Skyrim: the Sun Worshippers Paradise!

[comicauthor]

Having completed Skyrim some time I’ve decided to install some mods. My plan is simple yet perverted. Using the mods that remove the underwear from male and female NPC’s, along with “tdetect” and “sneak” mode, I intend to strip every resident of Skyrim bare, (apart from the children, of course. I’m not a Jimmy Saville). I tested it out in the pub in Whiterun. I believe it adds another layer of decadence to the place. I just need a pole dancer mod to complete the scene. And the naked Minstrel with his meat and two veg swinging to the rhythm of his Banjo, (or whatever it is), is a sight to behold. But I try not to stare at it for too long otherwise people may get the wrong impression. Yes! When I’ve finished Skyrim will be nudist colony. My wife thinks I’m sad. But what do women know, right? Would she rather I go out and steal underwear from washing lines? I think not. Although the weather is getting warmer and I need the exercise. And as a writer and former gag writer, this idea appeals to me. I can’t wait to strip the Greybeards on their mountain retreat. Divested of those robes that look like vulcanized rubber, let’s see how they survive those harsh elements. I didn’t see any central heating in that monastery, did you?

[MODinsane]

Ive enjoyed a lot of the MODs I use for Skyrim, especially the ones where new followers with voiced in content and new quests added for their characters. My personal bias is the foxy babes as well, it is a fantasy game and deserves the fantasy of boxum babes running about. It just adds to the distraction of the whole Skyrim experience and some may be pruds, however I am not. If people don't like nude MODs, then they don't have to use them, I just disagree with them. It's my game, I will use it how I want. I think it is great havig these boxum babes about as followers who kick butt. I like your idea keep me informed.

[comicauthor]

I’ve done Riverside. All are now reluctant sun worshippers. The only one who didn’t want to lose her clothes was Delphine. Every item of hers was listed but not those. I’m assuming this is a form of cyber chastity belt. Hopefully she’ll see that she’s out of place in what is now Skyrim’s first nudist colony. Yes, folks! This is where it all started. And the next time I see her she’ll be in her birthday suit. I stripped everyone I met on the road to Whiterun, apart from a guy on a cart. And I wasn’t waiting around for him to get down. So now it’s not only bandits and wild beasts they have to worry about! At this very moment news is no doubt spreading around the Kingdom about an invisible creature that leaves them naked! It’ll take time though, because they’re still way away from inventing the mobile phone.

Then I started in Dragonreach and divested the Jarl and his retinue of their fine clothes. Servants as well for when it comes to nakedness we’re all the same. The only dissenter was Irileth. She hid her armour from me. What’s she hiding? In Whiterun Torvar was another one who hid his clothes from a pickpocket’s prying eyes. Even one at level 81! Then there were still a couple in the pub I’d missed and this, I fear to say, resulted in a little fracas. That female warrior who calls you out detected me and I had to slit her throat. Once dead, I stripped her. Had she been more co-operative she’d be naked, but still alive. The incident was spotted by a naked guard who followed me home. Once inside the house I killed him. My naked wife, Lydia, will hopefully do some housework and get rid of the bodies. The clothing, by the way, I dump in the nearest undergrowth. I just hope they don’t find it.

Next stop Rifkin! The thieves are about to get a taste of the own medicine...

[comicauthor]

PS: The Greybeards were also un-strippable! So they remain warm in their hill top monastery. I’ve got a kill everyone mod so I may go back and slaughter them. Once dead I should be able to remove their robes. By the way, I’m dressed like them. I just love that outfit with the frayed cuffs. But I bet they don’t fart when they shout. I can’t remember who created that mod was a genius!

[canis39]

this is a pretty funny idea, I like it!

 

uh, MODinsane, I don't disagree with your sentiment, but I feel like I should point out that "boxum" is not a word.

[StayFrosty05]

I'm thinking comicauthor your Skyrim residents may feel a little more comfortable if you looked into the Tropical Skyrim Mod.... :happy: ....would just seem...ummm...less problematic.... :P

[comicauthor]

Thanks for that. I’ll check it out.

 

If anyone is interested my character is called “Bigarse.” Just so you’ll know who I’m talking about when I mention it in further reports. And he first appeared as the Avatar in Ultima. Since then I’ve used that name in most of the RPG’s I’ve played. Or cheated in. Either that or, “Hugh Jarse.” Not, I hasten to add, because it relates to me. It’s just a bit of childish humour and I’ve never grown up. It also relates to my wife who is constantly asking, “Is my bum big in this?”

By now some of you may be wondering what motivates Bigarse. Why does he want to turn Skyrim into a nudist colony? After all, I imagine such a plotline was far from the minds of the game designers at Bethesda. What they failed to see was a perfectly reasonable alternative to what is basically just another hack and slash fest. In MY version Bigarse was a simple travelling salesman working for the Dysen vacuum cleaner company. The vacuum cleaners – millions of them - were discovered in an underground Dwarven warehouse by the Imperial explorer Septimus Dysen. Who immediately saw their commercial value. Okay, there were some initial teething problems. They killed people by sucking their vital fluids through their fundamental orifices. This led Dysen to assume that they weren’t built for housekeeping purposes. But a friendly blacksmith adjusted the suction device and the rest is history.

So there we are. One minute he’s minding his own business selling Dysens and the next he’s wrongfully arrested, almost has his head cut off, and ends up fighting dragons. So when he asked Arngier, what his mission was, the Greybeard replied that was for him to find out. Well he has done. The psychological shock of realising he’s dragonborn was the last straw that unhinged an already fragile mind.

[comicauthor]

I may be tempted by a tropical Skyrim. There’s a mod that enables you to leave beachware lying about. I may finish with that. A sign that the deity who controls their lives does have a soft spot for them. In the meantime let them shiver. Now for the update...

 

Rifkin presented few problems for Bigarse. So there wasn’t much blood spilt. However, although not averse to slitting someone’s throat with his Daedric dagger if they resist being stripped naked, Bigarse did have one moral conflict. It occurred in the orphanage where he stripped the owner, Grelod, and her assistant. This left two buck naked women looking after a bunch of children. The weird thing was, although Grelod had the wrinkled face of an old hag, she had the body of a nubile young woman! Perhaps she was using the funds from the orphanage to have plastic surgery and hadn’t got round to her face. But surely the face would be the first? I would have thought so. But you just can’t figure those NPC’s out. They seem to live in a different world to us. Had Bigarse been able to he would have put blindfolds on the children. A low tech version of a Parental Protection system. On the other hand, these kids were orphans so they wouldn’t be telling their parents, right? Worse still, Bigarse returned to slit Grelod’s throat. Leaving the kids with one naked corpse covered in blood and a naked woman running around having a panic attack. Not good role models. Why kill her? Reflex action. In a past life he’d done it to gain entrance to the Black Whatsit. Or whatever.

 

The others who had throat surgery were a thief in the rathole and some female warrior in the pub. Her heightened senses told her something was amiss and she became belligerent. However, because she was unaware of Bigarse despatching her to the Happy Hunting Grounds was an easy matter.

 

Next stop that wintery place...

Edited May 11, 2013 by comicauthor

[breakwind]

I think you could imagine that Grelod has had her face done...it's just that it was worse before...I mean the Face Sculptor does only charge a thousand gold :cool: