Freeradikul

[Timihendrix91]

So I just started a solo artist project, called Freeradikul. You can check it out here. I only have one song written so far, but I hope to have more written soon. I'm an amatuer at recording right now, so I think it's pretty good sounding considering that, but hopefully I'll get better.

[dezdimona]

very cool :thumbsup:

[Timihendrix91]

Thanks :). I guess I'll post here whenever I add new songs, if anyone is interested..

[tyreil829]

i look forward to your music!

 

Carth Onasi

[Vagrant0]

Honest comments ahead... Take with a grain of sugar if needed;

 

The song took too long to get started, too much ambiance and sound effects at the end, couldn't tell what style it was or anything for several seconds, longer than most would care to wait. It's one thing if releasing an album and having one track lead into the other, it's another thing if it's a standalone track. The first 15 seconds or so just sound like nothing. After that, you introduced a bit of a melody, but the sound seemed a bit too unrefined, the additional sound effects and scales in the background made it hard to focus on the melody, and as a result made it hard to enjoy the piece. The melody itself seemed a bit too repititious at times, relying on everything else around it to distract the listener. All in all, it just doesn't really work too great.

 

As a first piece, it's about average, there have certainly been worse attempts out there, but this should be seen more as a starting point for learning and improving than any sort of finished piece. Don't get too attached to what is said, take both the good and bad comments, and use them to get better.

[tyreil829]

its quite calming that music nice work

 

Carth Onasi

[Timihendrix91]

Honest comments ahead... Take with a grain of sugar if needed;

 

The song took too long to get started, too much ambiance and sound effects at the end, couldn't tell what style it was or anything for several seconds, longer than most would care to wait. It's one thing if releasing an album and having one track lead into the other, it's another thing if it's a standalone track. The first 15 seconds or so just sound like nothing. After that, you introduced a bit of a melody, but the sound seemed a bit too unrefined, the additional sound effects and scales in the background made it hard to focus on the melody, and as a result made it hard to enjoy the piece. The melody itself seemed a bit too repititious at times, relying on everything else around it to distract the listener. All in all, it just doesn't really work too great.

 

As a first piece, it's about average, there have certainly been worse attempts out there, but this should be seen more as a starting point for learning and improving than any sort of finished piece. Don't get too attached to what is said, take both the good and bad comments, and use them to get better.

I first off want to thank you for the criticism. It does mean a lot. I'll address each point that you made.

 

The song took too long to get started, too much ambiance and sound effects at the end, couldn't tell what style it was or anything for several seconds, longer than most would care to wait. It's one thing if releasing an album and having one track lead into the other, it's another thing if it's a standalone track.

That's what I would do if I was releasing an album, however that doesn't really work on myspace. If you look at my influences on the page, you'll see that some of my favorite bands are Muse and Radiohead. They both (Radiohead moreso) do a lot of ambient noises in their music, and I guess it rubbed off on me.

 

additional sound effects and scales in the background made it hard to focus on the melody, and as a result made it hard to enjoy the piece. The melody itself seemed a bit too repititious at times, relying on everything else around it to distract the listener. All in all, it just doesn't really work too great.

I don't know what you mean by "scales in the backround". I'm guessing you mean the part with the strumming guitar using phaser with the piano part. I wasn't able to get the volume equally mixed for those two parts (Going back to the whole "recording amateur thing), which is probably why. I have to disagree with that last statement in this quote. I don't use effects to distract people, I use them to add on to it. I would go as far to say that there isn't a singular "melody", but that's just my opinion.

 

As a first piece, it's about average, there have certainly been worse attempts out there, but this should be seen more as a starting point for learning and improving than any sort of finished piece. Don't get too attached to what is said, take both the good and bad comments, and use them to get better.

This is far from my first song.

 

I guses I forgot to mention that this isn't "attention-grabbing" music. It's music to have on in the backround while you just veg. I again thank you for your crits, but it seems to me that it's the just the style of this music that you aren't too big on.

[Vagrant0]

I guses I forgot to mention that this isn't "attention-grabbing" music. It's music to have on in the backround while you just veg. I again thank you for your crits, but it seems to me that it's the just the style of this music that you aren't too big on.

On the contrary, most of what I listen to is chill out music. It was really all the background stuff that made it hard to be considdered chill out music, it seemed a bit too random and unrefined, and left me a bit uneasy. The piano and guitar were good, but there was just too much chaos in the background to enjoy it. In a sense it's like someone harassing you when you're trying to sleep. The moment you think you can just lay back and relax, and start to lose awarenes of things, you get slapped in the face. Granted this is an exaggeration, and it's really more like a pin %&$!, but you get the general idea.

[Timihendrix91]

What do you recommend, then?

[Vagrant0]

What do you recommend, then?

Try cutting out the first 50 seconds. and removing whatever it is that fades in and out right at around 1:11, when the piano starts, and continues till about 1:32. It's simply too distracting and overpowering, can't really hear the piano. The one at 2:11 isn't as bad, but could still stand to be toned down or replaced with something less offensive. At 2:50 that first one starts again, drowning out the piano, again. The strumming that starts at 3:09 could probably be toned down a bit, and introduced earlier or something, it seems a bit too short, almost disconnected.

 

Essentially, focus more on the heart of the piece, the guitar, use the piano to keep things interesting, and use everything else as more like background, meant to only be noticed by those who are paying attention. Right now all the stuff that should be in the background is just too overpowering.