A quick apology

[kvatchcount]

Idk if I am allowed to post this on here but I'm going to do it anyways. I'll feel a lot better once I've apologized.

 

I know I've probably angered some of the people on here or established myself as argumentative with others.

 

I don't flame or hate on others mods at all, by the way. That isn't at all what this is about. The reason I make this post is because I just have trouble controlling my emotions and was quick to anger if I felt insulted or threatened by someone. I want to throw an apology out there in case anyone who has seen me act like that can understand why. I can't just PM everyone. XD

 

I am bipolar and have been suffering from depression for a very long time. Probably since I entered elementary school, I am 19 now. That's a long time to be depressed and life hasn't been very good to me. Deaths in the family, financial hardship, father abandoning me as a baby and dying right before I turn 18, a hurricane, bullying, loneliness, etc etc. It can go on but you should get the picture. I haven't been well, and that took a toll with my modding and my interactions with both users and other modders.

 

But lately I have been taking steps to better myself. I got diagnosed for bipolar disorder and am currently being medicated for it. Been going on for about a month now. Since I've started taking that medication I've only had one crying/depression episode and most of the time I've been happy, eager to mod, eager to meet others. I've also been forgiving all those who wronged me so horribly in my life.

 

Even better, I've got an actual job now involving working with disabled people and it makes me feel happy. Exhausted, yes. But happy that I'm doing something meaningful instead of locking myself in my room and feeling sorry for myself and hating the world for what it had given me.

 

I make this post and reveal all this to you to say I am sorry. I've argued and angered plenty of people on here in the past. Annoyed others, and alienated more. I've been distant and cold to some people, and I've downright gotten so angry I've insulted others. (Everytime I look at my one Informal Warning, I cringe because I had let my emotions take over instead of handling it like an adult at the time.)

 

I am really sorry for how I've acted, and I acknowledge most of it was my fault. But I have taken steps to fix the mess I'm in and to fix my situation and give back positive energy in both this world and my life.

 

Thank you for reading, and to those who have experienced how I acted I hope you can forgive me. :smile: