Stereotypes in Men.. uncalled for or accurate?

[nbbh1510]

I don't normally post but....lemme give you some advice.

 

Whether you like it or not, people in this world will judge you on appearance. I've been an avid gaming nerd for 16 years and a software engineering geek for 6. Around 9 years ago, one of my exs dumped me because "I was too fat and fitting the stereotype of a mama's boy nerd". This hit me like a truck.

 

Currently, I still play games, program software, and consider myself a nerd. However, I'm also ripped, ride a Hayabusa, and get jobs a hell of a lot easier because I raise intelligent the eyebrow of the interviewee, apparently, nerds don't exist within the jock profile. If you ever get to the other side, by the way, you may find that you hate your "fellow" nerdlings...because they make you look worse than the gym junkies who have no degrees. At least one in the group fits in socially. You can't contribute to society if society doesn't accept you.

 

Long story short: adapt or die.

 

You could take it a step further and say that male-stereotyping occurs every day.

 

How many times have you seen a commercial on TV in which the man of the house can't use an iron, or doesn't know how to fill a washing machine, or has no idea how to cook?

 

And yet males are expected to deal with it.

 

To counter Nintii - how is saying that you want a "real man" also not stereotyping and pidgeon-holing? What is a "real man"?

 

Interesting, isn't it?

 

Anyway...Dweedle, if she fires at you again, I'd be inclined to turn the tables and ask what makes her think that about you - does she know you to know this for certain, has she watched you to know your web habits? Put her on the spot and make her justiy her comment with solid evidence to back up her claim. Just be mindful to not be aggressive towards her if you do take this option. :whistling:

 

Stereotypes exist for a reason. I am fairly certain that 99% of you cannot complete http://toughmudder.com/ and would faint/give up within the first 4 miles. I'm basing this purely on the fact that most people on this site can fit in the stereotype known as "nerd" which equates to scrawny, or fat, human beings. But above all, by media standards, they are not men but little boys.

 

So what is a real man? I used http://toughmudder.com/ as a standard; you can't make it through without cheating, you aren't a real man.

Edited March 6, 2012 by nbbh1510

[DeadSpace]

i was pretty not much bothering with this topic because stereotypes are only used by those incapable of rational thought. ie: premade assumptions let you shove someone or a group of people into a pigeon hole that requires zero thought. useless topic to me because since many people are inherently mentally lazy (less thinking the better) stereotyping isn't gong to end. can talk about it forever but still won't change the fact that until people think it will continue to happen.

 

another reason i was passing this topic by, i don't really give a *censored* about what other people think, someone stereotypes me it actually makes it easy for me to tell who's an idiot and not worth the time.

 

and then read this

*snip*

 

So what is a real man? I used http://toughmudder.com/ as a standard; you can't make it through without cheating, you aren't a real man.

 

o rly O.o someone who posts about stereotyping and then stereotypes people himself...o...k.

so...according to you o wise one, someone say, who's quadriplegic can never be a real man? an amputee also? could probably rattle off disabilities and diseases, chronic or otherwise that would prevent people from finishing that kind of stupidity.

 

physical prowess means literally nothing, it reflects nothing upon your character, your drives, your morals, or your personal commitment to anything but that activity. personally i do think it makes people who participate less...um...mentally acute..since they could have used that time and energy for something useful besides a strictly personal accomplishment. it doesn't make you a 'man' it just makes you selfish.

 

you could have donated that time and training into something to help people...takes more than a contests or training to make a 'man' or a 'woman' lets just say a decent human being shall we? it's not pointless trials that's for sure, one of them however is what can you do to help others, giving of your time and energy to others is much more difficult than any marathon. however the rewards are far greater.

 

why did i bother? pushing your views of what makes a man especially when so incredibly wrong just had to be answered. adapt or die? pure bs, it's society and the small minded people that stereotype others that need to adapt, as long as there are so called 'men' like yourself who are willing to conform rather than stand firm in their ideals and convictions...that won't ever happen. you only proved you didn't have the heart to face societies or your peers pressure, and crumpled. conformed. became them since you now stereotype others.

Edited March 6, 2012 by DeadSpace

[marharth]

I think he was making the point that you shouldn't stereotype based on certain standards...

[Marxist ßastard]

Strange thing happened today though, I helped this girl with understanding some of what our tutor taught us and it was like talking to a completely different person, so maybe my worrys were uncalled for.

Well there you go. It was just a joke; there wasn't any particular harm meant by it and it didn't matter to her who was on the butt-end.

 

Oh, and since you're Kiwi I just wanted to be clear: The joke was about normal porn, right? Not adultsheepfinder?

