Breton Thief Oriana Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 heh...god bless Me-Mail...Agree or not, tell me why. Things You Have to Believe to Be a Republican Today 1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery. 2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority should be to enforce U.N. resolutions against Iraq. 3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money, but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness. 4. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India. 5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation. 6. Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton. 7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay. 8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins ... unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican. 9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex. 10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money. 11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart. 12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism. 13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools. 14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "We can't find Bin Laden" diversion. 15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy. 16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet. 17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's MADD driving record is none of our business. 18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states which local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt. 19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant. 20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wesaynothin Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 Greatest thing I've ever read. Beautifal. 8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins ... unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican. Actually, that's a bonus in California. Or, at least, in San Francisco. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muennin Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 Err... where to begin? Breton, I happen to be a registered Republican for the sole purpose of retaining my watchdog status. While my truest political sentiments lie nearer to both the American Independant and Green parties, I believe it is equally important to "keep my enemies closer". There seem to be so many dynamics involved with our current political system that the hour here in CA prevents me from responding as I should. Nevertheless, I concur with the overall theme of your post regarding the Republican tendency to shed their views in a more revisionistic and favorable light. At the very least, Clinton possessed the wherewithal to "accept full responsiblity", for whatever that was worth. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breton Thief Oriana Posted March 26, 2004 Author Share Posted March 26, 2004 Hey, im just having a bit of fun! lay off...the views are not intended to cause a hatred of republicans, only to satirize the hippocrasy of the recent events concerning them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iluventi Posted March 27, 2004 Share Posted March 27, 2004 Rofl... even though I haven't really got indepth knowledge of the American political system... (I'm aussie)... I know enough to know that that is bloody funny :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loveme4whoiam Posted March 27, 2004 Share Posted March 27, 2004 Indeed. I am, admitedly, one the most anti-american people i know (with the exception of you fine people and the makers of The Simpsons of course), and this i find to be true for not just the US, but the world in general. I just finished watching a poll on the best british sitcom ever made (i'm getting to a point here, bear with me; BTW for those who watched the program, the good life, fawlty towers and blackadder should have made up the top 3!) and one of the programs features was Yes Minister. For those who don't know what it was about, it was based around one minister in the British civil service, and it made just about every point Breton made above, but in a slightly more upper-class way. Just to show that politics is universally stupid, and does not only apply to the USA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pack Rat Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 I had a laugh at those statements too. And like Love me I am anti-american... Does that mean I hate the american people? No, not at all... But I do hate their politics and political hipocracy but most of all, I sooooooooo hate the Bush family... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marxist ßastard Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 (Recalls the famous "I have nipples... Can you milk me?" line from a movie) I'm an American... Are you calling me a hypocrite? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breton Thief Oriana Posted March 28, 2004 Author Share Posted March 28, 2004 Im an american too; so, yes, I am calling you A hypocrite :P ! it depends on wether you are devout republican or not, ya know? and, i cincerely doubt it because you are a Marxist basterd, not a Conservative basterd (<--Which is worse than the first one). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marxist ßastard Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 Ah, the GOP... Saving money so the rich don't have to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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