Intended for a mature audience...

[themusician2]

So let me start off by saying if you cannot discuss this topic on at least a high school educated level, please skip this thread. Thank you.

 

Now let's cut to the chase. My wife and I were having a debate about this and she suggested I asked random people. And I thought what's more random than the nexus forums? My wife has had expierience with the same sex on more than one occasion, brings it up often, and has made out with girls while drunk. In front of me. When the air clears, and we sober up she insists that she is not attracted to the same sex and she just does it for my pleasure and the pleasure of other men. (before we met and in her younger years) I call her out on this and say something along the lines of "that makes no sense". I refer to the classic "if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck then it's a duck" style of logic.

 

My question is what do the members of nexus forums think about this? Has anyone been in this situation? Am I completely off base and in no way should believe my wife is attracted to women? If there are any women on the forum, feel free to chime in. And for all the guys, again, let's keep it mature and reasonable. No "ah dude why are you complaining? I know I wouldn't be!" or anything like that. Thanks in advance.

Edited January 30, 2012 by themusician2

[GomuGomu64]

"Do it for your pleasure" Hm.

 

I wonder what our wife would say if you mentioned if she could make out with a man. Infront of you. For your pleasure.

The response given might determine whether she likes her girls or she really is trying to entertain you.

 

 

...Though that "I'm only doing it for you, hun" type of response always makes me call BS, so feel free to call me biased. XD

[themusician2]

"Do it for your pleasure" Hm.

 

I wonder what our wife would say if you mentioned if she could make out with a man. Infront of you. For your pleasure.

The response given might determine whether she likes her girls or she really is trying to entertain you.

 

 

...Though that "I'm only doing it for you, hun" type of response always makes me call BS, so feel free to call me biased. XD

 

 

Wow now this is a great idea. I've never even thought about trying that. It's so simple.

 

The reason I believe she doesn't want to admit her feelings about women to me is due to her thinking I will press the issue and try to get a threesome out of it because of course us men are manipulative dogs and are just trying to constantly come up with ways to get some kink out of our wives/girlfriends whether they want to or not. /sarcasm.

 

I asked her what the difference would be if it were I that was drunkenly making out with men. She of course said she would draw up divorce papers if I did. So there is obviously a double standard about this the question is why?

[Werne]

she insists that she is not attracted to the same sex and she just does it for my pleasure and the pleasure of other men.

I'd be worried about that part alone.

 

As for the same sex story, "doing it for you" is BS in my opinion, but I might be wrong (wouldn't be the first time). I believe she wouldn't be doing that if she doesn't like it, would you have a "same sex experience" with another man if your wife likes that but you don't? I know I wouldn't. But maybe she really does that for your pleasure, only she knows, we can only guess.

 

My girlfried for example had sex with another woman, when I asked her about it she said that women and men are all the same to her. I don't mind that at all, as long as she doesn't cheat on me.

 

Anyway, that's my opinion. And as I said, only your wife knows the truth, we can only guess.

[Deleted472477User]

I call BS. She knows how you feel, and still does it. This isn't respectful of you or your feelings. Playing the "this is every man's fantasy card"--which is what it sounds like she's doing--is a load of crap used to justify it to herself and you. If she can't respect how you feel, then it's not good for you or the marriage.

[themusician2]

I call BS. She knows how you feel, and still does it. This isn't respectful of you or your feelings. Playing the "this is every man's fantasy card"--which is what it sounds like she's doing--is a load of crap used to justify it to herself and you. If she can't respect how you feel, then it's not good for you or the marriage.

 

Just to clarify, while it is not a fantasy of mine if we both agreed I wouldn't have a problem. I just know she is the jealous type. But I also know she is stubborn about the things she admits to. She won't admit it unless I catch her red handed and as the chances of that are low, I don't think she will admit to it. I just want her to be honest. I would still love her the same.

 

As far as the "pleasure of other men" comment. Anything she has done in the past that she told me about I don't hold against her. This one, however irks me. Because her logic and reasoning are both flawed. I felt I've been more than open. She even went to new jersey to visit a guy friend of hers that she used to sleep with. Granted this was before we even talked about marriage. I had no problem with it. The guy seemed decent and has a girlfriend.

 

But keep them coming. She insisted that when I did this expierement that most would she her logic and say she's justified. Not so much, it seems.

[Werne]

She insisted that when I did this expierement that most would she her logic and say she's justified.

 

Nothing in your post suggests that she's right, quite the opposite. I see no logic in her answers, she has sex with other women although she's not attracted to them but she doesn't explain does she actually enjoy it or not. Did she even ask you do you enjoy watching it?

 

And that part with the divorce paper, that's wierd. She can have sex with another woman but you can't do it with another man (theoretically speaking, of course)? Did you ask her why?

[themusician2]

The divorce thing I'm sure she ment jokingly but I'm sure she would if it actually happened. But as far as my enjoying watching, she is afraid of that IMO. She is jealous and doesn't want a threesome because she feels I will leave her for the other woman. Which wouldn't happen. She doesn't believe me though. But she isn't a bad person. She is great and this was ment to stay light hearted. We aren't at each others throats about it but she does get defensive about it.

[Syco21]

I have... A friend that is married and she flirts with girls all the time at the bar when drunk and I think she'd made out with one recently. Her husband doesn't like it at all. I don't know what my point is. Oh! I think my point was that she does it because she is attracted to women.

 

 

Anyway, she might have an attraction to other women that she may not want to admit to herself or maybe just doesn't want to admit it to you. She might also legitimately be doing it to entertain you. But then, if she only does it while drunk, it is more likely the former. Then again, alcohol simply loosens up your inhibitions. See the following.

 

Personally, I tend to flirt with my gay friends a lot just cause. I flirt a lot, it is just what I do. I'm straight, but I have no problems flirting with anyone. She might be straight but not have any problems kissing girls. It could also be that while she is drunk, she is simply willing to go a little bit further than flirting.

[sendo75]

She doesn't mind making out with girls, at least not repulsed with the act when uninhibited. I would think she has some level of physical attraction or admiration or envy but not the kind of chemistry you should be worried about. Doing it for you would be probably just a convenient justification if she is embarrassed about admitting her curiosity to the same sex which is a social stigma, maybe less so for the ladies but still is.