 

 

*sigh* Is this your way of saying, "Please, Sir can I have some more?"...Cause it really feels like it.~Lisnpuppy

[myrmaad]

Physical fitness is good for the body, mind, and spirit, and you pass that along to your friends, family, and community through enhanced energy, positivity/outlook, vitality, probable longer life, and even :ohmy: enhanced brain function, including memory and attention span.

[nbbh1510]

@DeadSpace

 

Do a Tough Mudder trial, come back and try to talk s*** about it.

 

What happens when you get a group of 4.0 students who are ripped beyond standard and start competing in it? You just stereotyped exactly what I'm not and what I am trying to change.

 

Both nerds and jocks have their gaping flaws in stereotypes. On one hand you have a useless basement dweller who is still living with their mother and is a virgin after 40, on the other hand you have some dumbass that's been on steroids with shrunken balls and no brains.

 

I'll ask the question again, what happens to your flawed logic when you have a team of individuals that are not only ripped and physically capable, but also intelligent beyond what the average educated individual (note educated, not uneducated...need to set standards). That's when the words "good game" come crashing into your face.

 

Now I'll address your next topic about doing trials as "selfish". I'm very proficient in the business world and I understand that every person, no matter they're living standards are, operate under the WIIFM principle. Inherently, every single species on this planet is selfish. Social standards simply set a bar for acts that are "too selfish" because they go above the norm.

 

If you donated your entire life savings to save starving African children, what's in it for you? Nothing? You definitely get something out of it. You feel more "self-worth". Businesses do it for publicity, so do celebrities. People are not far from them.

 

And I hope you're joking about helping others versus difficult training in terms of difficulty. Marathons and Tough Mudder events are based on one major factor, with minor factors including fitness, that major factor is WILL POWER. I saw people more built than I was join the 22% failed to finish category.

 

So the question I answered was with regards to "What makes a man?" We already have millions of different ways to measure intelligence (my IQ is 139, high school average was 97.8%, gpa upon graduation was perfect). How do you measure one's physical capabilities then when genetics play such a huge role? Simple: will power. When you have both, you are a man.

 

EDIT: I didn't notice your little disabled comment. You gotta get out in the real world man. I'm dead serious. I've seen someone in a wheel chair finish Tough Mudder with the help of his team and he crawled half the thing with his arms. And if you're gonna ask about someone with complete paralysis then I'll state something very simple: from the moment you are born, you should have realized the world isn't fair. If it was fair, I would have been given a Ferrari on my 21st birthday like one of my other friends did. We aren't born equally, and we don't die equally. Don't blame anyone other than yourself if you don't live up to social standards or surpass them. Stereotypes exist for people who meet certain...bad standards...if you find yourself being stereotyped take a good look in the mirror. The only person that can change that is you.

Edited March 6, 2012 by nbbh1510

[DeadSpace]

Physical fitness is good for the body, mind, and spirit, and you pass that along to your friends, family, and community through enhanced energy, positivity/outlook, vitality, probable longer life, and even :ohmy: enhanced brain function, including memory and attention span.

 

sure it is, for those physically capable of it. doesn't require strange physical trials or anything else though...and mental fitness doesn't go hand in hand with physical fitness....you could use the premise that everyones different, which is a truism or meme how ever you want o look at it. but your physical self doesn't define who you are mentally. stephen hawking...would people say he's less than a man because of his condition?

 

what ultimately defines someone is their mental outlook, mental strength, their character. capability for rational thought and action...and what they do with those qualities. appearance or physical fitness shouldn't factor in at all. you or i could name quite possibly dozens of actors/actresses who are physically fit, take care of themselves, etc. but have the mental capacity and thought power of a turnip. a few others don't.

 

that's why the ultimate definition will be what can't be seen but only experienced through interaction. a persons actions defines them, their words define them. appearance gives nothing but surface indicators could be rotten to the core beneath...but hey...they look good >.>

 

on topic:

stereotyping is up there on my worst crimes list, along with prejudice and several others. if i was to say i'm an ex-con...what's the first thought that springs to mind? what's the first assumption made? what's the immediate perception of a person that announces that? almost everyone has preconceived notions, it's whether or not they overrule them to think rationally that will change stereotyping or prejudice. ahh...but first they have to get past that nasty bit where they jumped to conclusions, essentially admitting they were wrong in those prejudices or stereotypes.

 

and that's a hurdle all by itself for many. 'what? admit i was in error in my hasty judgment? not only that i have to actually think and judge this person based on their words and actions instead of the easy way?' how many people does anyone know capable of that? the strength that requires? ya, doom and gloom kinda post. my faith in most humanity is pretty much nil. case by case basis though, person by person. everyone has an equal shake, until their words or actions prove otherwise.

