Followers won't follow

[DoctorFunk]

I've got a problem that's starting to drive me absolutely livid. All followers are refusing to follow me.

 

This includes vanilla followers; characters from Interesting NPC's; Familiar Faces protagonists! I'll ask a follower to follow me - their dialogue indicates they're supposed to be a follower, but they'll just walk away as if I'd never asked them. I can give them commands - move here or there, interact, and so on - and they'll follow, until I exit the little instructional sequence. Once I stop issuing commands, they'll just return to their waltzing ways.

Curiously, the first time I try to recruit a follower, they'll briefly follow me; and then, they'll unequip and reequip all their gear, and start wandering off.

 

I've also checked my status out with the showfollowercount command, and it always lists me as having 0 - even when I apparently have followers "following" me, albeit in their own disobedient way.

 

I've never had UFO or AFT installed, which seem to be common culprits; there's little doubt it's a mod, though. In addition to testing this issue with different followers, from different mods, I've also tested multiple characters. And I've reinstalled the game and all my mods. The issue persists.

 

Please, if anybody can shed some light on this issue, help me out before I end up in a clock tower with my old service rifle! I'll be glad to divulge any information. To start, here's my load order:

 

 

CWIDawnguardPatch.esp
CWINPCImprovements.esp
CWIBCSMerge.esp
VHunterArmor.esp
RealisticNeedsandDiseases.esp
RND_AnimalLoot.esp
RND_Dawnguard-Patch.esp
RND_HearthFires-Patch.esp
RND_USKP-Patch.esp
LilmothiitCompanions.esp
LilmothitRace.esp
Inconsequential NPCs.esp
FNIS_PCEA2.esp
FNIS.esp
DeadlyMutilation.esp
Throthgar Follower.esp
Frostfall.esp
Unique Uniques.esp
VelvetRobesandCloaks.esp
WWW.esp
GondorianRangerArmor.esp
ValiantNordBow.esp
SkyUI.esp
Chesko_WearableLantern.esp
DGBetterFamiliar.esp
MFVM_Hearthfire_Patch.esp
GrassOnSteroids_NaturalEdition_Vanilla.esp
Skyrim Flora Overhaul.esp
Bard Songs Overhall v2.esp
ContinueGameNoCrash.esp
HallgarthAdditionalHair.esp
bard_weapons_0.04.esp
AZ Argonian Pride.esp
Hirsute Beards.esp
dD - Realistic Ragdoll Force - Reduced.esp
nem-e5i5's RaceMenuPlugin.esp
aaaKodiak Bear Race.esp
dredtent.esp
Khajiit Mane.esp
Cloaks - Dawnguard.esp
WideBrimHat.esp
RaceMenu.esp
RaceMenuPlugin.esp
CharacterMakingExtender.esp
USKP Patcher for RaceCompatibility.esp
Customizable Camera.esp
EnhancedCharacterEdit.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeak.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeakDLC - Dawnguard.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeakDLC - Hearthfire.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeakMod - Alternate Start.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeakMod - Convenient Horses.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeakMod - Follower Commentary Overhaul.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeakMod - Moonpath.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeakMod - NPC Bartering.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeakMod - Realistic Needs And Diseases.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeakMod - The Choice Is Yours.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeakMod - The Paarthurnax Dilemma.esp
mjhKhajiitSpeakPatch - Unofficial Skyrim Patch.esp
vMYC_MeetYourCharacters.esp
ReProccer.esp
DynamicMerchants.esp
Inns and Taverns.esp
KTGold0.005.esp
SMIM-Merged-NoDragonborn.esp

[DoctorFunk]

Anyone? Any clues?