisation in the UK. They were against physical punishment of children as a norm but one once said to me that there might be one excuse for it. She believed that usually kids can learn from their mistakes and have to be allowed to make them. However there are some things where the results of the mistake could be irreversible - running into the street without looking, poking a finger into an electric socket etc. If smacks are exceedingly rare the psychological impact on the child is much stronger (and realistically unless you are a monster the physical pain is mild and short lived). Provided the child sees that the punishment came from fear that the child would suffer even worse, it might be justifiable. She stopped short of saying it was, however, adding that more research was needed.

 

I am not saying she was right or wrong but at least she had thought long and hard about it.

[freddycashmercury]

I was raised in a home and brought up well, and I must say that spanking was an effective form of discipline. Yelling might work the first time in a different home, but the kid will eventually learn that yelling is just sound and it doesn't hurt them. But to be spanked once in a while is, in my opinion, a good form of punishment, as well sitting in the corner for 5 minutes, time out in the naughty chair, etc. A spank every 2 weeks is not abuse in any way (as long as they don't leave bruises or whatnot) and I totally agree with it. Even if I didn't like it as a young child, I am thankful my parents spanked me or I wouldn't be the person I am today. Of course spanking isn't the only factor for growing up well, but a good helper at that.

 

Even by the age 15 I was thankful and appreciative of my parents. At the time I couldn't understand why peers would be hateful of their parents of just don't understand why their parents do what they do ("My mom is so evil because she won't let me get a car until 18!"). This sort of thinking and maturity stemmed from the way my parents trained me, as well as other things.

 

Things to remember as adults, for adults: Not all teens are trouble makers. You may find a good few who are way more intelligent/responsible/mature than the rest of their population. Think about it; 100 years ago, teens were expected to marry and raise a family, and no one complained! They accepted and never doubted the choice to marry at 15 or 16. What is it about the modern world that makes teens and early twenties the irresponsible people that most are?

 

Kungfu, you just made my point better than I ever could have. I most vehemently agree. I am only 14 right now, but like you, I already thank my parents for the way they disciplined me. It hasn't caused any damage to my psyche. When I was younger, yes, I did get a little upset when my parents spanked me. I understand why they did it now, though, and it doesn't bother me.

[LordNyghthawk]

I agree that spankings are not a cure-all for a kids misbehaviour, but there definately is a time and a place for it. When I'm walking through a store, and I see a parent spank their kid, I just keep moving on, because; 1> it's their kid, and 2> the kid was most likely acting up. Now, if I saw a parent just outright slug their kid (especially a really young one), then I would step in, and make them either, wait for the cops, or if they were that bent and determined to leave, they could leave, minus the child, while the child and I wait for the police. And I would get the year/make/model/license plate of the vehicles they drove off in.

And to the person that said I was wrong for wanting to hit a teacher that hit my kid, you're wholly entitled to your opinion (make's life interesting), but I honestly feel that if they are going to hit my kid, I have every right to defend my child. Now if my child started beating on the teacher, and the teacher had to strike back to defend themselves from harm, well, that's a different story. But to hit my child because they are acting up is most definately not within the teacher's rights or responsibilities. Tell me what my child did, and I will decide what form of punishment they get (if anything more than detention or suspension is needed). And my child getting suspended from school would most definately not be a picnic for him or her, not only would I make them do whatever schoolwork they are supposed to do, they would have a LOT of extra chores to do. No gaming, TV/movies, no having friend's pver (or going to a friend's house). Basically, their fun would be listening to the radio WHILE doing their chores. And if they refuse to do the chores, stuff gets taken away, extracurricular activities they happen to like get taken away, etc etc. And if it gets to that point....a good solid spanking is in order (at least while they are young enough for it to make an impression). For the older kids, embarrassing them in front of their friends, I think would make a good impression.

[kungfubellydancer]

While I am pro-spanking, I would not tolerate anyone else spanking my child, whether it be a teacher or family member or whatever. On the other hand remember that I am not saying spanking is the only form of punishment, there are lots of things that can be used as punishment. For example, if I was 6 and I was with my mom in the grocery store, before any of us act up she'd say, "if you guys are good and don't scream or be annoying, then you guys can ride the pony!" (The coin pony at the front) If we were good, she'd let us ride. If we acted up, she did not let us ride the pony, and when we cry as we leave we learn that, ya, we acted bad so no pony ride. That worked wonders, even after only one or two offenses. No spanking or shouting needed.

 

Now as an adult I often tell my mom, "I don't know what magic formula you used to make me who I am, and how disciplined I am, but I wish you could tell me the ingredients so I could use it on my kid." I love my mommy, and no amount of spanking or punishment made me hate her or anything. She wasn't abusive either, mind you.

 

Freddy: I know how you feel, and I am glad that a teen can stand up and say, "my parents are awesome and I love them and appreciate them for everything they did to/for me!" and not, "I hate my parents. They suck and never let me do anything." Its good to recognize adult reasoning and accept rather than rebel.

[LordNyghthawk]

Actually, different things and formulae work for different people, but as long as a parent is definately firm and consistent with the behaviour to punishment equation, the kid will usually wind up growing up well. Also, there is the other side of the same coin, when a kid does well, goes above and beyond what they have to do to "just get by", that requires encouragement and praise. And I know one really big thing that helps, is for the parent(s) to just spend quality time with their kid, and let them know they are wanted and loved (no matter whether they are yours by blood, adoption, or you married that child's parent). Too many times, I see a relationship, where there is a kid from a previous relationship, get neglected or abused, because the kid is "not theirs". When you marry the kids mom or dad, you also chose to accept that kid as your own, even if they never call you "Mom" or "Dad", you can still be one, and be a huge part of their life.