 

you can assume general parameters for like minded groups, skinheads will generally be racist is a safe assumption, but all men, all women, all people of this skin tone or that skin tone, of this sexual preference or that one, of physical perfection or deeply flawed appearance will fail. can't even assume people of the same faith will have the same characteristics >.> gamer, pc geek, biker, ex-con, cop, politician, person you meet on the street, etc...case by case.

[DeadSpace]

@DeadSpace

 

Do a Tough Mudder trial, come back and try to talk s*** about it.

 

What happens when you get a group of 4.0 students who are ripped beyond standard and start competing in it? You just stereotyped exactly what I'm not and what I am trying to change.

 

Both nerds and jocks have their gaping flaws in stereotypes. On one hand you have a useless basement dweller who is still living with their mother and is a virgin after 40, on the other hand you have some dumbass that's been on steroids with shrunken balls and no brains.

 

I'll ask the question again, what happens to your flawed logic when you have a team of individuals that are not only ripped and physically capable, but also intelligent beyond what the average educated individual (note educated, not uneducated...need to set standards). That's when the words "good game" come crashing into your face.

 

Now I'll address your next topic about doing trials as "selfish". I'm very proficient in the business world and I understand that every person, no matter they're living standards are, operate under the WIIFM principle. Inherently, every single species on this planet is selfish. Social standards simply set a bar for acts that are "too selfish" because they go above the norm.

 

If you donated your entire life savings to save starving African children, what's in it for you? Nothing? You definitely get something out of it. You feel more "self-worth". Businesses do it for publicity, so do celebrities. People are not far from them.

 

And I hope you're joking about helping others versus difficult training in terms of difficulty. Marathons and Tough Mudder events are based on one major factor, with minor factors including fitness, that major factor is WILL POWER. I saw people more built than I was join the 22% failed to finish category.

 

So the question I answered was with regards to "What makes a man?" We already have millions of different ways to measure intelligence (my IQ is 139, high school average was 97.8%, gpa upon graduation was perfect). How do you measure one's physical capabilities then when genetics play such a huge role? Simple: will power. When you have both, you are a man.

have both? you only mentioned one, will power, serial killers have will power, dictators have will power, it's meaningless unless it's used properly. what's your worth to society? what could you have contributed instead of doing that event? getting 'ripped' etc. that time lost on something with no value...though i doubt you'll grasp the point i'll still make the attempt :confused:

 

i was soooo hoping you'd try to say i was stereotyping :) ty, your words determined my judgment, no stereotyping or prejudice involved. my previous post covers everything i think i would attempt to explain to you. (the one with myrmaad quoted)

 

but you sure do like to talk about your achievements don't you? giving moneys easy, giving your time and effort isn't. will power? for a meaningless event? the only person impressed was you, and perhaps a few others who think that those things actually mean something in the long run. you spouted several more stereotypes in your post. i can see that you're very proud of who you are, kudos for that eh.

 

159!Q INTJ personality type..if you read up on meyers-briggs less than 5% of the total world population. now...how impressed do you think i am with you? i base judgments on information received. you're as bad as the women in the OP's class. identical in fact, since you also have a very narrow definition of what you think a man is, should be or is capable of. you've proven everything i already said, and confirmed it beyond doubt.

 

ty, i like having an analysis confirmed.

Edited March 6, 2012 by DeadSpace

[BlackBaron2]

Yeah, I have a problem with arbitrary determinations of who is and is not a "real" member of their gender. It's a problem for everybody who identifies as either male or female. Even if you fit the cultural expectations of the gender you identify with, someone WILL come along and pronounce you "not real".

 

I think trying to make genders into exclusive clubs based on body parts and stereotypical expression is very silly and pointless. Like I said, equating masculinity with strength and femininity with grace is absurd. It is bad for everyone.

 

Marxist: even if it was a joke, that doesn't make it OK. If someone says something horrible and then says "I only meant it as a joke!" that isn't a magic statement to absolve all responsibility for being a fool on the part of the person who said the horrible thing. Intent is not a real life version of praying at an altar in the Elder Scrolls games, it won't magically make everything better just to scream "I HAD GOOD INTENTIONS" when you knowingly said something awful.

[nbbh1510]

You fear what you don't understand or don't have.

 

A man is defined by their intelligence and physical strength.

 

Let me ask you both a question: have either of you gotten laid by a model of any sort before? You have both established the fact that either you are unhealthy, either fat or scrawny.

 

So now the question is, how much truth does the nerd stereotype hold?