Insomnia

[gandalftw]

I've been an insomniac for around four years...having a case of insomnia in my house isn't fun at all. A mother who doesn't think i''m really an insomniac; a father who doesn't understand me when I tell him the symptoms aren't helped by lavender oil, tea (especially not tea), and many other attempts at "trying to help". In this case, I don't find anyone's help in this matter as help. I'm seventeen now. There are so many things going on in my life, and to get no sleep isn't helping.

 

A few years ago I would just sit in my bed, waiting for my weary self to fall into a sleep. I'd nod off at some point or another...maybe after an hour I'd sleep. Around a year later it took me twice as long to sleep and most of the time I'd wake in the middle of the night due to apnea. But now...now my life is so stressful; emotional stress probably being the worse. Also, my heart problems have worsened. A clog in my pulmonary valve causes several problems including frequent dizziness and fainting. Anyhow...these are some things that cause my insomnia.

 

...I stir, toss, and turn in bed...never grasping sleep. My body needs sleep but some part of me doesn't let that happen. So I read book late into the night. I mod Oblivion and replay the fun quests in the game. I edit videos and whatnot. I do anything but rest. My parents don't understand and don't try to understand. They just say to turn the light out and sleep. But I can't!

 

My emotions change all the time. I'm angry at everything and then I am laughing the next moment. I'm crying when alone and am filled with hate for otiose reasons. My grades in school are falling from the steady A I used to maintain. My life is falling apart around me as I see opportunities run from me. I find myself more and more useless. I need sleep and I can't have it!

 

Nowadays I don't usually sleep an hour for days straight. Maybe an hour here; two hours there. I eat at irregular times. I find my self sleeping at odd hours of the day. I hate insomnia with a passion.

 

But then again, insomnia can be quite fun at times...for most of the time though, it is a curse that can't be lifted. I hope that it leaves me soon. I can't go on like this.

 

My life passes before me like a subconscious blur...

Could you call your Doctor and ask for an appointment?I'm sure he or she would take you seriously.If not,talk to someone you trust like a school counselor or teacher.Just keep talking until someone takes you seriously.Here is an online group called TeenHelp.org

LINK that has been online for ten years now.Registering is free.I'm sure they can give you better advice than i.

Hope you can get help.What you're going through sounds awful.