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Funny Song Lyrics


Necromancer G

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Here are the Lyrics to the intro song of the movie "The Pest". I took me a couple of times watching it to get it all down.

 

I like to party with my babes,

Cruise 'n creep

Playin' three card monty on these crazy streets

Straight hustler, I'm gonna scam in a minute

So low to the floor pick the pocket on a midget

Slick shyster, The pest meister

Livin' life in Miami's Vice

Ma see, nobody messin' with the frog, see

Where's your Messiah now?

na na na na na na na na na na na na

Nice lady I'm hurting I'm hurting

I'm sexy but I'm hurting

Alright already

I'm ridiculous, like a booger I stick to this

Take a wiff of this

One stinky dinky, ha ha ha

Two stinky dinky, ha ha ha

Voodoo mambo, chili congo

Old school beat meets Latin freak and you don't stop

Voodoo mambo, chili congo

Old school beat meets Latin freak and you don't quit, and you don't stop

Voodoo mambo, chili congo

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the slickest of them all?

It's the schemingest keenest scam artist

God it's so hard to be modest!

Jack might be nimble but I'm a sex symbol

So slick I stole the wick from his candlestick

I'm in the mood to scam

Simply because I can

I'm Aladdin Houdini

Disappear in a flash with your cash

And I'm back like a genie

Hey Lucy, I'm home

Don't do that to me Lucy!

Freak to the east, freak to the west

Great booties and big chest

Then yes, ya'll it's like that

Why certainly, yuck yuck yuck

Get stupid get retarted

Cuz Pest will get the party started

Which way did he go, George?

Which way did he go?

Funkadocious, groovalicious, atrocious

What a maroon! What a maroon!

What a freak! What a sucker-butt!

I'm a man of a million disguises

I'm as crazy as they make 'em, shake 'em, or bake 'em

So scientific, hate to be specific

E equals M C squared

Multiply, divide it, slide up inside it

Bend it, mix it

Damn, I'm terrific!

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Here are the lyrics from the famous beer song by Wierd Al.You can hear the song on youtube

 

ooohhh, what is the malted liquor, what gets you drunker quicker,

comes in bottles or in cans…

BEER!

 

cant get enough of it…

BEER!

how we really love it…

BEER!

makes me think i'm a man…

BEER!

 

i can kiss and hug it…

BEER!

but i'd rather chug it…

BEER!

got my belly up to here…

BEER!

 

i cannot refuse a…

BEER!

i could really use a…

BEER, BEER BEER!

 

BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER

 

i cant remember how much I have had, i drank a twelve pack with my dad.

(burp) thats my son the drunken manley stud, im proud to call him my bud.

here, have some pretzels

no, i'll call it quits, those things give me the Schlitz

ha ha ha.

 

drink with your family, drink it with your friends

drink till your fat , stomach distends,

beer, is liquid bread its good for you,

we like to drink till we spew, ew

who cares if we get fat

i'll drink to that

as we sing once more…

 

what is the malted liquor, what gets you drunker quicker,

what comes in bottles or in cans…

BEER!

 

cant get enough of it…

BEER!

how we really love it…

BEER!

makes me think i'm a man…

BEER!

 

i can kiss and hug it…

BEER!

but i'd rather chug it…

BEER!

fill my belly up to here…

BEER!

 

golly I adore it, come on damn it, pour it,

do it for me brew it for me, feed it to me speed it to me,

BEER!

the most wonderful drink in the world, hooray!

 

(Burp)

 

i love that song

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My two favorite funny songs? Both of these, when I first heard them, had me laughing so hard I had to sit down.

 

#1: Suddenly It's Christmas - Loudon Wainwright III (couldn't find a link to the full song on the web)

 

Suddenly it's Christmas

Right after Hallowe'en

Forget about Thanksgiving

It's just a buffet in between.

There's lights and tinsel in the window

They're stocking up the shelves.

Santa's slaving at the North Pole

In his sweatshop full of elves.

 

There's got to be a build-up

To the day that Christ was born.

The halls are decked with pumpkins

And ears of Indian corn.

Dragging through the falling leaves

In a one-horse open sleigh,

Suddenly it's Christmas

Seven weeks before the day.

 

Suddenly it's Christmas

The longest holiday.

When they say "Season's Greetings"

They mean just what they say.

It's a season, it's a marathon

Retail eternity

And it's not over 'til it's over

And you throw away the tree.

 

Outside it's positively balmy

In the air nary a nip,

Suddenly it's Christmas

Unbuttoned and unzipped.

Yes, they're working overtime

Santa's little runts,

Christmas comes but once a year

And goes on for two months.

 

Christmas carols in December

And November too,

It's no wonder we're depressed

When the whole thing is through.

Finally it's January

Let's sing "Auld Lang Syne"

But here comes another heartache

Shaped like a Valentine.

 

Suddenly it's Christmas

The longest holiday,

The season is upon us

A pox! It won't go away!

It's a season, it's a marathon

Retail eternity,

And it's not over 'til it's over

And you throw away the tree.

No it's not over 'til it's over

And you throw away the tree.

It's still not over 'til it's over

And you throw away the tree.

 

 

#2: If You Wanna' Be Happy - Jimmy Soul - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwpR2-9EvsQ

 

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

 

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

 

A pretty woman makes her husband look small

And very often causes his downfall

As soon as he married her and then she starts

To do the things that will break his heart

 

But if you make an ugly woman your wife

A-you'll be happy for the rest of your life

An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time

And she'll always give you peace of mind

 

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

 

[sax solo]

 

Don't let your friends say you have no taste

Go ahead and marry anyway

Though her face is ugly, her eyes don't match

Take it from me, she's a better catch

 

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

 

[spoken:]

Say man!

Hey baby!

I saw your wife the other day!

Yeah?

Yeah, an' she's ug-leeee!

Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!

Yeah, alright!

 

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

(repeat chorus 3x)

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

 

The Purple People Eater was the #1 song for 6 weeks in 1958and the #24 song of the 1955-1959 rock era. It sold over 3 million records and received a Gold Record within 3 weeks after it was released.

And over 100 Million Copies Overall!!!

 

Words and music by Sheb Wooley.

 

Well I saw the thing comin' out of the sky

It had the one long horn, one big eye.

I commenced to shakin' and I said "ooh-eee"

It looks like a purple people eater to me.

 

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.

(one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater)

A one-eyed one-horned, flyin' purple people eater

Sure looks stange to me.

 

Well he came down to earth and lit in a tree

I said Mr. Purple People Eater don't eat me

I heard him say in a voice so gruff

I wouldn't eat you cuz you're so tough

 

It was a one-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater

one-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater

one-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater

Sure looks strange to me.

 

 

I said Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line

He said it's eatin' purple people and it sure is fine

But that's not the reason that I came to land

I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band

 

Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flying purple

people eater. Pidgeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin'

purple people eater

Flyin' purple people eater

sure looks strange to me.

 

And then he swung from the tree and lit on the

ground. He started to rock, really rockin' around

It was a crazy little ditty with a swingin' tune

(sing aboop boop aboopa lopa lum bam boom)

 

Well, bless my soul, rock and roll

flyin' purple people eater.

Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin' purple peopleeater.

Flyin' little people eater

Sure looks strange to me.

 

And then he went on his way, and then what do

you know. I saw him last night on a TV show.

He was blowing it out, a'really knockin' em dead

Playin' rock and roll music through the horn in

his head......

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