jaysus Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 BLINGGGGLINGGGBLIIIRRRBINGGGIGIGIGIBINGRRRRLINGLINGLING--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Insomnia - (subj.) ongoing sleep deprivation --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i love the word since i first learned it through a faithless song... it sounds tranquil smooth and stunning... like a beautiful gal comin out of the sea spray with the dusking sun behind her... glistening lights and flares coming from her smooth skinmaybe a bit less orange but more blue... cyan marine... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i once had a project going with the deadline coming close... eventually the task was changed and building 1:10 models of 3 storey single houses was requested... with only 1 week to go... (reference photos - click on the first symbol to the left) well who needs sleep anyway right? 4 days and nights working with glue, sticks, card board and wood... realizing that damn model wouldnt fit through the door... well... the cab was waiting... i was close to crying while i placed the saw... cut by cut it fell apart... 96h of work just interrupted by coffee, pasta and the occasional smoke... no stay awake drugs as i defy them as unnaturalglueing it all together on spot right during the presentation worked tho and all was allright... yet it left a scar in my soul... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- still today 5yrs later i feel im unfinished with something... something is missing... always... undone... needs work...i dont know what it is... adventure? sex? drugs? work? i dont know... something is a miss since then... from time to time i get the feelingthat feeling and i cant sleep, i probably could but my mind wants to complete, to compete to conquer... but what? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- still i never enjoy the morning sun more than after at least 2 days of insomnia, never feel the wind more, hear the sound more intensly or see the colours of my surrounding more complexquite like taking a sip from a mescaline soup and then swallowing a hand full of mushrooms cause the effect doesnt come... or so you thought before you stood naked in the rain praising the mighty toadgod i get angered more easily nevertheless, angry like it wouldnt be me... i can nearly see myself ranting and shouting from 3rd person... wanting to stop but i cant... i dont want to... i have to raise my voice... fight evil... just to fall down, realizing good aint better... turning to evil and retreating again balance at last -------------- god i hope that beer start to work like i was told lol... im tired... -------------- and whats your insomnia story? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elpiggo Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Umm... It took me a couple of hours to get to sleep last night? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandalftw Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 I don't have an insomnia story but i have an interest in Native belief systems.I became intrigued by the many stories of Vision Quests that native people used to go on for a variety of reasons mostly spiritual.One of the more common Vision Quest techniques was to go to a secluded area to fast and refrain from sleep for whatever time it took to gain an answer,through a vision,for whatever it was one might be contemplating.Sometimes it might be to gain an animal spirit or protector.There are many reasons for Vision Quests but mostly to gain personal power,increased respect within the tribe or to pass from puberty to manhood.Vision Quest I decided i wanted to experience first hand what might happen during during an extended time of food and sleep deprivation.I quickly realized,after the second day,that i would have to stay physically active to keep from falling asleep.So i started walking day and night and ate very little.Like you my senses became amplified,sound,colors,smells were so much more intense.On the third day i began to have minor hallucinations,as i walked i watched my shadow in front of me,there appeared to be other shadows dancing rhythmically,back and forth,intermingling with mine.I watched the shadows dance as i continued to walk.I decided to head to a large county park about five miles away where i stayed for the remainder of my experiment lol.In an attempt to shorten the story,i stayed awake for five days and the hallucinations became amazing.Childhood memories came to me as if i were watching them being played out in front of me.At night they were more intense,at one point i was walking through a wooded area that i knew well,however i became lost,suddenly the ground was covered with snakes.I have no fear of snakes but i became frozen to the spot afraid to take another step.I became aware of a figure to my right,someone was there but when i tried to look directly at him he disappeared.I could only see him in my peripheral vision.As i concentrated i could make out a figure with long hair and what looked like leather clothing.He appeared to be an Indian.I became aware that he crouched down and was pointing at one of the snakes slithering at my feet.He kept pointing and touching it,so i gathered up my courage and crouched down beside him.I slowly reached down and caught hold of the snake which turned into a thick root.I could tell that he found the situation quite funny.He started motioning for me to follow him,i did and at one point he crouched down again touching the ground i did the same and felt a hole in the ground,it was too dark to see it but it was obviously an animal burrow.Satisfied he moved on until we reached a clearing where i regained my sense of direction and realized where i was.He was still there just out of sight.What happened next is very personal but it had to do with experiencing the different aspects of myself,a releasing of emotional rubbish.A lot of other experiences occurred that last day,too many to go into.All i can say is that i sometimes would like to repeat the experiment and that i was changed by it.I know that had i not experienced it myself i would be skeptical of my story so i can't blame anyone for doubting me.I doubted the stories i read about Vision Quests but not anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaysus Posted October 18, 2008 Author Share Posted October 18, 2008 wow sounds like a fantastic trip...it should be mentioned though that these kinds of experiences wether drug induced or by sleep/water deprivation, illness like fever are always dangeours...a body can die by sleepdeprivation even tho its still unknown to man what sleep actually does or why we need it... (its not just to sort the mind) the interesting part i think is that one still recognizes reality but sees behind it... even these hallucinations are some distoted reflection of reality and might allow an insight in our own thoughts aswell as these of others sometimes... grabbing a snake to see it turn to a root might be some kind of thought that tells us somin... roots as the base of all, the fixing point and snakes as the unpredictable, swift danger but also medicine... i cant find a conclusion tho many famous people like lawrence of arabia, franz of assisi, that guy that wrote the necromonicum and others used it to understand, strengthen their bodies and souls and also to create sensefull or senseless thingssome cultures like the brazilian catholic church practise these things openly and in a group (quite like native tribes) and thus creates a safe environment and also guidance to understand and not fear... i must say its fascinating but always be careful at what you do ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandalftw Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 wow sounds like a fantastic trip...it should be mentioned though that these kinds of experiences wether drug induced or by sleep/water deprivation, illness like fever are always dangeours...a body can die by sleepdeprivation even tho its still unknown to man what sleep actually does or why we need it... (its not just to sort the mind) the interesting part i think is that one still recognizes reality but sees behind it... even these hallucinations are some distoted reflection of reality and might allow an insight in our own thoughts aswell as these of others sometimes... grabbing a snake to see it turn to a root might be some kind of thought that tells us somin... roots as the base of all, the fixing point and snakes as the unpredictable, swift danger but also medicine... i cant find a conclusion tho many famous people like lawrence of arabia, franz of assisi, that guy that wrote the necromonicum and others used it to understand, strengthen their bodies and souls and also to create sensefull or senseless thingssome cultures like the brazilian catholic church practise these things openly and in a group (quite like native tribes) and thus creates a safe environment and also guidance to understand and not fear... i must say its fascinating but always be careful at what you do ;) I just came back to give a warning about trying the same experiment i did, i guess i thought no one would want to try what i did for i've been told, by well meaning people that what i did was dumb.lol Anyway i want to add this info via a website that gives info about the hazards.WARNINGS You're right about recognizing reality for i knew that what i was experiencing were hallucinations.The meaning behind most of the hallucinations was so connected and profound that they made sense to me then and now.The snakes and the burrow meant tome then that i needed to test the difference between what is real and what is not real not only at the present moment but as an ongoing discipline to deal with the irrational.This happened when i was much younger so,thankfully,i didn't have any ill effects.However if one should have a medical condition it would not be wise to attempt what i did.Thanks for posting about thedangers for i spaced that out. The people you mentioned and the church is interesting,i'll have to look them up.Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaysus Posted October 18, 2008 Author Share Posted October 18, 2008 that church thing stunned me too - look for ahuayasca (the tee they drink containing some kind of vine)... usually the church and all bible/tora/koan related teachings defy drugs or mind altering states xcept alcohol - apart from the koan which defies it all(moses comes down kill his people for having a fun party and gives teh rest beer or wine to seduce and control em) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Javalin Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 Having Insomnia is not a good thing. I suffer from insomnia every month. I know exactly how it feels to be exausted to the point where even injections or sleeping tablets don't work. This was the point from collapsing due to exaustion (11 days without sleep)(Had to be admitted to hospital) I have experienced hullucinations and very bad moods. These hullucinations are of the same thing. Some man in a suit, repeating the words "Unforseen Consequences" So don't tell me or anyone else that being an Insomniac is a beautiful thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaysus Posted October 19, 2008 Author Share Posted October 19, 2008 im not saying insomnia is a good thing and 11 days really is damn close to death :blink:but i like the word... the sound is nice... and i stated myself that is has consequences of all kinds including aggressiveness for example but also consequences like a diferent perception of ones surroundings... if thats good or bad depends on the situation and on the person going through it... if you do it like gandalf or lawrence knowing what you do and willing to do so is a difference to the medical state of sleep deprivation in which you were... but i think its a good thing that you stated your total disregard of it as it shows how dangerous that stuff is... when i wrote the above i was awake 3 days and had a fricking bad headache but also percieved my world as kind and gentle... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Javalin Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 im not saying insomnia is a good thing and 11 days really is damn close to death :blink:but i like the word... the sound is nice... and i stated myself that is has consequences of all kinds including aggressiveness for example but also consequences like a diferent perception of ones surroundings... if thats good or bad depends on the situation and on the person going through it... if you do it like gandalf or lawrence knowing what you do and willing to do so is a difference to the medical state of sleep deprivation in which you were... but i think its a good thing that you stated your total disregard of it as it shows how dangerous that stuff is... when i wrote the above i was awake 3 days and had a fricking bad headache but also percieved my world as kind and gentle... I'd choose to have sleep deprivation as a total disregard to myself if I was given the reason to. Take for example, if I became the guardian of my loved ones, Family, Friends- and if it came as a duty to protect them wherever neccessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaysus Posted October 19, 2008 Author Share Posted October 19, 2008 pardon me plz? i dont quite understand...youd accept insomnia if youd have to stay on duty to guard your world so to speak? right? (well if that involves fighting id rather sleep from time to time to stay keen but if its impossible yeah... as long as necessary) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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